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How Do You Handle This?in Laws Give Unhealthy Food To Baby When I Am Not In House

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by mirrorimage, Feb 15, 2018.

  1. Sandycandy

    Sandycandy IL Hall of Fame

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    Geeta , Bang on ! Exactly my thoughts !
    Parents need to realize that grandparents are not obligated to take care of their grandchildren. They have done their duty by taking care of their children and that’s where it ends. Beyond that any help they offer to the adult child should be looked upon as a huge favor and appreciated with a lot of gratitude. One cannot dictate terms at that point.



     
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  2. BhumiBabe

    BhumiBabe Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi OP, I feel your pain. I had the same trouble with my in-laws, and it wasn't my choice to leave my ds with them. Many of the older generation do not understand how much unnecessary sugar is in biscuits. I didn't buy them, but my inlaws did, so it would have been offensive if I didn't even allow them to give him the snack. The best thing you can do, is share the health videos about biscuits and it's harmful effects (). There are also videos about the effect of sugar on the brain - similar to other addictive drugs. Maybe that will click for them, because it's definitely a scary thing to learn about.

    If you are worried about rusk or something homemade, there is very little you can do to convince them to stop. For them, this is how they raised their own children, and they turned out fine (or it could be that they couldn't afford it for their children, so now they want to spoil their grandchildren). You could try cutting fruits ahead of time, and let your MIL know that you have it in the fridge to give during snack time. Don't be offended that they haven't followed your instruction. It's not as if you pay them to.
     
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  3. Needtobestrong

    Needtobestrong Platinum IL'ite

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    Ok I understand your issue and your concerns for child s health and eating habits..
    Some people hire nannies or put into daycare and caretakers are given strict instructions as to what should or should not be given to the child..but there is still chance of negligence on their part..in your case you have the advantage of In laws looking after the child but disadvantage that they do stuff that you're not comfortable with..
    The irritation of them giving junk and other PIL issues are making you fume..understandable..now see what you can do about it..
    First of all they are previous generation people, they don't have awareness about certain things ..back in those days kids were allowed to eat pretty much everything but these days we prepare baby food toddler food separately..
    Those days, they used to give sugar salt honey to small babies 6-7 months and cow milk also 7-8 month onwards..sterilisation I don't think they followed for bottle etc..but now we sterilise every single thing used by the baby.. we are told by doctors strictly, that sugar, salt, cow milk and honey to be avoided till 1 year is completed..excess salt and sugar is not recommended for toddlers, we know that..but some stuff doesn't go well with elders.. just giving example.
    deal tactfully with this issue..
    Do not purchase those biscuits which are not good..give reason that kids follow our habits, if we eat he will get tempted to eat..also keep telling how excess sugar isn't good for child health..just play awareness videos , and give examples as to how so and so persons child faced health issues due to eating junk food. At least for affection of the grand child they'll be careful.
    Better you prepare some healthy snacks and keep them in the designated place or container to be fed to the child..keep the fruits outside and keep them In designated place so its in front of them..
    You can prepare list of food items that can be given to him and tape them to fridge and other prominent area, tell that doctor told to give them for the growth and development of the child and scolded you for giving junk food..
    "Doctor's advice " works a lot of times.
    Would suggest keeping his foodstuffs for the day according to the desired menu and informing them so they can feed them to him..similar to how u would in daycare.
    U can tell them that you are helping them by preparing all his stuff so it will be easy for them to take care of him.they maybe tired of running behind the child and may be confused what food schedule to follow..at least they'll get reminded to give him healthy stuff.
    There are so many child care websites that give healthy and tasty snack ideas for toddlers..
    Have u tried making biscuits, cookies, muffins etc at home itself , if yes let me know.....
     
    Last edited: Feb 15, 2018
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  4. mirrorimage

    mirrorimage Silver IL'ite

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    Illiterate servants????Did I ever mention I treat them like that??? or did u ever see me how I treat them???
    They definitely are not illiterate,...they are very well aware that its junk ......definitely not a better option when compared to a fruit or anything home made.....
    Yes taking care of a toddler is ofcourse hard ,n I am very well aware of that...and they are not here to only take care of my son.I am not working FYI.....They are here to spend time with my kid which I am very happy about...n open about....because I know my kid needs that love too from his grandparents....
    I am a full time mom who cooks,cleans n takes care of the kid too..
    Just out of interest I go out for a class weekly once and this is when all this happens...
    No ,if u r thinking I treat them as SERVANTS...U DEFINITELY Have got the wrong concept....
    Yes.....I will ask my parents the same thing directly if its really a concern about my childs health....(because he started coughing very badly after they started giving the snack..which mother in the world will not be concerned???)..yes the snack is too unhealthy because it has an ingredient called HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP....
    if u dont know what that means..plzzz google how bad it is for anybody....nothing might happen now or then..eating 1 or 2 of them..but i am worried he might get addicted...
    I dint accuse them they are lazy..it was a question mark if u see the post....I was just questioning myself so that I can do the work for them to make it easier....U just have got the wrong picture my dear....

    oh come on..I am not against traditional home remedies..I am very much towards it..I am just against something which might spoil my kids health...

