Problem Regarding Husband's Ex Wife

The problem here is that 'she truly believes' what she told you, that she was trying to rekindle her marriage and that you came in between and spoiled it for her.

But looks like your husband has completely moved on and she's not able to move on - both for the same reason : the fault is hers.

You are already trying for the transfer - that's good. Try harder as you mentioned it's difficult. N it's a good way out for now, as seeing him everyday would stop her from moving on as well.

He wouldn't have married you if he wanted to get back with her. If he wanted only revenge, he could have had an affair as well instead of remarrying.

Trust your husband (until unless you have a reason not to) n focus on building your relationship in a strong way. Stop wasting your precious time talking n thinking only about her. She's already in your head, thus your life too. Stop it, don't give her the power.

She needs to get out of this unhealthy obsession that she has on your husband whom she still believes is tied to him n that this whole thing is just a big misunderstanding/ mistake n that she can chase you n take the wife's place.

Don't entertain her, don't talk to her, block her number on both your phones, never let her in your home or in your life, no matter how small.

 

Anyone in your position would feel in secured, tats totally understandable. You guys are newly married, there are lot of things you need to know about each other. You can negate all the troubles his ex-wife is causing by creating a very special bond with your husband. Make time for each other, go for long drives, take a vacation to a beautiful place. do crazy & cute stuffs and more importantly gain his trust. Since his ex-wife cheated him, it can take time for him to totally trust anyone but you make a difference. Show him your love for him is genuine but never over do it. Just like any new couple, dine out, meet friends and be interested in his likes. Sometimes talk through your eyes to him & smile & create special moments. That can help you concentrate on your relationship rather than worry about his ex-wife. Hope you find some peace deary.

 

Sorry you are in this situation . But you can't do much at the moment . I have realized one thing so far that being insecure is not attractive to any one. You have discussed this with your H . Now just believe what he said is true. And don't show him your insecurities.
Just ask him to not let that lady show up at your door again.Such an embarrassing thing for you. Tell him clearly that this is his problem how he cuts her off.You can also tell him to get a restriction order ( if there is such a thing in Indian law) against her.

 

your concerns are totally valid. i assume you are living in india. try to check legally if there is any restraining order as per indian law.

your feelings are also totally valid do not ignore them but be careful not to over react on them too like doubting your H. that woman has no right to enter your house, learn legal stuff or get help from relatives to make sure she cannot.

rest you are getting very good inputs here.

 

Valid concerns, just for her sake you b the don't lose your peace of kind and jump in to job hunting if you cant find good ones ...
Don't keep your past and present in one balance past is past never compare and fear of things ..

Take a break from. All just go for a short trip and spend some quality time with your husband... Be you two no more past.. Just take diversion from. This tension so that when you come back you bounce on her with great power and positivity.. So that she moves on from you .

 

the odds are completely on your side. have you ever heard of a man going back to his ex wife whom he voluntarily left after a second marriage. I haven't heard anything like that ever. she is obviously repenting losing a decent man and hence the desperation. you should laugh it off.

 

Dear OP, if you are also working and earning a decent amount of money:

1. Ask your H to put down his papers at his work. Make him your dependent financially and please support him until he finds a good job. So, do all the necessary finance backup before he puts his papers.
2. If possible move away from that place and find work in another city. You both need a fresh and new start.
3. Ask your in laws to contact that ex wife's parents (I believe they should have contact details) and make them aware of this disturbance so that parents could control her.
4. Lastly, approach women police station and complain about her. That's the last resort if you want to live in the same city.
But IMO, if I were in your place, I would force my husband to put his papers and move out of the college and I will support him financially if he really loves me. Good luck OP.

 

I’d ask him to change jobs but you said he’s asking for a transfer so he’s doing something. Hope he changes job quickly. I know you trust him but don’t think you can trust her. She’d probably want to reconcile with him yet have extras on the side. You know what I mean.