Lady In My Apartments

SRK123 · Mar 10, 2018

Mangaii,
responding to your comments here..
generally the referral bonus is shared among the parents. If you want to maintain distance maybe time to return the referral bonus. Since you have been very laid back for getting payments from her for cab or other services maybe she took her own time to return the money for party. I think she doesn't have any evil thoughts about you. Just be supportive. Developing friendship and bond goes long way. Looks like you are economically and financially better than her. Maybe be supportive for her to get license. You never know when you need people in life.

I never saw people sharing referral bonus, she referred another girl and got her bonus too.. Why should i return bonus? I think you have no idea why people get their referral money.. Did you give away half of your referral money to others,oops!!

Regarding party expenses, i have no problem if she returns the money next year.. But she told everyone that she paid for it and collected money from everyone which is total cheap thing to do. Hope you got it now. She doesnt have evil thoughts for sure.. I never said that.. Again, dont judge me that i am financially better than her.. I am as middle class as her if not lower haha.. U dont know me but you love judging dont you? You are asking me to be supportive to get her license..Why? There are so many people who dont have licenses and its not my job to support anyone.. Specially not the lady who is mean to me.. Who supported me when i didnt have a license? Also, I dont do friendship because i need something, i can be a good friend to a good person who i like. And I have so many of them in my life.. Dont have to run behind each and everyone.

mangaii said: ↑

OP in your own words specimens like her will exist in every apartment . So please think before applying this advice.
Click to expand...

Im not gonna change my apartment lol.. As I said, i made some great friends here and people respect me for who i am.. She is the only one who disturbed me.. And she does this to a lot of people.. I only posted here as i thought of venting out so i can feel fresh.. Thanks for your concern though..

OP is presenting her side of story. I'm sure the other women has different story to tell. If I was not aware of referral bonus and I'm scared other parent would ask me more help from me I would give the money to them. It makes life easier. No women would dare walk into someone house and call that person as stupid unless she feels she has been wronged somewhere. I still feel there is more to this preschool joining and getting out than what OP presents here. Doesn't preschool have minimum period before you can withdraw ? Either you maintain friendship or don't share anything. Instead OP wants some benefits and then cut her off .

Is there a way you can tell whether i am being honest or not? NO right? So stop judging for your own sake.. Its too negative,not good for your health.. Your theory about returning the referral benefit and how you support this lady calling me stupid makes me laugh.. By the way, who would waste time telling lies in an anonymous forum what will one get out of this? You are supposed to advice people based on what they said in the Original post, not do too much guesswork and start fulfilling your childhood dream of becoming a judge..

But Thank you.. You stimulated me enough to get out of my feeling haha.

SRK123 · Mar 10, 2018

All the ladies, Thanks for taking time to listen.. I know its just a small thing which happened, but wanted to get out of it soon before it wastes my weekend time..Now i am out of it..
Have a happy weekend ladies !!

Sangeeta85 · Mar 10, 2018

SRK123 said: ↑

All the ladies, Thanks for taking time to listen.. I know its just a small thing which happened, but wanted to get out of it soon before it wastes my weekend time..Now i am out of it..
Have a happy weekend ladies !!
Click to expand...

Good for you.. have a great weekend!!

Vedhavalli · Mar 10, 2018

Omg !!!! Such a lady. I too have 2-3 of them in my community.
Who watch others parking lot, who watch every move , who figure what new furniture we bought, what we did in Thanksgiving, vacations, weekends, the list is endless I say.
You can see my threads, phew I'm totally done with these kind.
Sailing a similar boat, my kid go to preschool, this year I extended the timings and people want free rides. I'm okay with dropping back n picking. They want me to fix thier Kid's carseat for the whole week. After 2 months I said pls look out for options, because they would SUDDENLY remember things to buy from Walmart...go to ATM.
This particular lady, came asked how many mistakes I did in behind the wheel test, I said I don't remember.she said "oh the max is think it must be 3". I searched all my documents, found I made 0 mistakes showed her after 3 days. Some people keep judging others. She even asked if I drive in free ways. She too got her license in 2nd attempt, but fumes as her husband never allows her to drive. Daily almost daily she will some question or other.. I'm done.i give one word reply. No use, they call. But I don't let them in my house, I open the door stand in door way. Clearly will say I'm cooking, vacuuming, though Im free. So we meet in clubhouse or potluck.
Try to keep min contact. I learnt this lesson hardway.

