Thinking To Quit Job

DDream · Feb 21, 2018

mcutiepie said: ↑

Thanks ladies for sharing your experiences.. Even I am not planning to be a complete housewife forever. I am thinking to take a break and then will see how it goes. If things are manageable then I will try to find a WFH job/freelancing and if it does not work, I will start giving tuitions to kids.

I cannot do all this right away as our home is very much into control of MIL now. Like during my maternity break, since I was home I was able to have a maid for dusting and washing clothes (we still have) even my MIL was not in favour. Now also, my aim is to set up a full time maid or equivalent, to do same I need to be home, need to take control of kitchen and other things. Once I achieve that, I can do some home set up. Yes we get impacted financially, but I have savings for myself. If all this does not work, I will look out for part time jobs or some business set up.

From last 2-3 years, again and again I have this though of quitting and because of all above mentioned points I am not able to do so. And again being a possessive and extra caring mom, when I see my son not growing as per my expectations, I feel bad. When I saw him so happy and satisfied during weekends/off, I eventually feel what am I achieving by my career. Am I so selfish? My mom was also working and at that time we had financial liabilities and she did not had a choice. Due to that, I always missed much of her time. I always missed her listening to my school stories and other things. Though the struggle my parents has done for us cannot be described in words, the way they started from zero and attained a good life style, provided us good education, everything. But that one factor keeps poking me that I don't want my kid to feel similar way.

Lets see how it goes.. All d best to me
Click to expand...

Good luck OP

My concern is that as you are going to be in home full time, you need to compete with MIL for everything and it can turn like "jumping from the frying pan into the fire" . Also you dont have full freedom. If you are all alone in home to take care of your kid , you will enjoy more, but not when you stays with your MIL who create issues for you . It is better to have an option to go outside and away from MIL everyday and your current job is a good option.

Also I think you are not working 7 days a week right?. Spend your week end with your kids. The amount time you are spending with kid is not important, but it is the quality of time you spend with them. My suggestion will be to take leave for a week or month and see how its going.. instead of officially taking a break from your work. Don't take a hasty decision. Also be ready to face more accusation like you are simply sitting in home and not bringing any money etc...
You will realize whether the grass is greener or not on the other side only when you check it. So give a test run instead of an actual action. All the best

priyanka12345 · Feb 22, 2018

Hi,

Staying with MIL at home and managing the kid will drain you. If you were all alone to manage the kid then its fine. Say if you leave the job and then MIL goes to her home then its ok. But staying together and you both looking after kid will be mess.
MIL can start complaining on your ways to handle kid, may also say that you are distancing the kid from them etc. It has happened to me even when I was working but ensuring I come home by 5 pm to have time with my son.They kept complaining that I used to do it on purpose to alienate my son from them. Even if you take kid down they may complain.. so think abt it..

About cooking for your hubby, do you think he will stop praising his mom for taking care of him/cooking for him.. no.. even if you quit he will always have something or other mentioning that his mom is slogging..right now you can at least say you work and hence dont have time..

Dont leave your job for your MIL's or Hubby's remarks.
As for your son , you feel that you need to give ample time to your son but its not so.. they only need quality time. they start mixing with others and play with their friends etc.. ..Think abt it..
You can put him in some playgroup for 2 hrs , since he is already 3 yrs old, he will start his nursery soon or might have as well. So initial 2-3 hrs in morning goes in school.. then its lunch and kid sleeps in afternoon as you say.. It means only for 1-2 hrs actually the kid is with MIL for quality time.
so if you can come early by 6 pm , take kid to park everyday .. kid will enjoy and that way you can be sure he is close to you as well..
check if you can have flexible timings then it should work..

Rosey2018 · Apr 18, 2018

mcutiepie said: ↑

Hi All,

I am a working mother with 3 years old kid and staying with ILs. It’s been 6 years to marriage and my terms with my MIL are not very good and my husband is a typical mumma’s boy. My MIL has a habit to control people around her and she tried to do same with me which dint work and hence she is never happy with me. Now, I have 3 problems and for all I think mine taking a break from job is the solution. Looking for suggestions which I might have not considered:

MIL takes care of my son when I am at office. I leave at 9am and reaches back by 7-7:30pm. As I mentioned she wants to control everyone. My husband is already on her toes and now since my son spends day with her, he is getting more attached to her. Though I keep hearing that kids love for parents never change but I have seen cases around me like my friend’s husband is not much attached to his mom and is attached to his granny because granny took care of him. Since at my place, my ILs and husband is already one team and I don’t want my son too with them and I will become an outsider. I believe I need to spend more time with him and I seriously love doing that. Whenever I am home, he loves spending time with me.

We have maids for everything except cooking. My husband leaves early for office (6:30am), for me getting up so early to cook for him is not feasible considering I don’t get rest for entire day and get to sleep by 11:30-12. My MIL cooks for him and then she again go back to sleep at 6:45 and wake up at 9 and then she is free for most of the day. Though she gets her piece of rest but for my husband she is doing everything and I can’t do household chores. I am actually good at cooking and started doing it from 6th standard. The only thing is I don’t have time. Whatever time I get after/before office, I am busy with my son (sending him school, homework, park activities, cooking for him etc etc). I want to show my husband too that sitting at home and all these things is not a big deal.

My MIL keeps on taunting me that you have made me your slave and I am no more than a maid. I can’t go anywhere bla bla. Truth is this too that she does not want me at home as this will hurt her privacy. This I know because when my son was born I took 6 months break and wanted to extend but after 4 months she started saying to my husband that ask her to join back if she wanna continue.

After all this, I am seriously in mood to quit, spend time with my son (which I love), relax, watch TV, go shopping etc. After having such hectic days, what I am earning ultimately? Financially I will be able to manage.

Ladies who have left their jobs, please share your experience.
Click to expand...

Do what ur heart tells you. If u can financially cope then go for it. I know myself Iwoild just wanna be with my baby at home and would t want my MIL looking after her.

simisha · Apr 18, 2018

If you think quitting your job and staying at home will give you peace of mind, then go for it. Why don't you try taking some time off or a mini sabbatical off work? There is nothing wrong with being a SAHM, however, do remember that you'll be staying with your MIL. Especially since your son will start school soon and will be busy. I think financial independence is important as well as interacting with colleagues.