Mil Behaving Rude

absolute case of insecurity here, she wants her son to spend more time with her , she is trying to tell u that you are of no importance and your husband should do that too ( treating u poorly). I think you should focus on more important things in life and let your husband know that you are doing your job. Keep your head high at all times

 

I can understand your situation how tough it is to deal.

You have mentioned ur husband has recorded conversation, then why cant he ask his mother about such talks and now he has known his mother's true colour. Still why he supports his mother and ask you to obey her and be slave to her and husbands (most of them) however bad their parents they still love them.

First tell your husband to buy washing machine and hire servant for sweep mop, wash vessels and cut veggies. You both can sit and talk with mil and ask her why she has to behave such rudely and what happiness she gets by doing so.

You prepare breakfast and lunch and ask her to prepare dinner as you will be tired reaching home and again need to prepare. Before reaching home , have some food in cafeteria and reach home so that you will get some energy to work if she is not willing to cook for dinner.

Inspite of you showing gifts, she is so adamant to see the gifts. You should put an end to this routine problem, almost 3 months u r tolerating, patience has a limit. May be she thinks that mil should not be friendly with dil and has to dominate dil and she is feeling insecured as her son will not show love and affection to her and it will be only for you. Then why did she get her son married, some mil will never change their attitude, character.

Don't complain about mil as they wont listen, don't spoil your happiness becoz of mil problem. You speak to you fil and ask him also to talk to mil. Discuss and put an end to it how long to tolerate each day is a pain, no peace.

 

Op.....just calm down.
Your mil was a rude woman before marriage too. This was expected.

Your husband now knows about how she bad mouths you.

Don't bend over backwards to please her.You don't have to do everything your husband says. Tell him you are doing all you can to keep peace . Stop pleading with folded hands.

If she is thowing a tantrum....just move away to your room or do something else.

If husband is pressurising too much.....calmly tell him when he is in a good mood that he is pushing you too much and you can't take it for too long.
Don't discuss it after that.

This is what Indian men do.
They keep pushing the party that is willing to bend little realizing they are losing the respect and love of their life partner.

As for her bad mouthing you.....don't worry,most people do. People need to vent .
You can do it on the forum,she can't so she is doing it to her family.
Her brother may believe her but if she is such a rude and temperamental person, it is unlikely her bhabhi will believe her.

As for her accusations....what is wrong about talking to your family often. It is your right.
Her son lives with her....you can't talk to your parents?
Ridiculous. Don't even respond to such idiotic comments . Accept it proudly and say all children love their parents .

Don't worry op....all this is very normal early in the marriage.

Just concentrate on how to not get triggered and stay calm without becoming a doormat.
Your staying calm is your victory.

Find time to do yoga. See if it helps you calm down.

 

She lives with her son but can't accept u to talk to ur parents . Feel so sad that most Indian DILs have to put up with things like this in the name of respecting elders .. it is like a slavery .

 

God only knows when all this entitled nonsense with stop.

 

You should talk to her openly. Make her a tea and have an open conversation, she must understand that you are family now

 

Congratulations on getting married!!
Your MIL is a typical MIL being possessive about her son. I'm not too sure if you have a FIL or not since you didn't mention anything, if you don't have an FIL then your MIL must be lonely and focusing all her energies and mind on you and your husband. Your MIL is insecure about the 'new woman' , she was running the house till now, and now suddenly you are the centre of attraction. So she is bound to feel insecure.
You just married 6 months back, it will take about 1 more year for all of you to adjust to all this. Its been 1.4 yrs that i have been married and everyone in my home is still adjusting to each other.
I would suggest you to take a chill pill, let her behave how she wants to behave and ignore her small things. Do not overthink. Enjoy this newly married phase of your life, because it will never come back.

 

Op like others have sugguested, I would ignore her completely and enjoy newly married life. Sooner or later your mil will get over this and start to behave normal.

 

OP,

Just ignore your Mil behavior. The more you try her to behave the more she will misbehave. Just let her be herself. Soon or later your parents will also find out how she is. Don't try to over do it. I know you want one happy family but the way she is behaving it's not going to happen. Why don't you spend time with your parents when they come and don't bother about your Mil sitting there. Anyways with her sad long face everyone else will felf uncomfortable anyways so why don't you let that sad long face be in the kitchen. Also don't say anything about her to your hubby. Just do your duty and don't try to make her happy. Just because she see you trying so hard to make this family happy the more she cause trouble. So the best thing to do is ignore and enjoy your married life with your husband.

Please don't stress over her and let her do what she wants to do. Even if she is talking bad about you behind your back let her. Sooner or later everyone will find out.

Take care.