Not Sure If I Am Wrong Or Right! Pls Shar Ur Inputs

You are thinking too much.

Doesn't look like she created any problems between you and your husband.

If she wants to create problems ,she can do it without having toclose doors.

If she is good to you,don't go looking for problems.

Like you wrote,it is possible it was about the fil.
Even if they were talking about you,it is not a problem. If she is uncomfortable about something ,then it is better it comes from your husband .

You seem to have a good mil..

 

The whole incident looks harmless. Dont worry.

 

Let it go..maybe they are discussing something that they don't want your FIL to hear..or some kind of family related gossips about relatives , or some other personal matters that don't concern u or u don't need to know..
Generally don't women also talk privately with their moms and discuss their daily goings on at home and personal problems..
As long as your MIL isn't talking some wrong stuff about you and unnecessarily brainwashing your husband and crating misunderstandings between u and your DH nothing to worry about.

 

Leave well enough alone. As long as the mother-son conversations do not affect you it should not bother you. They have a lifetime of bonding and it will take time for you to break into the inner circle, especially when you stay far apart. When my parents visit we will gossip endlessly about relatives and old stories that my husband doesn't know and doesn't care to know.
Your MIL will look on you more kindly and will be more secure in her position in the new household if she knows that she can still freely speak with her son. Your husband will also appreciate you for this. This will benefit you immensely in the long run. And if your FIL behaves like this it is hard to blame others for sneaking around him.
The only time you should interfere is if they are making decisions about your home or your child, where your opinion is also necessary.

 

Hi Dear,

It's important for mother and son to have some personal time/private conversations sometimes - sharing based on my personal experience. When my mother stays with my brother's family she misses having private conversations with her son now and then. The relationship with the DIL is very good - but sometimes there are things she feels only her son will be able to understand. They are very closely knit - but she misses those talks she would have with my brother when he would visit our home and would take Amma out for a walk in the neighborhood and they could share the little happenings in their lives. As a DIL myself, I can understand how you would feel - like you are not being accepted 100% as part of your new family.

Here is how I try to cope with it. My son is just 18 months old - but how I play with him, coochy-coo with him or just go bonkers trying to entertain him - I really need some alone-time with him everyday - I don't like to have all my amma-baby-time in the living room with parents-in-law watching over me. So I take him for a short walk to the park to have some bonding time alone.

Do not worry at all and allow mil and husband to have some opportunities to bond by themselves. Your husband will be happier and that means he can give more to the happiness of your relationship. He will also value the time you would want to spend with your own mother.

 

My DH and MIL do this too, they'll either go out or have a conversation when I'm not in the room. It used to bother me a lot, but since I've started focusing on myself and my self esteem, I've come to realize that I don't really care and even if it is something that affects me, then I'll deal with it when it happens.

As an example, my MIL is a huge believer in holy men and is constantly trying to get me to take my daughter to see some baba or other for her allergies. She wouldn't talk to me directly, she'd discuss with my DH, convince him and then call me and try to convince me and get my DH to talk to me at the same time. In the past I'd do as I was told but in the past year or so, I've just been putting my foot down and saying, 'No, I don't trust them and I am not taking my daughter to anyone who is not a certified doctor'. She usually doesn't press the issue directly and DH knows not to try and get me to do something I don't want.

It's annoying but I've never called them out on it. I didn't come into the picture for almost 30 years or so after my husband was born, so I know I can never compete with MIL, so I've just left them to it and live my life the way I want anyway.