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Fed Up Of Life

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by star90new, Jul 18, 2018.

  1. Lalithambigai

    Lalithambigai IL Hall of Fame

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    What :thinking: You can't do this :nono: without going on your honeymoon, coming back and sharing the stories with us, after all the wonderful ideas we gave.

    Maybe he too feels you are not catering to his basic needs. Honeymoon will take care of that too.

    If all of us put all our problems on a table and free to pick anyone else's we will all probably just pick our own and walk out after seeing everyone else's problems. Count your blessings.

    I have watched close to 50 movies in the last two months alone and read a book, almost all suggested by IL's here. I can share the list with you if you want to take a break at home itself. I would recommend you start with 102 not out. 102 yr old Amitabh succeeds in sparking life into his 75 yr old son Rishi Kapoor's life. You will have to watch the movie for the formula. Don't miss it.

    We can come back to this thread after those 50 movies and your honeymoon, if you still want to :beer-toast1:
     
  2. BerryPine

    BerryPine Gold IL'ite

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    Life is full of choices.When Life has become a choice,Choose living.
    Forget the past,dont pack yourself and live there forever. You are allowed to hate anyone but you is important.

    Painless method for suicide is to ignore the thought of suicide. The pain you holding on seems be overwhelming and permanent at the moment,trust me this too shall pass and you'll be fine.

    Promise yourself to take care of self at any situation. YOU is important.
     
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  3. GeetaKashyap

    GeetaKashyap IL Hall of Fame

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    Hi dear,
    Let us face the truth. Everyone has problems and no one's life is perfect and tailor-made. At times we feel the issue/situation is unbearable and overwhelming. The first panic reaction is to quit. But hold on and face your monster. You will suddenly realise that the monster isn't that strong nor you are that weak! When all the doors close, look around; there will be a little window open for you.

    Please go out of the house to a mall, eat something nice, have a beauty treatment done, change your hairstyle, indulge yourself and meet newer people, you will feel a lot better. Consult a counsellor or a Psychiatrist immediately; they will help you see the reality as it is. Check whether your place has free telephonic suicide prevention centres. If it is there, anonymously you can call them and talk your issues with them. Talking to them gives you clarity on your current situation.

    Your anger and hopelessness is transient. Many people have gone through similar situation and emerged winners. You are not the only one; if they all could fight their situation, can't you? YOU CAN AND YOU WILL. When you are calm and composed, consider your future plans with any trusted person or a counsellor. Trust you capabilities and the higher power. Pray for clarity and guidance.

    Separation, independent life, reestablishment or even divorce are all unknown spaces. Unknown space can always be scary. But, remember ''Darr ke aage jeet hai", that is, you will get victory only when you get over your fear.

    Cheer up, dear, you are getting an overwhelming online support and counsel here itself. Trust me, you will be alright. Keep communicating with us.
     
    Last edited: Jul 18, 2018
  4. zales

    zales Silver IL'ite

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    So you are capable of suicide but not divorcing your husband? I call BS. So what if you have never lived independently before, this will be your first time and everyone has to start somewhere. I read your other thread from which I understand you have no kids. This is your blessing in disguise, you have the freedom and opportunity to achieve anything you want. You are certainly not alone, there are many, many people who live their lives with several problems and no support from families. Even if you do have support, you have to fight your own battles at the end of the day. Life is not easy, but you have to create your own destiny. Self pity will get you nowhere. The ladies here have been very kind and put out some really good advice and words of encouragement. I hope you take them and seek some help. Good luck.
     
  5. periamma

    periamma IL Hall of Fame

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    @star90new who said to you that all married women are happy ?you cry for your unborn baby but not thinking about your parents .How can they bear the loss of their lovely grown up daughter.First you love yourself,then shower your love on your husband and parents.suicide is not the solution ma.These are all passing clouds and if you keep your step firm and bold all problems will vanish soon.i have posted a snippet on MOTHERHOOD please go through it and find how a Mother struggles to bring a child.Never think about ending life.There are lakhs of people who have no food and shelter still they want to live their life.Please come out of your shell with positive thinking.YOU CAN OVERCOME THE STRUGGLE WITH GOD'S GRACE
     
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  6. messedup

    messedup Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear OP , please reply about your wellness. We all hope you are fine and not taken any wrong decision. Read all replies and try to regain some strength.
     
