Why are some people naturally happier?

smile whn u r in trouble it wil vanish like a bubble is my motto
but the smile looks sweet and wholehearted whn it comes heartfully
one thing is there tht we shd try to avoid taking everything and anything to heart we need to be on lighter note so tht we can to an extent be happy
many times i hear stories abt mil and dil unadjustable things i feel if we constantly ponder and look the problems wht a lens these wud be big issues but if we just laugh off and start ignoring these issues wud settle down and not bother us
genrly ppl who have a little unstable and weak mind who want the appreciation of others and who think more wot others wil think abt them who live in a circle which is v limited or confined have these problems
i feel we shd increase our horizon
i was reading a little bit of ozho nowadays and started thinking little bigger
trying to analyse and forget if i cant rectify myslf if i can try to do tht and not keeping on anaylsing and suffering and making my brain a devils workshop
frns pl keep urslf busy wht some activity and try to enjoy wotever work wer doing which gives u so much strenght and energy to face the situations
slowly the smile comes out and u cheer up
try to avoid ppl or circumstances which /who hurt u
maybe then u wil find urslf a changed person
pl dont introspect too much and make ur life miserable rather than find wht gud qualities u have and hightlight them
if we stop comparing ourslf wht others we wil be happiest persons wot we need is contentment
there is a saying contentment is the key to happieness

cheerup folks

 

Dear Nila
Please cheer up and stop worrying. You have said you were a generally happy person before your baby was born. So you qualify as a "naturally happy" person. A cheerful person does not mean someone always grinning, whatever happens ! Thats impossible ( unless that person is.....ok, lets not be rude here !)

I think the only reason you feel blue is because you are not having good rest and nourishment. Having a baby at home needs a tremendous amount of energy to cope. Please take tonics; good, nutritious, timely food , try to rest well , avoid brooding on anything, listen to soothing music. Dont fret about sacrificing your interests or pastimes, you can always pick them up again later, after Baby has grown a bit.
For the time being, just relax and enjoy your baby fulltime ! This moment will not last forever !

All the best
Manjula

 

Hi chaand,
Actually most of them used to say that i speak boldly and look confident.But still i cannot say that i am always happy.I keep thinking abt things in depth which is the shortcut to the roads of unhappiness,sorrows etc.But i make a point we can throw out such things by diverting us to some other thing which relaxes,revitalises our mind.Just practise the habit of laughing and enjoying things.If we happen to hear a joke ,enjoy and laugh at it.Though i know that implementing is highly difficult.Because when am not in a good mood,i fail to listen what others say ,not even enjoy their jokes instead get irritated.But stiil i am trying to change my mood by practising some simple steps of relaxation like a brisk walk,reading a good book.As many ILites suggested abt smile,yes definitely smile can do wonders."Smile is a curve which straightens our life".Though you try to hide your mood,it is reflected from your facial exp.Never mind.Good things will always happen to good people.Try to make a smile at others which changes your facial exp.Smile strengthens our relationship with others.According to me only our thinking and attitude matters rather than our expressions.When people don't have a smiling face it does not mean he/she is not happy.If you are peaceful ,get going with that ,you are gifted.
Bhargavi

 

Dear chaand,

I saw your mail just now. Orelse I would have written earlier.
Looking happy is different from feeling happy. You can look happy but if you don't feel happy it won't show on your face. Your face and eyes will be dull and it won't look like you are smiling.

Try not to brood over things. If you can talk it out with friends. What are we here for?? Try it when you can. A smile will get you closer to happiness. Everyone has a sadness, which we won't be able to hide. At that time all of our friends will come and be with us to help us to go through that.

Latha :wave

 

Dear Nila,

what you have is called as post-partum blues. It'll be there for sometime , not only for you , for all of us. So don't mind about that. When your mind is restless try to listen to music .
It'll calm you and get you the inner strength with which you'll be able to adjust to your problems. This is my secret. I usually have semi classical songs , soft ones by KJ.Yesudas which I like very much. I always listen to them when I am out of moods. It'll calm me.
A smile, it does wonders. Try it out both of you Chaand and Nila. Both of you have the same meaning in your names. Calm and pleasant moon.
You should also be happy and pleasant all the time . All the best

Latha :wave

 

Hi Latha,

Thank you for your response. Post-partum blues - this is what I have been hearing from my friends with whom I shared what I have been going through. But tell me, whether it would last for more than 10months? It is going to be 10months since I delivered. Though I feel much better now compared to the initial months, this kind of down feeling makes me feel very sad & bad.