ranju5 · Mar 14, 2018

SRK123 said: ↑

hi friends,
i am just venting out for the sake of my sanity..
So this is what happened - this lady B who lives in my community, has never been a great friend of mine(for so many reasons).. but my son and her daughter and couple of other kids are in the preschool age.. I was actively looking for a good preschool for him, i was always touring the schools, talking to parents, reading reviews etc.. She always kept on following up about preschool whenever i see her at playground or clubhouse.. So one day, i liked a preschool and was excited about it and while i was walking from the parking lot, she was right there!! So naturally, i told her that i liked so and so preschool and im gonna put my son there.. So she said that, i will also put my daughter in the same preschool.. i was ok with that, and i joined him right away, she joined after two months..

Another thing is that most of us (me, this lady and some other ladies who have same age kids)didnt have a driving license.. I started working on my driving license, and for me i decided that i will put my son in school right away and wont wait for my license as my husband is mostly working from home at that time, sometimes i will take a cab to the preschool.. i was ok with that..

She was always following up on my driving practice.. it looked like she was waiting for my license so that she can join her daughter hoping that i will give them rides to school pick and drop.. I was ok with dropping them.. but i never promised anything to her.. I also told her once politely that if she tries and gets her own license its good for her as it will help her in many other things.. also i told her i can drop and pick her to preschool when im driving anyway i have no issues.. she even asked me to write her online driving written test for her - i rejected politely as im against this.. i told her that it wont help you if i am writing your exam.. she felt bad for that but i couldnt do much about it..

also she was always following up about my driving test - she also told me that there are some people who can finish driving in one month - i told her that i will do it in my pace.. she got offended again.. i started hating her attitude.. because its always very obvious what she is thinking in her mind and she thinks i wont understand.. and its looking cheap as well..

In between all this she joined her daughter after two months because its getting difficult for her to handle her at home.. i got some referral benefit into my childs account for referring her at school.. she thought i referred the preschool to her because of this money.. which is not true..i honestly didnt know this benefit exists.. i never once asked her to join the school, i was being very cautious here - i told her that i liked the school for my son and then she wanted to join , i never even followed up to know if she is joining ? she always thought that i am very sensible person and i can take right decisions for my kids etc.. i never claimed that though..

now since my license is still not here, she also came with me in cabs and we shared the money between each other .. i had to always remind her to book the cab whenever its her turn.. that was also frustrating.. it went like this for another month. and most of the cab money was given by me.. i just left it and moved on.. In the meantime another lady joined ..

finally my license came within total 3 months.. In this three month period, I didnt like the preschool so much as i realized it was not a right fit for him.. one day we decide to pull him out of school and then we did, after i pulled him out - i got my license the same week..

now she felt cheated.. she was hoping n waiting for my license and now she has nobody to drop/pick her.. but i can see feel her frustration but i also know its not my fault as im not the one responsible for that..

after i decided to pull him out, i made a call to her and let her know that i pulled my son out as i felt its not a right fit for him.. she said indirectly that - i was not good at picking preschool and unnecessarily she followed my instincts and put her daughter in the same preschool .. i told her that its not my decision to put her daughter in that school and i never pressured her to put her there. Infact, i always told her to look carefully tour the school talk to the teachers and decide, but she didnt put that effort also.. also, no matter how smart you are, or how much research you do sometimes you end up in a wrong place, and that can happen to anyone.. I didnt like the way she spoke to me and i have reduced contacts with her after that and she kept calling me everyday asking me to drop her here and there, i didnt want to do that and i made excuses..

