Need Your Input

If he is not going for counseling or change, divorce is better.
He has to pay child support .
Hope he has some decency to not tell about her past to kids

 

If she would have told him the first week, could he have forgiven her? Hell no!

See, this is the reason why she didnt tell before. Why cant a man understand how another man took advantage?

And where is that bastard who raped her? I am sure.. living peacefully and happily!

At 35, i dont have guts to tell my husband if any one harasses me or brushes my breasts in a bus. At the end its the fault of female for wearing that kind of dress, or those cues or not blasting the bastard! Husbands just sit back and point fingers for the inability of the female to reject/oppose the rapist. They will not take action to confront the rapist either... so, whats the difference then?

 

This is the problem with Indian men. If they have EMA, wives most of the time forgives them and gives second chances. But if wives do the same, no husband can bear it nor forgive wife.

In her case, she was sexually abused without her fault that too before marriage.
If the husband is speaking so vulgarly to his own wife for no fault of hers except for hiding it...then better to separate and be good parents in bringingup their children dignified way than to stay together n let children see their father using vulgar words n doubting their mother's character.

 

Op it looks like fate has chosen a very hard path for your friend and she has to gather every bit of courage she can to walk on this path. I believe if her husband is ready to provide child support she should seprate from this person. At this point she should only work on deap healing for herself at all levels physical, mental and emotional. Once she has healed to some extent only thn she will be to deal with the situations which come up. once she is healed she will have all the courage to face the world. She should not worry about what world will say. People and situations only scare us when they know we will run away or hide our face. I know all this is easier said the done. She should try to contact some NGOs which can help her or guide her and provide her some counselling and therapy. Her children will be proud of their mother once she faces all this with a courage but if she is always hiding her face they will grow up with low self esteem. Even though it's been many years now but that relative should not be spared. I believe we really have to show courage when it's very hard to be brave.

 

All my prayers with your friend. Poor girl .
Please make her understand that she is not at all guilty. Just imagine a 13 year old girl, without a mother -Whom will she talk to about this?
Her husband needs immediate counselling to make him aware that his wife is not at fault. he has to be made aware of the future of his daughters as well. Just imagine the state of mind of the Kids when they know about all this.

 

Just ask him to SHUT UP. Clean wife, Dirty wife.. what kind of language and thinking it is? I am just not able to stand these words. Ask her to first go to counselling and gain some confidence. He is under guilt and blaming herself for the whole thing. Why is she wanting to leave the home silently? For kids? Will be stay unmarried to raise kids if she leaves? If not, what is the guarantee that step mother will treat them well? While it turned out like a marital issue and she and her husband are fighting, that bastard is living his life out there. What kind of justice is it?

 

Can't she move out before the parents arrive? I don't see the point of prolonging the separation process just because his parents are coming to stay. They can still separate and file for divorce later, I don't think your friend should complicate her life further by staying with her husband longer than she needs to.