Miscarriage- How To Support Husband?

Discussion in 'Fertility & Trying to Conceive' started by Meghaa, Sep 20, 2017.

  1. Meghaa

    Meghaa Silver IL'ite

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    The loss for me is on so many levels :
    1) I cannot conceive naturally (both tubes removed due to hydrosalpinx) - that itself feels like i have been cheated of a precious/special experience
    2) Its not just me, but I cant stand the pain my husband is in
    3) Parents and in laws are sad for us & for themselves too..

    Its like my entire lie has been swallowed by infertility
     
  2. Chiu

    Chiu Senior IL'ite

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    Meghaa, I am so sorry for your loss. Even though I haven't suffered a miscarriage, I am struggling with infertility for past 3 and 1/2 years and soon starting my first IVF cycle. So I can understand how you and your husband must be feeling. I strongly believe in 'the best way out is always through'. You have to feel all those emotions to eventually move on and it is definitely not an overnight process. It will take time. I don't have much advice other than distract yourself with activities, spend time with each other and remind each other that you will be there for each other no matter what. Men are usually not vocal about their feelings. Try to talk to him and make him open up about his feelings. Hugs to you. This too shall pass.
     
  3. samsWait

    samsWait Silver IL'ite

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    I am sorry Meghaa for your loss. Are you taking a break from these treatments? Sometimes that takes a lot of pressure off chest.

    If not the way we are trying to cope is to think of the future. What went weong what questions to ask the doctor. Why did the m/c happen. Do I have any clotting disorders immune issues? Or is it egg/sperm quality, any ways to improve that and so on. That is giving me hope for future. My husband immediately started working a lot, inviting friends and binge watching all of these are his coping mechanisms.
     
  4. Meghaa

    Meghaa Silver IL'ite

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    I dont want to wait. I want to move ahead with further treatments.
    It helps me move on. Also - My iVF results are not very good - mmy ovaries make very few eggs - so I feel like I dont have the luxury of waiting
     
  5. ChennaiExpress

    ChennaiExpress IL Hall of Fame

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    You are in our prayers.
     
  6. samsWait

    samsWait Silver IL'ite

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    All the best. Take care of your health.
     
  7. dakota33

    dakota33 New IL'ite

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    Hey. I am so sorry for your loss. Everyone copes with things differently. Our miscarriage had opposite results. My husband was stronger than me. I had completely shattered. He gave me hope and told me I had nothing to do with it. Even though I felt like everything was my fault. You need to understand things from his perspective. This is not the end of things. Miscarriage is a lot more common then we know. Just be there for him emotionally. Men do not show it, but they need just as much emotional support.
     

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