Relationships Forum Chatter & Grey Matter

moi? I've been advising young married women to take up drinking, so that they can kill the brain cells to forget those snarky things they had said to their husbands in the heat of some domestic battle. I even changed my avataar picture to look appropriately wizened.
Yes that was a fine post. And it wasn't in a thread started by someone else.
Would these steps minimize DIL & in-laws problems?

When there is a mummy like Rihana, a child could be nervous to bring home a prospect (from college? or work?) for mummy's approval.

 

May be she has read blog posts on how hackers steal people's personal info from other's WiFi. Or how one can install keylogger using their WiFi.

If you or your husband works in IT, if you already didn't know it, you should know that hacking occurs through such backdoor. Also don't click on any YouTube links other than official YouTube as Crossscripting allows people to steal people's login and passwords.

Some sites display IP addresses of users which bad people misuse too to gain information about others.

If you ask me, both of you were culprits. You should be using your data connection if something is so urgent that you need to attend work related e-mails even within the span of 2-3 hours because you were using someone's WiFi to access your work e-mails which is not advisable from employer's security viewpoint as most malwares enter through such access. She was wrong to not forget the password as soon as you were done using it because next time you go to her house, your devices gain automatic access.

Sorry, you were seeking sympathy but after equifax hack, I try to teach people the importance of security measures in this connected world.

 

@Rihana, thank you. Need to deliver some words of wisdom to a young niece. But not wise enough to do it. So better copy and paste some gyan from the wise here

@Nonya, thank you, how do you work your wonders? And you dont need the wizened avatar. posts speak louder than avatar

 

SP, you can NOT cop out of the responsibility of an auntie with a cut & paste of Rihana's gospel.

Girls, indian, American or wherever they are, do not have a ready supply of husband-prospects for applying Rihana's Rules.

Our daughters have to become financially independent. This is Rihana's first rule. They should be able to marry a stay-at-home-sperm-donor-baby-minder and support him through life. When they are ready to do that, they are ready to face life's challenges.
When I see the Miranda rights (you have the right to an attorney, if you don't have or cannot afford one, one would be provided for you) on some TV police drama, it reminds me of Indian/pakistani/malay girls who get "assigned" a husband. In non-dating cultures, this is a given. Parents choose someone who is sort of "right". This is like being given a bronco. the girl has to ride it and get it to behave for all her future needs. This bronco-busting scheme is what a necessary education an auntie must give to a niece. How to choose a bronco to bust, from all those girl/boy dekko/chat events, could be very helpful as well.
Have at it.

Eventually when the niece has a man, and is being thrown off before the 8 seconds are up, you can always say: Not my circus, not my monkey.

 

not easy being an aunt . Let me say this is part of research - I wont do a copy paste, promise.

This niece in question is a fun loving creature and is financially independent , and living on her own far from her parents for over 2yrs+. Her grad school and masters too were all far away from her parents. And I thought she would find her own man given her wide circle of friends. But much to our surprise has tasked her mum with finding the sacrificial groom. And then is irked by the intrusiveness that an arranged match making entitles.

The mom is walking on egg shells, trying to introduce suitable boys biodata (while the US of A is filled with Indians, when it comes to eligible boys with all the criteria, the list shrinks very fast) and trying not to piss her off. So I thought it was time to tell her eventually it is her circus, and her monkey - so she better vet the monkeys and make sure they measure up to her standards. Her mum should be the facilitator not the one holding the reigns. She is the ultimate one who is responsible for choosing "a suitable boy".

 

Hahaha... clever pointing to the vikram seth novel ... with the same theme [blurb from Amazon: Lata and her mother, Mrs. Rupa Mehra, are both trying to find -- through love or through exacting maternal appraisal -- a suitable boy for Lata to marry.]
That real world Mummy has to tell your niece Lata in forin to go to match making sites and find a mate. Quite often those who had grown up in the non-"dating" cultures, are not exactly capable of dealing with forin dates wanting a sampling of physical intimacy of various sorts, before they'd ever want to get to "commitment".
If it is possible to live far away from parents, it ought to be possible to live far away from a spouse, and meet only on specific conjugal visits. Woody Allen and Mia Farrow had that kind of marital arrangement by living in different apartments in the same city, and met only on prearranged schemes.
You have a tough niece to serve. Pity that we don't catch them young... on the day of menarche, and teach them the two commandments: 1. Be financially independent 2. Don't get pregnant until you can support the spawn all by yourself. That would make for some beautiful and confident girls, and future aunties who'd dish out the right advice.

 

And they didn't read all the way to the end of the blog which asks u to separate guest account from ur own to allow external access to internet without the ability to get into ur LAN?

@Rihana my take ur friend and or her hubby is a) lazy and they dont want to take the extra effort to read through her routers manual to provide a guest access / change their passwd. OR b) this is the first time they were in a position where they actually had to give it to someone and they need sometime to get their act together. OR c) they have standard set of passwords used for this and elsewhere and are afraid of it getting out of ur device through some malware.

There are risks even if u are not the one who poses it. In case ur device gets lost /stolen and lands in the hand of someone who walks by ur friends house then he /she will automatically get logged in and will have complete access to their LAN.
This is all very far fetched but technically can happen esp since u live miles away from them.
Easiest would have been to change the passwd and create a guest account.