     
    Last edited: Feb 19, 2018
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  5. DDream

    DDream Finest Post Winner

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    Who bought the snacks?. If it's your pils request them not to buy again.

    If you are the one who bought the unhealthy snacks, then you cannot blame them. Stop buying them and if there is anything left out then throw them to wastebin. Problem will be solved. Don't buy any ready made snack again

    It's very difficult to force kids to eat fruits and vegetables . So make home made snacks and tell pils to give that to your kid when you go out of your home

    I really don't think their intention was wrong. May be to calm down the kid or as a management strategy as they not be able to handle the situation as efficiently like you. Dont expect that any one else take care of your kid like you. It is your responsibility . If you don't believe anyone don't leave your kid with them.

    As they love your kid, they have the best interest. Even if they give one or two ready made snacks, don't worry about it. It is just for a short period . Rest of the period you there as full time mom to take care your kid.
    Don't make it a big issue as they were doing a favour by talking care of your kid while you were away. Your kid was safe and happy in their company
     
    Last edited: Feb 19, 2018
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  6. GeetaKashyap

    GeetaKashyap IL Hall of Fame

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    LOL! you are over-reacting.

    When you wash your dirty linen in public everybody is free to assume whatever they like according to their perspectives and you cannot accuse them later for wrong perceptions. You never said specifically that you treat your in-laws as servants but your tone implied that according to me and many others.

    I dont know what..are they lazy to cook anything ???is it out of lazyness to wash anyfruits that they do that???? (1st statement)
    I dint accuse them they are lazy..it was a question mark if u see the post....I was just questioning myself so that I can do the work for them to make it easier....U just have got the wrong picture my dear....(2nd statement)
    Please analyse your own statements. If you were questioning yourself it should not have appeared here; it should have stayed within your mind.

    .. the snack is too unhealthy because it has an ingredient called HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP....
    if u dont know what that means..plzzz google how bad it is for anybody....nothing might happen now or then..eating 1 or 2 of them..but i am worried he might get addicted...
    Watch your words and tone; in the original post you did not mention that content and thanks for assuming my ignorance and suggesting a search engine!

    U just have got the wrong picture my dear....

    Words can make or break relationships and words are always understood as per one's own perception.

    In a virtual forum, when you vent you should be willing to take feedbacks which may not always support your feelings. In fact, these FB should help you to re-evaluate your own thought processes and understand your situation better. While I do understand your anxiety,(I too have raised a kid and have been with in-laws) I wanted you to watch how much of it was okay for you and your family life. Here members are from across the world and of various age-groups and education levels. According to their own levels, they reply; you should filter and take what suits you and more than anything, think before venting. In another post the OP vented and after so many members showed concern and advised her, she turned back on them to say that their perceptions were wrong. It was just not fair.

    Take care.
     
    Last edited: Feb 19, 2018
  7. MonikaSG

    MonikaSG Platinum IL'ite

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    People have their own personal opinions about everything and want to hear only great about them. No worries at all. It happens. :hello:
     
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  8. Shreema86

    Shreema86 Platinum IL'ite

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    @mirrorimage a colleague of mine was narrating how her inlaws used to buy Toblerone in bulk because of discounts and because of the availability in home her young daughter would eat those when my colleague wasn't home. This despite my colleague repeatedly telling them not to buy too many chocolates.. Final straw came when her daughter developed cavities. Next time the grocery bag had those Toblerone chocolates , my colleague in front of her in laws took it and threw it into the dustbin.. She says since then they are respectful of her food preferences for her kid. Even when her inlaws wanted to get birthday cake and all, they consulted my colleague and bought it only after her go ahead..
     
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  9. mirrorimage

    mirrorimage Silver IL'ite

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    I am very much willing to take your feedback..positive or negative....but not claims saying I treat them like illiterate servants when you dont even know the full picture...

    can you point me to the post where I have turned back???Please do ur studies before making false claims...

    yeah..fair is calling someone that they treat their inlaws as illiterate servants when the person is just looking out for solutions...

    Yeah...fair is questioning them if they would treat their parents the same tone????without even suggesting..

    yeah..fair is pointing and bringing other families into picture saying they trusted their in laws and that is the kind of trust one has to give??....just because one family is doing doesn't mean it will work out for everyone....people are different all around ....

    yeah..fair is false accusations saying that I turned back to others opinions in a different post..

    yeah..fair is saying a person that they are overreacting..

    ha ha ha....


     
    Last edited: Feb 20, 2018
  10. mirrorimage

    mirrorimage Silver IL'ite

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    I am very much willing to take your feedback..positive or negative....but not claims saying I treat them like illiterate servants when you dont even know the full picture...

    can you point me to the post where I have turned back???Please do ur studies before making false claims...

    yeah..fair is calling someone that they treat their inlaws as illiterate servants when the person is just looking out for solutions...

    Yeah...fair is questioning them if they would treat their parents the same tone????without even suggesting..

    yeah..fair is pointing and bringing other families into picture saying they trusted their in laws and that is the kind of trust one has to give??....just because one family is doing doesnt mean it will work out for everyone....people are different all around ....

    yeah..fair is false accusations saying that I turned back to others opinions in a different post..

     

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