Mil Behaving Rude

You should have just asked her to come once.
If husband asks you again...tell him to do it himself as you don't want to be insulted again.

Don't give her so much attention .

Next time they ask you to get over it...tell them you are trying your best but it is getting difficult ....then move away . Let them know you are not willing to be a doormat forever.

Cut out all unnecessary interaction with the stupid crass woman .

Don't let your parents become fodder for her . Tell them you will meet them at their place.
Meet them there with husband .

Op you knew you were marrying a guy with a crass mother. This should not be a shock for you.
Work on building your importance in your husband's life without getting into confrontation with her.

Slowly work towards finding your place in the house.

In the long term....is there a chance of having a seperate living arrangement at least within the home ....like they live on one storey and you at a different level ?
Did your mil live with her mil ?
Is your husband willing to have a separate living arrangement close by ?Don't discuss this now.

Your husband has a govt job. Is it possible for him to get a transfer to another place?

 

I feel really sad for u that she behaved and spoke such way to ur parents to call them dogs.. that's really crossing the limit I can understand your agony . I will advise that don't make too a big deal nor let it pass .Afterall it's ur parents and it's your duty to defend them .Think what ur husband reaction would be if ur parents had done same to his parents .
Do your duty towards inlaws and husband but don't interact nicely with everyone pretending that everything is fine . Maintain silent treatment with everyone, till they acknowledge your pain to see your parents humiliated and abuse like that . If u follow ur husband advice and just get over it , things will just get worse. And for what should you compromise your parents respect ?

 

This.
Don't let abusive behavior become acceptable .
Husband and fil will be very comfortable if you just accept her behavior and not make an issue of it.
But you are the one who has to live with the abuse.

 

She will keep on trying to get a reaction from you. Ignoring her is the only solution for her. It is very difficult but try not to give too much importance to what she says and does. A boys mother becomes extremely insecure once the son gets married. I have seen how my mil tried to provoke me and I foolishly reacted. Never do that.