Stressed Situation

YOU TOO GET STUBBORN ,.he has lots of ego.
ignore him. play with ur kids and show him how happy u are.
he will come around.
stop appeasing him

 

OP your situation seems tricky. The constant reminder of the previous argument /fight and things said in anger and frustration and never moving on can be such a downer and ruin the joy of living. I suggest you work on following points:

1. Speak to your DH that this is a serious and recurring problrm in your marriage and that while you do not mind hearing his side and to let him vent out but that should happen in a designated time and space and from then on you both should move on, press the reset button and be a happy couple. Now this may be hard yo practice but the first step is to have your DH agree on this point in logic and theory for happy marriage. Next step is to implement in practice and remind your husband of this agreement everytime he diverts from the promised solution to the issue.

2. If you cannot have your DH agree to above point or if fails yo implement it despite reminders then consider giving him taste of his own medicine. You intentionally hold grudge and remind him of that now and then and letting him know that he will get the same treatment as he give to others / you.

3. Give him major silent treatment lasting long enough that he realize that pissing you off doest not do any good.

Good luck !

 

Op,you left your husband and home for six months for your sister's wedding . You took his daughters away for six months and you complained about his sister.

How would you like if your husband left his job and took your daughters away with him to take care of his sister's wedding for six months?

How can you say you don't work ?A stay at home mom with two kids is a very busy job .It is a fairly hard work even with paid help in India,it must be tougher without help.
Stay at home mom is a job too. A stay at home mom takes care of home and family so that the bread winner can do his job without any worry. So that he comes back home to a happy family ,not to an empty house pining for his wife and little kids.

One month two months is still understandable or if there was a medical emergency .....but six months for a wedding is different. He must have missed his wife and daughters too. Fathers deserve to be with their little ones too even if they are not primary care givers.

 

Op....if I were in your place,I would apologize to him for leaving him for so long and try to make up for it. Put yourself in his shoes and see if you would not be hurt.Even if it was with his consent ,it is still pretty sad.

We can't blame husband for not making us his priority if we don't make him our priority.

We can't blame husband for not being close to our children if we do not consider' father children 'time as precious as 'mother children' time.

If you leave him for so long ,he may just learn to live without you and your daughters.

 

Leaving your husband and going for 6 months taht too for marriage function dosent seem acceptable. Try to see things from his perspective as well. He must have felt unloved and uncared while you were enjoying happlily with your entire family.

 

I don't see what people are complaining about the 6 months trip to India. Maybe now these days this is not so common, but it was VERY common 30 years ago. Because the trip to India was so expensive then and hardly any Indian women worked then so the usual way of it was the woman would go with the kids, then the husband would come for some time and he would go back sooner because of his job.

Did he not agree to the trip before you left?

The issue I see here is that the husband is not letting go of an old argument. I'm a little bit with Sunshine and a little bit with Grace. You guys need to come to some sort of agreement to let bygones be bygones - to REALLY do that, not just each saying you will do that.