i have been talkative and silent on and off throughout my life. But for the past decade I had been too talkative and now want to reduce my talks. Though I like to talk others do not love to hear me out. How to stop talking in a group and not feel bad about it? I am trying different ways to keep myself busy or maintain a distance too. Internally it is bothersome.
Focus on listening more. Keep your lines short. Tell yourself that you will say only one sentence every 30 secs, a minute or two. If there's a person in the group who talks less, keep a focus on her/ him n that you will talk only when she talks. When you have a great desire to talk a lot but should not, pick up a fake call n walk away, sing a song to yourself for 30 seconds n come back. These are a few ways to stop you in the beginning, later on it will become a habit.
Start exercising the art of. Listening.. Set targets for yourself and reward if you achieve them.. Practice it at home with your family and friends neighborhood ... Slowly inculcate the habit and it will become part of your life . Practice never give up evrn if you fail to achieve desired results... You can do it...
Count 1-10 before you start responding . Also count 1-10 after a few sentences . Hopefully somebody else will start talking by then. Listen to lots of peaceful music to calm you down before a party or a gathering. No caffeinated drinks maybe ? Meditation is also a good way to calm yourself down.
I love to talk and I had this question in mind. I write diary every day. So many of my thoughts end up there. In a group I try to be more conscious and observe people. Learn some tips from others.
Thank you all @ashneys @Raffaello @Sandycandy @salad for your wonderful suggestions. Will pay attention to listening more. Thanks
I would love to have you as a friend in RL! If we're at a party together, come sit next to me and chatter away. I like talkative people. What makes you think this?
Thanks @Amica. Sorry I missed the notification for this. Sure would love to have you as a friend in real life. Why I say others do not love to hear me out is I can sense their disinterest in the conversation
I have worked on my listening skills and even have tried to limit my presence on social media. Now my next struggle is how not to blurt out all that comes to my mind. Any tips please? Thanks
Hazelpup, I am excessively talkative. But, I am also blithely reserved. You see the contrast. I talk only to people I connect with. How? Not everyone is talkative and not everyone is interested in the material I talk about. Which leads us to suspect: "am I liked by this person"/"others do not love to hear me out", for they seem to be very inhibited in their interaction with me. Is it "me" or is it "them" or is it the effect of the Oort cloud? First, that "unlove" is our hasty inference of their unmatched reciprocation. They are not natural talkers or they might not sustain prolonged enthusiasm over your excited harangue but we tend to give a sharp and deviant interpretation to their reticence. It is given that we consort with people who are like us because we feel wanted and desired, which is peremptory in a conversation, whilst being acclaimed is superfluous. Carry on your talk with kindred talkers who are like you, also effusive and gabby. Don't alienate incompatible disposition. If the other person is zoning out, and you sense that, then remind yourself: OK, I hold forth more than that person. That's it. Give them a break. Talkers normally constrict their excitement only to voice, which is boring. The trick is, talkative people should disperse their chatter into other forms ...writing and illustration and goofy limericks. The excitement is singularly channelized into the most natural form of upfront attention that is talk but once this expression is democratized into other passive forms, it is less ramming and forceful on the other person. Talk and write and splash colors and fan out your mental expressions. I had much difficulty with writing because I have always been a heady chatterbox. But I had been you in the past where I could only express in voice and not keyboard strikes. Spend time daily to acquire other forms of vivid expressions. Why other forms? That way, you would connect not only with gabbers but also scribblers and splashers, so forth. Expand your interaction of the underlying outflow by recasting in other isomorphic forms. Being an exasperatingly chatty person, where close mates threaten to gag me, I understand you.