Bonding Time With Husband During Parents/in-laws 6 Months Visit

Not really, no. I wouldn't do that. I was trying to lighten your mood, pulling your leg with a double entendre - one that I imagined/hoped was intentional on your part. I'll wait for the (purported?) humor to catch up with you or for someone else to explain.

 

OP,

Can you imagine dropping / picking up baby from the daycare and managing a sick infant along with your daily routine?

At least, you didn't talk about lack of sleep. Every minute of silence (baby's nap time) was precious moments for the parents. But, those were unplanned moments to enjoy.

The question is, would it happen when your parents are around? Concisely, it will be hard.

 

Can you have both your folks shorten their stays slightly, say 5 months each instead of 6? That will give you some breathing room.

 

I was thinking on similar lines. As they would have already visited so many times why not make it alternate years. That way OP will get at least six months every year but maybe OP would want to wait till the LO is a bit older. This approach can help with the savings also a lil bit now that they have a LO was what I was thinking.

 

Firstly I admire you that ur parents visit u equally as ur in-laws and for 6 months a year. You are indirectly setting example for ur friends and acquaintances and that's a good thing. It's also nice to see a couple who care for their parents and in-laws so much and give them so much time even when being abroad .
Coming to ur main issue , ur schedule of inviting then in few weeks gap, is not correct Can you change it to few months gap , and also take vacation with DH and baby between these gaps . It will be difficult as the tradition has been set to invite them so you have to do it gradually , like plan a vacation very early on , then they will understand .

I too love my parents a lot, and care a lot for in-laws well being . But still when our parents visit us , I make sure never to neglect to spend time with my husband . Your situation is virtually a joint family . So I'm sure ur parents / in-laws will understand if u both want to go on dates or movies as a couple sometimes while they are there . Actually I never go alone when we have guests staying in the house because I find it extremely rude and maybe u are feeling that way . But your case is different that u both are virtually in joint family . So I think no one will mind that and it will be a win win situation as they can spend time with their grand kids . u should also encourage at other times for them to go to movies as a couple so they also get similar privacy. Through these practices , u can slowly create a good balanced way of spending time in ur family .

 

Hi,

I would suggest first discuss about this to ur husband..u have a good relationship with ur mil then tell ur situation and ask her how she managed when ur husband is small...sure she will understand...

Lot of ways to share some love..
1. Pickup ur husband from office.
2. Week days lunch out.
3. Give 1 month gap between 2 parents visit.
4. Send mails to ur husband,,chat in mails...Some love letter..love text etc.
5. Make sure u both spend 1 hr daily for u both after kids sleep...

 

OP,

First off you are doing a great job with the parents and the baby. It is wonderful for the baby to be surrounded by elders who give him attention, love and care. Now that the baby is small a he needs that time, but with in a year he will be more independent and will not require that much of hovering from everybody.

Here are few suggestions about ways you can sneak in time with your husband.Maybe it could be 10 minutes a week and then you can gradually increase it?

1) in the evening when you take the baby out, can your husband also join you?
2) When you go to the grocery, go with him and say that the parents can take some rest?
3) Going to bank or post office?
4) Going to pharmacy to get medicines for baby and parents?

After chores are done, you can spend some time at the coffee shop. Start these off when your parents are here and then extend it.

Good luck, you have handled tough situation with your parents-in-law and you will do well here too.

 

I understand your concern,even I ve been in the same boat.
Read a few suggestions on going out with husband leaving behind the kid with grandparents; in my case it would be feasible when my parents are around but with in- laws I don’t find it a good idea.First of all they would also be longing to go out as they are totally dependant on us while they r in the US. In such a situation its unfair to leave them and go, and moreover they might have limitations in looking aftr ur LO in ur absence.
So my suggestion would be- try out this idea if you are ok to leave ur kid with ur parents when they r on their schedule to visit you.
Second one- try to leave a gap of a week next time btwn the departure and arrival of grandparents and you both go for a trip , in my experience staying away from home for a short while is quite relaxing and would help you to replenish your lost initimacy. Needn’t be a very sought after vacation spot- any place where you can relax and spend some time as a family.

Pls don’t worry , tiffs between both of you would be common in such situations as we don’t get enough time to open up and talk out the issues as a couple when parents are with us. Make use of night times too ..