1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice

My Heart Cries For My Sis Who Is Now A Mil

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by blessed, Feb 14, 2018.

Page 4 of 16
  1. Feb 16, 2018 #31
    Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    12,503
    Likes Received:
    30,273
    Trophy Points:
    540
    Gender:
    Female
    They wanted to visit the US. Daughter's graduation was a good event to make that visit. Graduation ceremony date is fixed. Thomas Cook trip date is not fixed. The 20 days trip's start and end dates can be planned keeping in mind the working couple's availability also. Maybe they did ask the couple before finalizing dates, we don't know.

    Anyway, I have already said what the son did is unfortunate, and not nice way to treat parents, sibling, no matter what. The rest is conjecture as to why he behaved like that.

    Let the blame lie where it belongs - the son and his choice. Like another poster said, not put it on the DIL.
     
    Rihana, Feb 16, 2018
    Rihana, Feb 16, 2018
    #31
    sindmani likes this.
  2. Feb 16, 2018 #32
    justanothergirl

    justanothergirl IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    3,915
    Likes Received:
    7,188
    Trophy Points:
    408
    Gender:
    Female
    When u are making a short visit there are only some many weekends /weekdays available and thomas cook trips (or any group tours for that matter) also do not have a lot of wiggle room .
     
    justanothergirl, Feb 16, 2018
    justanothergirl, Feb 16, 2018
    #32
  3. Feb 16, 2018 #33
    justanothergirl

    justanothergirl IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    3,915
    Likes Received:
    7,188
    Trophy Points:
    408
    Gender:
    Female
    A spouse can make many things very difficult and even impossible to host /invite a parent or sibling. Many times it comes at the cost of marriage. Usually the one who is tougher gets away with it.
     
    justanothergirl, Feb 16, 2018
    justanothergirl, Feb 16, 2018
    #33
    blissofmylife, kalcandu, Gauri03 and 2 others like this.
  4. Feb 16, 2018 #34
    Shreema86

    Shreema86 Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    497
    Likes Received:
    1,107
    Trophy Points:
    248
    Gender:
    Female
    I feel she should ask her son directly why he behaved so..it was clearly very hurtful behavior from his end to parents.
     
    Shreema86, Feb 16, 2018
    Shreema86, Feb 16, 2018
    #34
    abla, Rihana, sindmani and 1 other person like this.
  5. Feb 17, 2018 #35
    joylokhi

    joylokhi Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,727
    Likes Received:
    2,525
    Trophy Points:
    285
    Gender:
    Female
    Well said JAG, these are my exact thoughts on this. If he senses the mood of his wife and behaves thus, he is a bad son. If on the other hand he had gone ahead and welcomed his parents into his home even when his wife was against any of his plans, he is a bad husband! This is what is happening everywhere! sad!
     
    joylokhi, Feb 17, 2018
    joylokhi, Feb 17, 2018
    #35
    justanothergirl likes this.
  6. Feb 17, 2018 #36
    Sandycandy

    Sandycandy IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    1,807
    Likes Received:
    5,249
    Trophy Points:
    383
    Gender:
    Female
    But why not receive the parents at the airport sans the wife, visit them everyday while they stay at his sisters place. Why not take them around without the wife? What kind of a “ man” is this that cannot even stand up to his wife and say “ I need to spend time with my parents . I understand if you don’t want to come along. But I have to go spend time with them“ . 20 days is a short time for a US visit. This son is such a disappointment. Thank god for daughters !

     
    Sandycandy, Feb 17, 2018
    Sandycandy, Feb 17, 2018
    #36
    pocahontas, kcb, blissofmylife and 6 others like this.
  7. Feb 18, 2018 #37
    sindmani

    sindmani Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,560
    Likes Received:
    1,697
    Trophy Points:
    285
    Gender:
    Female
    Very true. Well said. Daughters are a blessing.
     
    sindmani, Feb 18, 2018
    sindmani, Feb 18, 2018
    #37
    nandinimithun and Sandycandy like this.
  8. Feb 18, 2018 #38
    justanothergirl

    justanothergirl IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    3,915
    Likes Received:
    7,188
    Trophy Points:
    408
    Gender:
    Female
    Lets just have a world full of only daughters . No sons. No marriages .No PIL . Problem solved.
     
    justanothergirl, Feb 18, 2018
    justanothergirl, Feb 18, 2018
    #38
    JustAnotherMom, blessed, SunPa and 5 others like this.
  9. Feb 18, 2018 #39
    Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    12,503
    Likes Received:
    30,273
    Trophy Points:
    540
    Gender:
    Female
    Agree.

    Son's behavior as described is not nice. Reasons for it can be many. DIL might also have contributed to it. But, bottom line is that his parents came to the U.S. for 20 days and he could barely find time for them.
     
    Rihana, Feb 18, 2018
    Rihana, Feb 18, 2018
    #39
    Shreema86 and NeetaR like this.
  10. Feb 18, 2018 #40
    Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    12,503
    Likes Received:
    30,273
    Trophy Points:
    540
    Gender:
    Female
    We don't know if that is what happened in this case.

    But yes, an unwilling spouse can make it very difficult to host a parent or sibling. To keep peace in the marriage, a person can cut off or minimize relationship with parent/sibling. Sometimes, it is the woman who goes through this, and sometimes the man.

    It is difficult for outsiders to know the nitty-gritty of a family's dealings. We won't know what makes the man or woman be unwilling to host parents/in-laws.

    In my extended family, and DH's too, if the lady of the house does not verbally invite or express at least a token 'do come', guests/parents/relatives take it as a personal slight, will not visit. It is a little quaint maybe.

    That would be a very boring world. Men have their uses. : ) Jokes aside, looks like simply landing up in child's city and expecting to be hosted is not doable. Have to know ahead who is hosting, how long. A little sad no doubt.
     
    Rihana, Feb 18, 2018
    Rihana, Feb 18, 2018
    #40
    blessed and sindmani like this.
Page 4 of 16

Share This Page