My husband has been very supportive during this time. He has heavenly patience. But you know, I irritate him too many times because of my mood swings. I just want to come out of this and be normal.

Any suggestions like listening to music are welcome.

Hi Manjula,

Thank you for your response. I guess you caught a good point of what might be one of the reason for my mood swings - I do fret many times that I don't have time for myself, my past time and do whatever I used to do before baby. I know it is the case with any new moms, but you know sometimes not able to accept that reality.

I will take your advice of good nourishment, good rest and relaxation.

L,
Nila

 

Helo Sheetal,
I saw your mail and couldnot resist responding to it.
I think what you have said for youself, is what most people fill,happy when things the way we like and unhappy when they don't.
The way i see it is it is our attitude towards circumstances. It is not the person or the thing which makes us happy but our reaction and attitude towards both. Nine times out of ten we would want to change the person to suit ourselves.As for things we always want the next best thing. Never Ending!The people you see who seem to be happy all the time are the ones who donot let outside circumstances effect them.They are the ones who take situations as they come andovercome them and move on. The trouble with most of us is we ae just get stuck with the situation.
well these are my views
regards
Pravina

 

Truly said pravina,

let us imagine if everybody did things like what we wanted them to do, behaved like what how we want them do, the interest factor is out.

We need the negative to appreciate the positive.

There is a papanasam sivan padal..

ramanai bajithaal.....
............
veyil illaiye, nizhalil inbamum undo.....

I always tell my son (who is 9) who tends to tell, you are not allowing me to be happy the way i want is- nobody can make any body happy. happiness is a feeling that is felt. maybe we can be a tool to others to attain that feeling. you cannot feel happy unless you want to be.

So its more of a perspective of the person. tell yourself every morning, i want to be very happy today. you will try to be happy whatever comes.

my two cents (shall i say 2 baizas.)

P.S. Come out of your blues nila. god has given you a good gift of motherhood. enjoy it. be happy. your husband can be supportive. your parents can be supportive during mood swings, but how long. recently, there was friends sister who was carrying twins, during her 5th month, she lost her babies. So analyze, if you need more rest, adjust your work and timings accordingly take more rest. eat healthy. listen to good music. i think instrumentals are best healers. listen to happier tunes which take you along with the drift.
hope it helps.

 

Dear Nila,

It shouldn't be there for 10 months and all Nila, then will you show a doctor and get tested for any hormonal imbalance?? have you started getting your periods normally?? Please do let me know through a pm atleast. I'll see If I can help you.

Latha :wave

 

Dear Nila,
I read your post with a lot of interest.I hope i can be of some help.
I can understand your fears. It is wonderful to be a mother but the added responsibility of bringing up a child can sometimes be really daunting. You know before the baby, we have a set lifestyle and with the arrival so many things change. We have been so used to being care free and with the arrival we sometimes feel a little trapped and frustrated as not being to do the things we did before. But the best plus point on your side is the understanding of you husband. Let him know what ur feelings.The fear u speak about is, feeling very insecure in you new role. Relax and don't take things too seriously. You have said you have gone through a lot mentally and physically. Is it because you have had a difficult delivery?
Please don't feel diheartened! these are just baby blues and they will pass.Just don't dwell in them .Also you can speak to your doctor about it. here in Uk we have special counselling services where one can get help. You see back home we had family members from grandparents ,sister in laws etc to help us out. here being in western countries we are on our own and it is very difficult to cope sometimes.
Do the things which interest you while the baby sleeps. Try and meet mothers at play groups or toddlers' clubs. Sometimes just being with people with same situations help as we can relate to the same problems we face and who better to talk to than the person who is in the same boat as us.
Please donot feel i am patronizing! i have 2 boys and coming from a large family i felt the same when i had them.
I am smiling and as the saying goes it is infectious! i hope i have passed it on to you
best regards
pravina