Regarding Bro In Law And His Wife's Insane Behaviour

mimi77 · May 19, 2018

No my PILs keep tolerating their nonsense and are very defensive about them..... The BIL and his wife often accuse the PIL of better educating their younger son (my husband)......My in-laws have always belittled my husband's professional achievements and now we have almost stopped sharing our successes with them.... MIL has not been very kind with us too when my daughter was very small and had shown her bad side too..... Not sure whether she did it intentionally or under influence..... But now that she has become old and is facing this behaviour from her elder son and his family, it feels bad because I have seen how much she has done for them..... Hence life has not been fair with her... .you get hurt from people for whom you do a lot .....

rachaputi · May 19, 2018

mimi77Gold IL'ite
No my PILs keep tolerating their nonsense and are very defensive about them.....

Seems PILS are ok with their treatment.. Better to be silent until they come up themselves regarding issues.

paru123 · May 19, 2018

What kind of work are they making pils to do for them. For people above 60 if it's not very taxing on their health, its better to be doing small works like cooking or buying things from groceries. They will have body movements and won't be bored of , and will remain more healthy if they are engaged in something.

Sometimes people who don't do any work and sit idle have more health problems.

Sangeeta85 · May 19, 2018

mimi77 said: ↑

No my PILs keep tolerating their nonsense and are very defensive about them..... The BIL and his wife often accuse the PIL of better educating their younger son (my husband)......My in-laws have always belittled my husband's professional achievements and now we have almost stopped sharing our successes with them.... MIL has not been very kind with us too when my daughter was very small and had shown her bad side too..... Not sure whether she did it intentionally or under influence..... But now that she has become old and is facing this behaviour from her elder son and his family, it feels bad because I have seen how much she has done for them..... Hence life has not been fair with her... .you get hurt from people for whom you do a lot .....
Click to expand...

Have you tried to get your mil at your place ..

Arusree · May 19, 2018

If they are defending your BIL and co sister, do you think your intervention will be fruitful? They seem to be knowing what they are doing. You can involve in this if they raise any issues or complaints.

DDream · May 20, 2018

Did you ever ask your PILs about it. It is better if your husband talk to them as they are his parents. As long as they don't have an issue, it is better not to interfere in their issues . If you are worried, request your dh to talk to them and make arrangements they prefer. The initiative and decision should come from them.

SGBV · May 21, 2018

In what ways your hands are tied in this case?

Your H- as a son can always interfere and act when he thinks his parents are abused.
He has all the rights in his father's home (regardless of who lives there), so he can witness what's happening around, and take actions including rescuing his parents away from such abuses.
You can always help him by being on his side.

What can your co-sis do if your PILs come out of the house for a day or two?
What can she do if your H and his other sister boldly advocate for their mom's wellness; hence restrict her from doing household chores singlehandedly.

In the worst case scenario, your BIL and co-sis will leave your FIL's house or make your elderly PIL leave their own home.
In that case, no one should be worried as the home is in FIL's name. So, you all can easily shut your BIL's mouth with that.
Whatsoever, these elderly PILs have a genuine DIL and a caring son. So what's the problem?