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Discussion in 'Married Life' started by soraj, Mar 13, 2018.

  1. soraj

    soraj Senior IL'ite

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    i know its bad setup n its done on my back when i m Not there... but i can only save my money by not contributing...

    i cant do much .. i have already shown my huge disagreement...i also think i cant trust My H as My family as its cheating with me as he considered his brother more important that his wife .. let it be. let them contribute and pay.. i cant do much now
     
  2. soraj

    soraj Senior IL'ite

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    thnx chocolate..

    H and Bil will jointly pay for HL of this 2 bhk.. i m Not sure if bil started contributing or not .. as with my anger i didnt asked H abt that house anything neither H told me anything ... will know everything in a weeks time...
     
  3. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

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    I am not surprised. Because this is more than normal in my H's family.
    There is an advisory committee , which guides its members on how best they should invest, how best they should share their properties and more importantly, how best they should do all this behind their wife's back.
    Yes, this advisory committee is called PILs.
    The members (sadly our husbands) will obey what their parents say, no matter what. They have been raised that way.

    No point of regretting this matter, as I see this is happening widely.

    This is time for you to act smart.

    Let them have this property on both of the siblings' name, and let them share the EMI as per whatever the agreed equations.
    At the end of the day, as a spouse you will have your rights and shares in your husband's property. Because he has earned this property after marriage only.
    So, don't overthink about your name in it for now.
    Find an excuse not to sign the loan agreement. If you have already signed, find a way to approach the bank to withdraw from your commitment.
    Play double game if possible with the support of your employer, so that you can get out from this loan commitment without major hiccup.
    Eg: Pay cut, demotion, or whatever. Play smart

    Find an alternate way to use up that agreed EMI money on some other investment on your/your children's name wisely.
    If you keep the money, they will plan smartly to make you spend on family needs. So that your H can bear major part of this flat's EMI by depending on your salary for the family's needs.
    So, commit with something else to show them that you have only so much to contribute for the family.
    This way, let the brothers share whatever they can for this property. If not, let them give up on this for now.
     
    iamsrihere, BhumiBabe and NeetaR like this.
  4. soraj

    soraj Senior IL'ite

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    thnx @SGBV

    even i was planning to do the same..

    but they play double or triple family game and take my money...

    and when i say some thing.. they don't remember or said or done such thing
     
  5. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    Op....the best option would have been for both brothers to buy seperate 1 bhk houses if that is what they could afford.

    How much is your loan commitment?
    Can you take another loan in your name ? Even a small one that will tie up your money.

    If so....take the loan and invest in your name ,a small flat or a piece of land . This way you will be paying emis for land in your name and won't have money free for their use. Give a fair share for household expenditure. Rest all,make long term investment.
    If you get bonus,buy gold and keep in your locker or buy long term policies. Invest monthly in retirement funds.

    Things will become more clear once his brother gets married. Till then ,you make seperate investments.
     
    NeetaR, shravs3 and nakshatra1 like this.
  6. nakshatra1

    nakshatra1 Platinum IL'ite

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    Don't feel scared- whatever you are investing in your name, it is for your husband and kids only. Tomorrow in emergency, trust me his siblings will not come to help- only wife and kids provide in old age.

    Whatever you are doing is for your husband and kids- so please invest in your name without falling for emotional blackmail/guilt trip.Be responsible, tomorrow your husband will appreciate when he faces reality.

    Till then be patient and do the right thing- follow everyone's advice on IL and start investing in your name, of-course after paying your FAIR share towards household expenses.

    One advice, please start investing soon - if you do this after they start asking you to take care of all household expenses due to EMI commitments, then if you suddenly start doing investments- it will look very bad.

    I really despise all greedy people like your BIL who love to live off others' hard earned money without any shame. Greed can destroy families. Can only blame parents for such upbringing. I wish all people will learn to live within their means instead of living off others.
     
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  7. soraj

    soraj Senior IL'ite

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    @yellowmango...
    emi amt is 90k approx.. both hv to pay 45 -45

    what u suggest shud i ask again H to include my name.. my mind is saying dont ask and dont give ... dont fall in thr trap agsin...
    i hv already gave big chunk of money in past .. when i said i gave u that much .. he said u gave with ur wish .. i didnt asked for.. but i gave as he was keep crying for his emi burden..
    i opened ssa for my baby.. will max out
    i hv ppf acct ... i will max out that too...
     
    NeetaR likes this.
  8. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    Op..90 k per month for a 2 bhk!!!
    That is huge unless you are living in mumbai.
    Can't advice on whether you should insist on your name being put.
    was the amount huge?
    If it was substantial amount ,then get your name put making it clear that you have done your bit andyou will not pay emis. Discuss with him that you want your name put and then the house will belong 2/3rd to you and your husband . If your share in not 1/3rd then once you are made ,1/3 owner ,you can pay the difference....but make sure you have your name with the 1/3rd ownership or you both with 2/3rd ownership ( this way he will feel you are working with him) on paper.

    But continue investing whatever is left in your name . Maxing ppf for now is a good idea till things become clearer .
     
    Last edited: Mar 20, 2018
  9. soraj

    soraj Senior IL'ite

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    yes.. its mumbai...
    its confusing for me too as they have already cheated me.. i don't want to fall in their trap again..
    what i was thinking .. say even if i pay 1/3rd of that amount.. n they sell it.. may be my H didnt give me my share.. he will keep to hinself that too . as he keep taking Money from me but never give me... as i m already earning but now staying at home for 6 months are making me thinking otherwise...
     
  10. Jas82688

    Jas82688 Silver IL'ite

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    @soraj, we too have some joint property where my husband n BIL contributed like 50-50%.. and it's two floors so we don't have to live under same roof ..my name is also not there in the property but it's our only since hubby name is there ..

    So why do you have to contribute anyhow it's on your husbands name so it will be yours too and sharing should be 50-50% your Bil has to contribute equal amount .. don't insist for your name as it is already not a good arrangent try to invest and save for kids if you have .. there are many saving policies we found in SBI looks very profitable for future find them commit to them .. if you commit any plan you have to contribute X amount yearly so your family can't take that x amount from you ..
     

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