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How To Deal With Incompatibility

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by shravs3, Aug 14, 2018.

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  1. Sunshine04

    Sunshine04 Platinum IL'ite

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    Ok. First add your name also into his account. I have credit cards of all joint accounts, but don't spend unnecessarily.
    This is crazy.
    God forbid something happens and he is in a bad medical condition, what will you do??
     
  2. lavani

    lavani Platinum IL'ite

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    yeah typical hubby. sorry dear. such people will keep fighting for years with their own wife, thinking they are winning some throne . then when they get in 40s. friends get busy , parents are old. brother and sisters are busy with their lives and do not have talk to him. then they feel really lonely and want a companionship. by that time, wife is so hurt and emotionally detached that she has nothing to give him.

    sorry dear for such a outburst. my rakhi brother life is ruined because of his stupid wife. So it hurts when i see a similar situation irrespective of the gender.

    Just be smart. do not share everything means your skills , thoughts , salary. fighting will never improve anything. need to be tactical.

    salary can be divided at source level ie your employer can put a part in 1 bank account and in another .
     
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  3. shravs3

    shravs3 IL Hall of Fame

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    Thanks and you are true!
    Wow good info. Never knew about this!
     
  4. shravs3

    shravs3 IL Hall of Fame

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    I am sure he will not agree for joint account with his salary account.
    And I expect the same for my account too! But I’m sure he will make it joint which I don’t like
     
  5. HazelPup

    HazelPup Platinum IL'ite

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    so practical...

    Sharvs,

    Yes I know something similar happened in a Friends life. Sorry to bring this but you need to learn to be independent
     
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  6. Sunshine04

    Sunshine04 Platinum IL'ite

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    Hmm. At least have 1 joint account and get a credit card for that.
     
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  7. shravs3

    shravs3 IL Hall of Fame

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    I can understand .
    I would love to be independent . But I feel am not getting that freedom from him. I feel he is restricting for everything and I feel helpless .. I am just waiting to get a job first.
     
  8. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Wait, not a single joint-account? There is not a single anything I own myself without my spouse's name in it. That is strange.
     
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  9. Sunshine04

    Sunshine04 Platinum IL'ite

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    Well, don't make your account joint then.
    You guys are living in us now. He has to change his mindset.
    My dad is dominant in our family. But my brother is totally opposite. He and his wife take joint decisions in every thing.
    So upbringing has little to do with this.
    Think of some crooked ideas to change hin
    .
     
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  10. SinghManisha

    SinghManisha Platinum IL'ite

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    Your situation is a reminder to all unmarried women about the questions and concerns to be raised before one gets in a arranged marriage with a guy abroad. More important when the local laws do not allow the dependent wife to seek employment.
    It is a good idea to carry some money abroad and deposit in a bank in their own name. Do research about credit cards , drivers license and everything else needed to be independent before moving abroad. Ideally the husband should take care of all this but it might not happen all the time. In arranged marriages there is more room to ask all the right questions because one is not blinded by love completely yet.

    Your husband has lot of questions to answer. The problem here is more serious than differences regarding weekend outing plans. You are in a foreign country with no legal means of seeking employment. You do not have any access to your husband’s money, no joint accounts, no drivers license. Plus there is no chance to study further and improve your skill set. With no credit cards you will also have no credit/ financial history . This means you will not get any loans to study or buy a car.

    Put your arguments about weekend outing plans aside for now. Focus on fighting for more important things . This is crucial . Do not put it in the back burner because your husband will stop talking to you for a few days.
     
    sindmani, GoneGirl, shravs3 and 2 others like this.
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