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Husbands Partial Nature

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Worldtraveller, Feb 21, 2018.

  1. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

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    Why do you expect your H to be nice to your sister/folks, and send them gifts instead of doing the same by yourself?

    See... your H is not bothered whether you care for his sister, or whether you want to gift her or not. He does his duty or whatever as per his convenience.
    Like that, why can't you do the same?
    Why are you bothered about his green signals and his preferences when it comes to your folks?

    It never happens, and that is why we say blood is thicker than water.
     
    silentlistener likes this.
  2. Vandhuamma

    Vandhuamma Silver IL'ite

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    Just another perspective, may be I am thinking loud/wrong.


    What if your hus shows interest in gifting your sister?? Will it go well with you? Will you like him planning to call your sister or send her expensive gifts?

    It can be perceived as unnecessary concern extended to your family. Also if he s respecting your parents then consider yourself lucky and move on. Don’t expect him to show concern towards your sister. May be it is not required as such.


    Even for parents, you should not expect/demand him to purchase gifts instead you can go ahead with what is feasible for you. The need to worry or show concern comes only if he stops you.
     
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  3. sanjuruby3

    sanjuruby3 Platinum IL'ite

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    Yeah My MIL is same. Ultimately what she is getting, my hate ( not exactly hate) but she is not getting my love or willingness to come stay with them for long time, and instead I go more to my parents.

    Once we were to start the long journey from MIL to my parents stopping at H's elder brother(her eldest son). My MILs are not exactly very rich or even middle class but have lot of grains/etc crops etc from fields. She gave us many bags of rice, peanuts etc to give to her elder son. Then they have big/very productive lemon tree where lemons are getting wasted all the time. So she gave me one small bag of lemons to give to my parents. Then repeatedly, reminded me to give rice/etc bags to elder brother, NOT TO TAKE TO MY PARENTS. I was like hunh.. my parents have dearth of their rice.

    Then recently elder brothers daughter got engaged. First time they visited daughters prospective grooms home. Elder brother lives far and they came to MILs home in the middle overnight stop to go to boys house.

    It is first time visit to see boys house. They live in village and have everything cows etc. So H's elder brother go to see boys house and meet his parents, brought so many things, homemade ghee, rice, and what not. I was surprised, atleast first time, they should have waited.
    and now my MIL's rules and principles are not hurting that first time you go to boy's house and bring so much of stuff and then, not even sharing with MIL's home, taking it all to their home.

    Earlier I used to have problems or arguments. Now I do not talk or discuss much. I do what I want to do. We both are at loss here. Me and MILS.
    I am not much connected to them, so whole house is stranger to me. I fear opening their fridge or do not go to rooms or open cabinets(other than mine) like my older SIL ( elder brothers wife can do). I do not tell them to not to be stingy to kitchen utensils etc. I just count my days and come back.
     
    Last edited: Feb 22, 2018
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  4. Anjana124

    Anjana124 Senior IL'ite

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    How is your husband behaving with you? Does he gift you on your birthdays or any other special occasions? Except for his curt replies on topics related to his side... How is he otherwise? Does he share his view/ opinions or consider yours in other cases? If so, you don't need to worry about his extra care for his mother/ sister. After all they were/are there with him since his birth. Naturally he must be caring a lot for them.

    As long as he doesn't mess up anything with you and your family, you shouldn't really get bothered about these trivial things. And there is no rule like "you should gift only when you get it back".. as an example, your sister is too good. She gifts you and your kids without an expectation.. she is awesome..

    If you have the freedom to gift/care for your people, you don't need to worry about anything.

    Take it light and see the positive things in your husband. Life will definitely get better.
     
  5. Anjana124

    Anjana124 Senior IL'ite

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    Thankfully you aren't staying with them
    Enjoy your time away from them!
     

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