How To Manage Mother In Law?

I know, in arrange marriage we have a hard time understanding our partner,so we want to spend maximum time with our partner to know each other. But they dont understand this. If we have any weekend plan and miss to call them its all melodrama. Why dont you return our calls.

 

Hi ILs,

Its me again. I hope you remember my story.I need help plz plz.
Yesterday my husband and I got into a fight. And he called me materiallistic because I had asked for TV. I told him that TV is not a luxurious thing but he was like whatever I couldnt afford it that time and u made me buy it.
We went on vacations 2 times, that also he said, ki shopping,ghoomna TV ye sab materialistic hai.
Ye sab chahiye tha to why didnt u marry any businessman or paisewala.

I was hurt by his comments.I didnt ask for anything that was costly or something.Asking for TV, asking for occasional hangout, how does that make me materialistic? He was playing a victim card saying mere pass to paise hai nahi,jao koi aisa dhundho jo tumhe sab kuch de sake,I have to pay for EMI for the house bought in Mumbai.
I dont understand what to do, I was working at very good post and salary in Infosys.I left that job to accompany him here.I am on H4 visa now. I do not want to live with him anymore knowing that he thinks of me so low. I am considering separation but am scared as hell. Because if we get divorce, it will be me who will get affected the most.
I will not have job, I have lost 1 year in carrier which will be a huge setback. I will have to go back to India, and waha ki situation we all know, relatives,neighbors,friends.Everyone will become suddenly interested in my life. It will be hard to be single again.
It wont affect him as he will have his job here as before,his home. No one is going to bother him by asking questions in US.

I called my mom today morning, then she called him but he was talking to her so nicely and convincing that my mom didnt say anything more and asked me to adjust.


I am not sure what to do. Please guide me on this.

 

Thanks MonikaSG for the kind words.
When he said those words yesterday, I asked him did he really mean that. He knew it hurt me a lot and said he wanted to say that for quite a long time. I dont think he just got carried away said that. he repeated those things when my mom called him today.
I cant search for a job here in USA as i m on H4 visa.

 

Hi DDream,

This was the first article I read when I came to USA. I didnt want to sit at home and lose my confidence.
If the legal process of his I-140 goes smoothly we will have EAD by April'18.
Also I am studying for GRE and was planning on taking an exam in Dec-Jan.
But the issue is frequent arguments with my husband. I do not demand anything that I know I wouldnt buy if it were my money. I did all my necessary shopping in our last India trip by breaking my FD.
Yeah, I am now following the the same thing you mentioned, not demanding anything.
I sleep on the floor now as he might think bed is also materialistic.(as he thought as TV was.)

I am also searching any volunteer activity near me as you said.
I was thinking of walking out of the marriage as we are not compatible at all. Not sure what to do

 

At the moment it just is too much to take in. I have completely lost my piece of mind.
I have been searching for volunteer opportunities,there are available but not at walking distance, I dont want to go in his car.