Love & Serve

Thyagarajan · Jul 15, 2018

Agatha83 said: ↑

Dear Viswa,

Enjoyed your narration thoroughly and after a long time you have veered away from your Asal agmark spiritual threads. Nice to see you belonging to the special category of men who could speak proudly of their bh’s good deeds.
Except for our ‘Punnagai Arasi’ of Tamil movies KR Vijaya, I don’t think anyone in Chennai could sport a big welcome smile in public! Of course I see a lot of people smiling to themselves in public and it takes some time for me to see those tiny earphones and a smartphone, the reason behind their smile. I had a friend in my college who had protruding teeth, for which a nick name was given to her secretly! ’Palli’!
Agatha83
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most hilarious response and I enjoyed reading it.
Someone has listed and described smiles of 16 categories in the link below:
a list of sixteen types of smiles.

The Love Smile. This is the one reserved for someone you love. ...

The Old Friend Smile. You're meeting someone you haven't seen for a long time. ...

The Fake Smile. ...

The Smug Smile. ...

The Passive Aggressive Smile. ...

The Reminiscent Smile. ...

The Face Ache. ...

The Little Smile.

More items...
16 Different Kinds Of Smiles And What They Mean | Thought Catalog
Thought Catalog › 2016/01 › 1...

Thanks and regards.

Viswamitra · Jul 15, 2018

Agatha83 said: ↑

Dear Viswa,

Enjoyed your narration thoroughly and after a long time you have veered away from your Asal agmark spiritual threads. Nice to see you belonging to the special category of men who could speak proudly of their bh’s good deeds.
Except for our ‘Punnagai Arasi’ of Tamil movies KR Vijaya, I don’t think anyone in Chennai could sport a big welcome smile in public! Of course I see a lot of people smiling to themselves in public and it takes some time for me to see those tiny earphones and a smartphone, the reason behind their smile. I had a friend in my college who had protruding teeth, for which a nick name was given to her secretly! ’Palli’!

Agatha83
Click to expand...

Thank you @Agatha83 for your response. It is very common for men in the US to give full credit for their excellent family life and well-being to the spouse. Therefore, I am no special. America can't be viewed with a prism of President Trump as he speaks derogatory manner about women in general, had made the Queen wait for him, walked in front of the Queen during the Guard of Honor and so on whereas President Obama always spoke very proudly about his spouse and always was very respectful to other women during his Presidency.

I have worked for a long period of time in India (until 1995) in different cities including Chennai, Trivandrum, Pune, Mumbai and Bangalore in that order and never in any occasion, I was blamed for smiling at women colleagues. In fact, they have privately shared during my departure from the company that it was my smile that made them greet me everyday and not my positions. I would be happy to take any nickname rather than dropping my smile. More than making a wonderful day to the recipient of the smile, it gives me better state of mind.

Viswa

GeetaKashyap · Jul 15, 2018

Cheeniya said: ↑

Do I appear a disgruntled man @GeetaKashyap ?
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@Cheeniya Sir,

No, Sir, you don't sound or appear disgruntled...your's are the words of wisdom! I could perceive your smile and enjoyment as you wrote the above response. A smile along with the right body language will always be received well by women according to me. Maybe some people carry deep mistrust and find it hard to give or receive smiles. Let us frown at them, they may feel more secure!

Adharv · Jul 15, 2018

Well said sir.
Coinciding!! I did think about this yesterday. I do agree with the "Love and Serve" concept. After reading your article a lot of thoughts cropped in and also I did read the FBs of fellow readers and now I feel little blank

I doubt if we can really understand the mood of our fellow beings all the time and instantly change our mood accordingly. No remote control, so practically impossible!! Also maintaining a stable good mood will be good for all of them around us. Isn't it? Good for our health too.

The incidents which you mentioned are the best examples. I used to travel via public transport. The bus drivers and conductors sometimes show their frustrations irrespective of whose ever fault it is. we don't expect them to love and serve but at least they can control themselves. Passengers mood also swings by this and indirectly we end up showing our angr at work and home Again get blasting's at home as well for losing our temper.

I am little people friendly but not all the time. Cheenaiya sir mentioned about his staff's comment which is little opposite in my case. My team would take me for granted all the time and keep dumping work sometimes we can change our attitudes but not easy as I say!

We are not going to smile at all of them, doing so people might think "nut kazhandudichi" (gone mad) but When approach people greeting them with smile is a positivity. If people don't like it let them be neutral. Simple!! But we got to adjust as required for wellbeing of all, at times.

Good one sir. Thank you!

jayasala42 · Jul 15, 2018

Notwithstanding the call for empowerment of women,Chennai does not seem to have changed much.Even today smiling is taken for flirting,not smiling is taken as 'Ummanaa moonji"(sober faced).You are blamed for smiling and not smiling and at times we get confused as to what to do.Psychology texts speak of hundreds of varieties of smiles and significance of each smile.If we want to bring to our memory all those interpretations when we have to respond to a smile immediately,we will be branded'some thing wrong'.Is it not better to talk a few words in stead of smiling?

Jayasala 42

Viswamitra · Jul 15, 2018

@Adharv,

Thank you for your response. As you rightly pointed out, it is impossible to study the mindset of each person we come across in life. We need to put our best foot forward and hope for the best. Everyone who disagreed about smiling first here also took enough care to write their opposing view politely and diplomatically to ensure no one's feelings are hurt.