She came yesterday to my home uninvited, and started enquiring how my driving is going on , and now since i started driving, am i going to places with him? etc.. she was hoping that i can take her and her daughter wherever i go with him.. Obviously i dont want to, so i made excuses to her, its very clear to her now that im not of any use for her.. she made an evil face and told me that - put your son in this another preschool, where a lady S has joined her daughter.. Since lady S is very smart, she is very sorted out, she can take good decisions, so i am sure that new preschool is good.. I told her that i can do my research and look into that school also and thanks for suggestion.. Then she said - "she is not a STUPID who decides preschool based on school tours/parent reviews/online reviews", she is very sensible - now atleast make a good decision this time.. I was shocked to hear that.. I gave some back answers to her but not effective ones as i was in shock ) I told her to leave - indirectly i told my son that they are leaving.. she felt bad and left..

Another incident is - 3 weeks back there was a bbq party in our apartment for which i got allthe supplies and paid for them(we all share the cost and i get the money back from girls).. but didnt claim the money from them for 2 weeks as everyone at my home was sick and i was busy with that.. and then 3 days back, i messaged int he group about it, then everyone in the group told me that B told them that she paid for the party and collected money from everyone.. I was shocked, she read all that conversation and called me and said - sorry i forgot to tell u that, i will give you money back.. Now what does that mean? Its not about money, but i hated her attitude..

I decided to cut her off completely. But dont know why i can still feel the negativity.. Also i feel that i should have given it back to her - my ego is hurt when she called me stupid.
You may correct me if you feel im wrong anywhere.

Sorry for such a detailed long vent.. Thanks for being patient..
Click to expand...

ranju5 · Mar 14, 2018

Vedhavalli said: ↑

Omg !!!! Such a lady. I too have 2-3 of them in my community.
Who watch others parking lot, who watch every move , who figure what new furniture we bought, what we did in Thanksgiving, vacations, weekends, the list is endless I say.
You can see my threads, phew I'm totally done with these kind.
Sailing a similar boat, my kid go to preschool, this year I extended the timings and people want free rides. I'm okay with dropping back n picking. They want me to fix thier Kid's carseat for the whole week. After 2 months I said pls look out for options, because they would SUDDENLY remember things to buy from Walmart...go to ATM.
This particular lady, came asked how many mistakes I did in behind the wheel test, I said I don't remember.she said "oh the max is think it must be 3". I searched all my documents, found I made 0 mistakes showed her after 3 days. Some people keep judging others. She even asked if I drive in free ways. She too got her license in 2nd attempt, but fumes as her husband never allows her to drive. Daily almost daily she will some question or other.. I'm done.i give one word reply. No use, they call. But I don't let them in my house, I open the door stand in door way. Clearly will say I'm cooking, vacuuming, though Im free. So we meet in clubhouse or potluck.
Try to keep min contact. I learnt this lesson hardway.
Click to expand...

SRK123 said: ↑

hi friends,
i am just venting out for the sake of my sanity..
So this is what happened - this lady B who lives in my community, has never been a great friend of mine(for so many reasons).. but my son and her daughter and couple of other kids are in the preschool age.. I was actively looking for a good preschool for him, i was always touring the schools, talking to parents, reading reviews etc.. She always kept on following up about preschool whenever i see her at playground or clubhouse.. So one day, i liked a preschool and was excited about it and while i was walking from the parking lot, she was right there!! So naturally, i told her that i liked so and so preschool and im gonna put my son there.. So she said that, i will also put my daughter in the same preschool.. i was ok with that, and i joined him right away, she joined after two months..

Another thing is that most of us (me, this lady and some other ladies who have same age kids)didnt have a driving license.. I started working on my driving license, and for me i decided that i will put my son in school right away and wont wait for my license as my husband is mostly working from home at that time, sometimes i will take a cab to the preschool.. i was ok with that..

She was always following up on my driving practice.. it looked like she was waiting for my license so that she can join her daughter hoping that i will give them rides to school pick and drop.. I was ok with dropping them.. but i never promised anything to her.. I also told her once politely that if she tries and gets her own license its good for her as it will help her in many other things.. also i told her i can drop and pick her to preschool when im driving anyway i have no issues.. she even asked me to write her online driving written test for her - i rejected politely as im against this.. i told her that it wont help you if i am writing your exam.. she felt bad for that but i couldnt do much about it..

also she was always following up about my driving test - she also told me that there are some people who can finish driving in one month - i told her that i will do it in my pace.. she got offended again.. i started hating her attitude.. because its always very obvious what she is thinking in her mind and she thinks i wont understand.. and its looking cheap as well..

