What Should I Do

Next time she asks you, let her know that you were chanting continuously and it worked out.

 

Glad u are feeling better after the vent. But here is something to think about. Is it possible that a lot of this is because of too many inconsistencies between ur story and ur hubby's? . Ur MIL is feeding off of ur own insecurities about the whole process . Hubby cries to his mother that u are not able to conceive because of him then u go through a secretive IVF process and drop vague hints to her about Ayurveda. When things don't add up it leads to speculations . Now u are afraid of being open about using frozen embryo. Decide with ur husband how much u want to share and keep it consistent and in general its best not to veer too far from the truth esp in these matters. Be proud of the journey u both have taken and talk to a therapist in case u feel some anger about being served the short end of the stick.

 

Op, why do you and how can you even blame medical field ?? Because of it only you and your hudband could have a baby. You should be thankful. There are so many couples spending all their money on treatments and yet not have a baby.

Yes, women have to suffer more in either case of female infertility or male infertility because the nature is made so. Men can just give their sperms. It is the woman who has to undergo all the pain n changes in her to nurture a life inside her.
Be blessed to have that power.

Coming to mil issue, never ever let inlaws or anyone to dare to ask such private questions to you.
If it was me in your place, i would be shocked as well but will reply "how can being a woman and mother can ask another woman like this?"
Or say "well, it's our private matter of how we conceive. Do you want in depth details of our bedroom life?"
Or 3rd option is to say "ah, i think your son will explain in detail as I'm quite shy!"

On a serious note, happily go for 2nd pregnancy and dont mention to ur mil of how it happened. She is not going to blame her son n give you a crown of Biwi no.1 even if you sacrifice your life for inlaws or ur dh.

 

Please, please explain. What kind of experiments?

And if this is true, why would you consider revealing the truth at this point?

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You guys really have to decide how much information you-as a family should share with others.
Your H tells his parents that he has problems and because of him you are facing fertility issues.
And suddenly one day, you are pregnant. It is obvious that your MIL is curious about your pregnancy.
It is important that you (or your H) must share the details of how you became pregnant. Because you have already shared some info with her in this regard.

With the next child, you decide what you wanna tell your people?
Are you going to tell them about the history of your treatment, and how your first child was born?
Are you going to tell them about the procedure you are planing to follow for the second child?
Are you going to listen and follow their opinions in this regard?
Are you sure that they are in a receptive mood to accept what you say?
Are you sure that your discussion will not backfire later on?
Discuss them with your H, and come to an agreement.

Besides, what exactly you wanna share with your MIL, knowing her experimental mode?

If she is talking shits, then you can give it back then and there, instead of giving while lies, and hints to add up to her curiosity.
The next time, if she asks something about your private matters, ask her to direct this question from her son & move on.

 

Hi,

If u ask me I would say don’t tell to anybody about ivf.they will ask for few yrs and if they get some other topic they will leave this.

If u tell now then what is the use of hiding it these many years..what ur husband will do because of his health condition..more than us I feel sad for mens( my husband also having same issue).just adjust ur in laws for ur love..sure ur husband will understand.

Try naturally for few years for 2nd baby and if it didn’t work just think at that time.because ur health is involved in this.
All the best.

 

Dont tell her otherwise she'll experiment on your babies somehow or make there life hell by telling them they werent concieved naturally. You dont need to tell her. Its none of her business. Its between you and your husband. Why are you giving her power to invade? Its exactly what she wanys. We had a similar problem and I told her we took medicine. Never ever tell her about IVF. Tell her we prayed alot and God must have accepted our prayers out of our sincereness as we prayed with a pure heart and pure intention (emphasis on the WE) and SMILE. That should shut her up. BECAUSE its non of her business. Shes just trying to find faults in you or trying to get u to say something bad about hubby so he turns on you.

 

At the end of the day, its you, your husband and kid/kids who are gonna make your family. I personally do not let my in-laws influence me over our family decisions. Of course they will definitely have opinions. Take it or leave them. Do whatever makes you happy and don't pressurize yourself. Its not healthy. From what you have mentioned, It looks like your MIL doesn't have very good understanding about IVF or infertility and stuff. So why bother to explain it to her? Even if she does know about the IVF or embryo freezing, is she actually going to think better about you or your husband and are things going to change drastically? If so, do tell. But if not, don't let things like this get to you. Its you and your husband's turn to build and raise a family now, however that may be. Hope u guys stay happy

 

Don’t let her interfere. She’ll treat her other grandchildren better because they were conceived naturally in her eyes and that makes them special. If u let her interfere in this she’ll interfere in everything else. Say no to the manipulation.