My view is, we have the right to pursue happiness and unfortunately, we can't enjoy that happiness in isolation. We need to reach out to people around us with a smile to listen and share. Among all types of communication, the communication with the sense of humor is received well for a reason. The smile in the face communicates our mindset and brings not only happiness to others but also to ourselves.

There are different people with different mindset around us always. Some would consider a smiling love and service as an intent to get benefited later while others may take advantage by dumping more work to a person who love and serve with a smile in the face. The most important part is the confidence it gives us to handle situations with care and diligence and speak in a measured fashion. We won't be able to smile and simultaneously deliver a rude comment.

I happened to read a piece of article about Rajnikanth's prior life before he became a superstar. Many noticed him for his style as a conductor. When he was asked the reason for him to be different from other conductors who were performing their job routinely, he responded, "the style he showed is not to make others notice him but because he enjoyed what he was doing". This attitude made him very successful in his life later as well.

Needless to say, the circumstances have to be appropriate to smile. For example, we can't walk into a house and smile when the purpose is to deliver condolences for the death of a family member.

Viswa

Adharv · Jul 15, 2018

Well said sir. Exactly the circumstance is what takes the call and yes, happiness can't be enjoyed in isolation.

Thank you for your reply.

Thyagarajan · Jul 16, 2018

Adharv said: ↑

Well said sir.
Coinciding!! I did think about this yesterday. I do agree with the "Love and Serve" concept. After reading your article a lot of thoughts cropped in and also I did read the FBs of fellow readers and now I feel little blank

I doubt if we can really understand the mood of our fellow beings all the time and instantly change our mood accordingly. No remote control, so practically impossible!! Also maintaining a stable good mood will be good for all of them around us. Isn't it? Good for our health too.

The incidents which you mentioned are the best examples. I used to travel via public transport. The bus drivers and conductors sometimes show their frustrations irrespective of whose ever fault it is. we don't expect them to love and serve but at least they can control themselves. Passengers mood also swings by this and indirectly we end up showing our angr at work and home Again get blasting's at home as well for losing our temper.

I am little people friendly but not all the time. Cheenaiya sir mentioned about his staff's comment which is little opposite in my case. My team would take me for granted all the time and keep dumping work sometimes we can change our attitudes but not easy as I say!

We are not going to smile at all of them, doing so people might think "nut kazhandudichi" (gone mad) but When approach people greeting them with smile is a positivity. If people don't like it let them be neutral. Simple!! But we got to adjust as required for wellbeing of all, at times.

Good one sir. Thank you!
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reading the phrase "nattu khanndiduchu" gave me delectable joy as I find many behind us utter this in CHENNAI
And in Hindi its equivalent is dhimakk ooulta phirtha hai.
2. Marvelled at your remarkable patience on LENGTHY DETAIL responding to OP.
Thanks &Regards.
GOD BLESS US as respondents too.

Adharv · Jul 16, 2018

Thank you Sir.

After reading this article of viswamitra sir I was little curious to know your views too

Point 4 was perfect!! Agreed. Point 6 is resting I guess Mr Muthu's reaction is not justifiable but we can let go.

I felt your point 7 was little irrelevant (sorry sir) I know you won't take me wrong so I take the liberty to express my view. Later I was little blank thinking if I interpreted the article differently? then I read the couple more FBs to reassure

My only thought about the article at first go was being friendly and approachable at any given situation. Basic mannerism and also gives a soothing atmosphere whatever state of mind the other person is.

When I had to leave home for the first time I was little scared and worried..that was the first time staying away from my parents. My dad was not interested neither I but still I didn't want to miss the opportunity. Finally I set my mind and decided to cross the 7 oceans I started my journey with fear. Believe me, I never felt I am midst of unknown faces, unknown culture away from my family...I enjoyed a lot. I never feared to leave office in the midnights. Travelling alone. Hatsoff to their love and friendly approach. all my fears stayed away and this remained as unforgettable journey of my life so far. I might sound irrelevant but this is where my thought stopped reading the article. I am unknown to them but right from the cab driver, room service, helpdesk, shops everyone were approachable... I was able to give complete attention to my work.

Vishwamitra sir would have mentioned about the
"circumstance" I felt if he had mentioned this in his article we all would have remained more or less on the same grounds. Chennai vaasi's will not have any special mention and also your point 7.

Thank you.

Viswamitra · Jul 16, 2018

Vishwamitra sir would have mentioned about the
"circumstance" I felt if he had mentioned this in his article we all would have remained more or less on the same grounds.
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I assumed that is a given and hence I didn't mention that. Moreover, my entire snippet was focused on people who I never met.

Even if a physician works for mental hospital, obviously, he/she is not communicating with those who come for treatment but with his/her kith and kin and hence need to provide a smiling service to win the confidence of the patients' relatives. If the physician is moron-faced, the relatives will be very worried what would happen to those in-house patients. They will assume all of them will be given shock treatment everyday.

Knowingly or unknowingly, body language plays a prominent role in our day to day life. People also read what is not communicated verbally. That is why saying a greeting, shaking hands, patting on the back, hugging in emotional get together or a meeting after a long time, smiling at a neighbor, etc. have profound impacts.

Viswa