In between all this she joined her daughter after two months because its getting difficult for her to handle her at home.. i got some referral benefit into my childs account for referring her at school.. she thought i referred the preschool to her because of this money.. which is not true..i honestly didnt know this benefit exists.. i never once asked her to join the school, i was being very cautious here - i told her that i liked the school for my son and then she wanted to join , i never even followed up to know if she is joining ? she always thought that i am very sensible person and i can take right decisions for my kids etc.. i never claimed that though..

now since my license is still not here, she also came with me in cabs and we shared the money between each other .. i had to always remind her to book the cab whenever its her turn.. that was also frustrating.. it went like this for another month. and most of the cab money was given by me.. i just left it and moved on.. In the meantime another lady joined ..

finally my license came within total 3 months.. In this three month period, I didnt like the preschool so much as i realized it was not a right fit for him.. one day we decide to pull him out of school and then we did, after i pulled him out - i got my license the same week..

now she felt cheated.. she was hoping n waiting for my license and now she has nobody to drop/pick her.. but i can see feel her frustration but i also know its not my fault as im not the one responsible for that..

after i decided to pull him out, i made a call to her and let her know that i pulled my son out as i felt its not a right fit for him.. she said indirectly that - i was not good at picking preschool and unnecessarily she followed my instincts and put her daughter in the same preschool .. i told her that its not my decision to put her daughter in that school and i never pressured her to put her there. Infact, i always told her to look carefully tour the school talk to the teachers and decide, but she didnt put that effort also.. also, no matter how smart you are, or how much research you do sometimes you end up in a wrong place, and that can happen to anyone.. I didnt like the way she spoke to me and i have reduced contacts with her after that and she kept calling me everyday asking me to drop her here and there, i didnt want to do that and i made excuses..

She came yesterday to my home uninvited, and started enquiring how my driving is going on , and now since i started driving, am i going to places with him? etc.. she was hoping that i can take her and her daughter wherever i go with him.. Obviously i dont want to, so i made excuses to her, its very clear to her now that im not of any use for her.. she made an evil face and told me that - put your son in this another preschool, where a lady S has joined her daughter.. Since lady S is very smart, she is very sorted out, she can take good decisions, so i am sure that new preschool is good.. I told her that i can do my research and look into that school also and thanks for suggestion.. Then she said - "she is not a STUPID who decides preschool based on school tours/parent reviews/online reviews", she is very sensible - now atleast make a good decision this time.. I was shocked to hear that.. I gave some back answers to her but not effective ones as i was in shock ) I told her to leave - indirectly i told my son that they are leaving.. she felt bad and left..

Another incident is - 3 weeks back there was a bbq party in our apartment for which i got allthe supplies and paid for them(we all share the cost and i get the money back from girls).. but didnt claim the money from them for 2 weeks as everyone at my home was sick and i was busy with that.. and then 3 days back, i messaged int he group about it, then everyone in the group told me that B told them that she paid for the party and collected money from everyone.. I was shocked, she read all that conversation and called me and said - sorry i forgot to tell u that, i will give you money back.. Now what does that mean? Its not about money, but i hated her attitude..

I decided to cut her off completely. But dont know why i can still feel the negativity.. Also i feel that i should have given it back to her - my ego is hurt when she called me stupid.
You may correct me if you feel im wrong anywhere.

Sorry for such a detailed long vent.. Thanks for being patient..
Click to expand...

Hey it is very good to have a good vent. You do realise that your neighbour is feeling stupid and frustrated that she cant do all the things you can do so she is projecting all this onto you to make you feel bad. IGNORE her. and it does not matter how long you take to get your driving licence, because at the end of the day it does not matter since you will be able to do much more than just dropping and collecting your children from school. Guess who will have the last laugh: YOU so dont let her bother you!!!

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Lady In My Apartments

SRK123 Silver IL'ite

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ranju5 Silver IL'ite

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