All It Takes!

Sometimes you never know what upsets you. Or others! Whatever you had been doing before, and what mood you were in - suddenly it all seems to be pointless and you are left to just stare at what s happening around you. While you may or may not be the starter of all this [willingly or unfortunately otherwise], the turn out of events lie beyond your control. You wonder where it all went wrong and are left in a difficult position to explain why you felt so and how it was never meant to be, if you are the one who is pointed at.

If you are going through this thing however, you seem to be so much consumed by anger or self pity or even a total reclusive feeling, with the further fueling of the thought that no matter what you did, how hard you tried, you are always yelled at or bullied or trampled down. With every word feeling like a hammering on your head, you seem to hear and react to only one thing - your thoughts, those bitter ones of course.

Then there comes an awkward pause that seems to grow a discomfort so exponentially fast that both parties that are hit, are soon alarmed about it. Without a real intention to permanently break, you wonder whether it would be good to make that first attempt to heal this first. Of course you are pounded with a question - "Why should I do this first? More mistake lies the other side! Let me wait!". The hurt pride raises its hood in situations like this, filling you to the brim. As hours drag to days and other activities push that to weeks and even months, this strange thing called life, reminds you of the other's presence or kind words and acts at an unwarranted time. You try brushing it aside, saying that you were right, but a part of you thaws a bit.

Now, if there are further acts of the other that seem to be unaware of it, you stop mellowing and slowly go colder on them, that part of yours hardening inside. A part of you will always say that you are at fault or you too have a part in it and remind you often, like a newly found white hair among the black ones on your head. You tend to pluck that out and just like the fact that plucking one white hair will not stop many of them coming, you end up being vulnerable, finding fault at others for no reason of theirs and yelling at yourself. Then one fine day, you just realize that you cannot be filled with heaps of bitterness, as it also derails you.

If only you blinked first and tried making amends, things would have been so totally different. Yes, there is a scratch in that glass jar, but its better that breaking it apiece. Nobody is right at all times and each of us need to be forgiven for a few of our flaws. When that occasion comes where you two just fix the whole thing, you end up wondering why this has to wait for this long time! You are a bit more closer and etch this in memory, that all it takes is just an apology when required and a degree of earnestness that is felt at both sides. However if you don't have that inclination or just don't reciprocate when the other thaws out - Beware! No matter how much you say or do later, what all it ever takes [at times your everything] will never be able to mend.

You will only be having shards of glass to carry on forever, with respect to that relationship!

 

Thanks GeetaKashyap, for your like and appreciation to this post. Happy to receive a first from you. -rgs

 

You are right @messedup. Sometimes we end up hurting others / self just because of this reason. But it takes a lot of maturity to give a breathing space too. -rgs