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Relationships Forum Chatter & Grey Matter

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Rihana, Jun 22, 2016.

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  1. Aug 17, 2018 #1951
    ragz2richez

    ragz2richez Bronze IL'ite

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    Why? Next time, "shrug, and move on to something else", think "what would ragz say in such situations"? :)

    Reg friend - pick up the phone and call her and say you prefer it less crowded so you are planning to book a hotel and you are indeed happy her family is staying with her. Dont message.
     
    ragz2richez, Aug 17, 2018
    ragz2richez, Aug 17, 2018
    #1951
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  2. Aug 17, 2018 #1952
    poovai

    poovai Platinum IL'ite

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    @Rihana,

    It depends, how close you are to the host family. One of my friend is like to host lot of people in her house, 20+ is normal for her. I know most of her friends and families through get together(s). It will be fun to be with large group. She only cooks breakfast and the rest of the time, we will be out of the house.

    If you are not comfortable, pass the message through your DH. I don't think, it matters.
     
    poovai, Aug 17, 2018
    poovai, Aug 17, 2018
    #1952
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  3. Aug 17, 2018 #1953
    Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    r2r? : ) so whats with the "richez" in the id? Hum bhi tho sunein. Let us also hear. : )

    Hmm... that will make her feel like a bad host and us like an un-adjusting guests. but, you may be right. easiest is to be upfront.
     
    Rihana, Aug 17, 2018
    Rihana, Aug 17, 2018
    #1953
  4. Aug 17, 2018 #1954
    Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Not close, just whatsapp. We've been to only one other reunion. Going to this as it is near a Natl Park we have not visited. If all know each other, then it can be fun. My DH and kids will not understand the language the rest of us will be talking in.

    DH is full of "I told you so". : ) He wanted hotel from the start. When reunion happened in our city, we didn't host, instead did all the ferrying from airport to houses and from houses to venue (weekday during working hours that nobody wanted to do).
     
    Rihana, Aug 17, 2018
    Rihana, Aug 17, 2018
    #1954
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  5. Aug 17, 2018 #1955
    ragz2richez

    ragz2richez Bronze IL'ite

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    Wanted it atleast in the name :flushed:
    otherwise as "middle-class" as ever :flushed:
    no one gives free alms :smiley:

    well, if you can 'adjust' for couple days, then maybe the friend will be happy you stayed. You can consider it. Else, maybe a direct phn call, i dunno, not 100% sure
     
    ragz2richez, Aug 17, 2018
    ragz2richez, Aug 17, 2018
    #1955
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  6. Aug 24, 2018 #1956
    Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Viswa, I think we all strive to teach children good values, consideration for others, and we try to set some good examples. Just that there might be some variations of opinion like whether or not spend some $$ on birthday parties. Some more examples where parents might do things differently:

    - one parent might tell child that he will only pay for 50% of college expenses, and get a loan or job for the rest. Parent might think this is a character and life building experience for kid. Another parent might think that college is the time to study and child need not work. And child should not start off working life with huge college debt.

    - one parent (who can afford to help) might tell child that they will not help with wedding expenses beyond one big gift like honeymoon. Another parent might plan and save for and spend quite a bit on child's wedding and also give significant gold/gift to DIL or son-in-law. I think planning and funding one's own wedding is a huge character building experience for the child. Even if parent can afford it, mostly child should finance his/her own wedding. Just my take.
     
    Rihana, Aug 24, 2018
    Rihana, Aug 24, 2018
    #1956
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  7. Aug 24, 2018 #1957
    Laks09

    Laks09 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    I don't differ in opinion with you. I really like you. You seem to think a lot like my DH. Now, delivery methods differ. I really think it comes from being raised differently. As long as we all agree that compassion begets compassion and we have to be compassionate, I'm sure the kids will learn. Either by us inculcating it from the start or hopefully by emulating us.
     
    Laks09, Aug 24, 2018
    Laks09, Aug 24, 2018
    #1957
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  8. Sep 3, 2018 #1958
    Laks09

    Laks09 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Talk about calling attention to oneself! Here is a kettle, calling the pot black :)
     
    Laks09, Sep 3, 2018
    Laks09, Sep 3, 2018
    #1958
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  9. Sep 5, 2018 #1959
    silentlistener

    silentlistener Silver IL'ite

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    I also would have done the same had it been my sister. I 100% agree with you.
    Even after understanding that they are trapped with a flagrantly abusing partner ,some women are in a compulsion to go ahead with next pregnancy. It is not that they are opting for this choice out of willingness or happiness. They don't have any financial independence ; they Can't survive alone.

    @yellowmango is this the reason why you are posting, very less often? If so it is very unfair. Because your posts used to have a very valuable Insight. And these pathetically abused individuals , who have no option to escape from their trapped situation, are not the folks, to be considered unworthy of talking to. So, please come back and start posting your views even if you are harsh.
     
    silentlistener, Sep 5, 2018
    silentlistener, Sep 5, 2018
    #1959
  10. Sep 6, 2018 #1960
    yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    Thanks SL.
    I wonder about my posts sometimes.
    I haven't lived the life of most women here with problems. Sometimes feel stupid offering advice.
    I also feel sometimes what I write is not practical ...more idealistic than practical.

    I have been busy busy with life ...will hopefully post more often.:)
     
    yellowmango, Sep 6, 2018
    yellowmango, Sep 6, 2018
    #1960
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