  7. DDream

    DDream Finest Post Winner

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    OP, Hope you are feeling better. Please come back and reply.

    One needs courage to live and face life than running away by killing oneself. Its not a solution. Being alive is the most important aspect in life. Your life is precious. Please seek help. Once you come out of this depression, you can slowly pick up your life the way you want. You can do it. If you want to cry or pray, do that. That may get you some relief.

    I dont know where you are located. Here are some helpline links..

    In India

    1Life: 91-78930-78930 (24X7) support@1life.org.in
    Aasra: 91-22-27546669 (24X7) aasrahelpline@yahoo.com
    Vandrevala Foundation: 1860-266-2345 / 1800-233-3330 (24X7)help@vandrevalafoundation.com
    SUMAITRI: 91-11-23389090 (Mon-Fri 2pm to 10pm and Sat-Sun 10 am to 10pm) feelingsuicidal@sumaitri.net
    Sneha India: 91-44-2464 0050 / 91-44-2464 0060 (24X7)help@snehaindia.org
    Lifeline Foundation: 91-33-24637401 / 91-33-24637432 reach@lifelinekolkata.org

    United States
    Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

    Worldwide
    If you're outside the US, numbers for your country are here: Help a friend - Befrienders Worldwide. You can also e-mail jo@samaritans.org to talk to someone or go to http://www.samaritans.org/how-we... to speak with someone.
     
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  8. pinky2cute

    pinky2cute Platinum IL'ite

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    Quite useful links shared. Op, do go through and contact them.

    Just to tell you that i was in same phase and i even googled for the ways to die and immediately google had shown up the suicide helpline numbers....

    Thats when i felt like slapping myself and scolded myself for even thinking like a loser to give up my life.

    Remember one thing... YOU WERE BORN ALONE AND YOU DIE ALONE.
    in-between people come and go.... If everyone starts ending lives due to problems caused by others mistakes or for something untoward happened in your life or if things didnt go as you wish for...then the population would be extinct with so many suicides!

    Live for yourself. Think for yourself first.
    Contact IWILL online therapy ....I see lot of posts from people who got help with counselling.

    Thankfully, I didn't need it ...as I pulled myself out of the depression...

    Your parents maybe didnt understand you but they gave you birth n raised you given you education and basic needs. No parents would harm their child wantedly. They might be old fashioned in their thinking and it might have backfired for you but this doesnt mean they dont love you.
    And even if they do not support you now then its ok. Let it go. Think about how to better your own life now.
    Take your life in your hands...not your parents not ur husband nor inlaws....just you ...you have the power over your life.
    Dont think for whom to live and all... It's your life.
    Live for yourself. And unless you love yourself...you cannot expect others to love you.

    You wanted to go for honeymoon... If your dh not showing interest and you cannot fund for a vacation then its ok. Maybe take a weekend getaway and show your dh that u want to consummate marriage... Show him some love... I dont think any husband would keep his hands off his wife unless he has some affair or he was forced into this marriage n not interested in you or if he has some sexual problem that he do not want you to know.

    Once you are mentally lil better, get a job first. Its not just for financial freedom but also wud also get ur confidence back wen u meet other people, refresh ur mind n feel good urself.
     
    Last edited: Jul 18, 2018
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  9. BerryPine

    BerryPine Gold IL'ite

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    OP,Come back soon.
     
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  10. star90new

    star90new Bronze IL'ite

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    Thankyou all.
    After I posted this many messaged me and showed support here. I am passing through some tough phases in life and at times lose it. Thank you all for the support. Feeling better now. Many have commented asking to find happiness in myself , how do i do that?
    I dont find happiness anything other than hanging out with a good friend. I dont have a good friend , my husband has turned out be a bad influence on me. I posted here on indus ladies for friends but dint get many. Looking for some who I can meet after few months. My college friends are all busy with family and we meet maximum once a year. Neighbors are all busy with their kids. I am not working at the moment. While I was working , no one was interested in friendship.
    My best friends from school and college are too busy with family that they dont have time for me. We have drifted apart now.
     
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