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How To Handle This Specific Situation While Visiting Inlaws

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by senoritaaa, Oct 16, 2017.

  1. Pallavi1811

    Pallavi1811 New IL'ite

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    My MIL says same. And says more when my hubby is not around. Initially i used to get so much irritated that i fought with my husband over this.
    Now i have changed myself over this. Whenever she comes to live in my place, i say " mummy since u r here, u cook and make him eat Apne hath ka khana. May be he will put on weight". And she gets mum after this. She stills taunts me but it has reduced.
     
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  2. shashivanshi

    shashivanshi Senior IL'ite

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    Note that U are giving chance for her by reacting in a way she wants , Even me face same kind of issue , But I will also never say any negetive words in front of my hubby, Infact they do this to pull Our leg infront of all.You should be diplomatic and wait for your chance to talk, You should talk only when required and make use of situation when you get , like how they do. Its difficult for straight forward people to handle , But we should and must learn that tactics to lead life now on this earth. Even me on the same boat.
     
  3. priyajagadeesh

    priyajagadeesh Senior IL'ite

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    Reading all these response by now you probably realize this is very common problem.. Do not loose your cool, I would just say "Yes MOM, DH or Kids like to eat XYZ prepared by your hand, they are bored of my food" and then you go take rest, enjoy your vacation.

    Most of us (Women) take small things too seriously and self-blame for not doing better job and trust me its never going to change and whatever you do to please EVERYONE, its never enough and you will end up in lot of stress. Its all in how we perceive things, If DH is lean/not keeping health then its DH fault and not yours. Try to let go of things you feel are not important/ not in your control.
     
  4. Naari

    Naari Platinum IL'ite

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    OP, a very common issue. In my case, my FIL says that. When DH was weighing himself there, he says "you must have gained weight son, since you get to eat full meals here!" :mad: Dh replied to that "I actually lost some!" :sweatsmile: FIL didn't say a thing after that. But, that comment did get bother me even after Dh's reply. So pretty common..

    Ignore it, if you can. Or say "yeah, we have been trying to lose some weight, I am so glad's its working!" Your victory even in weight loss is a BURN for MIL!:tongueout:
     
  5. Rakhii

    Rakhii Moderator IL Hall of Fame

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    have a bet with DH for 100 bucks. Guess everything she is going to say. if she utters it, you win, you get the 100 bucks.
     
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  6. AshMenon

    AshMenon Gold IL'ite

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    Never take such words to heart. Its natural tendency for a mother to feel that her child has lost weight, though they might have gained 20 pounds. Also, if you feel that your MIL is purposefully saying such things to make you feel bad, just ignore her words. Give her a smile and then take a look at FIL/BIL (as applicable) and tell in a very concerned voice "oh... are you alright? you look weak and have reduced so much!"

    Your MIL will get the message that you wont take BS. And in the very very rare case of her concern being genuine, she may feel good that her DIL is so concerned about her ILs.. So its a WIN-WIN situation for us ;);):p

    My MIL does this every time she visits us. I used to feel bad the first 2 times. Last time I just let out a laugh and said "he has gained 10 pounds!" :roflmao:
     
  7. Naari

    Naari Platinum IL'ite

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    Hey OP, one more thing, when I share such petty stuff with my parents, they advise me to have fun with it like in a humor way & not to take it seriously. And to let it go and take a higher road etc etc..I am not sure if I can let it go, but I like the humorous way part.. If we were watching it on a saas-bahu show, tell me what your reaction would be? To laugh it off, isn't it? :wink:
     
  8. Archanaanchan

    Archanaanchan IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Op .. MIl except a few always play the bad characters:) Act smart.. Dont waste your time on thinking ways of changing MIl or taking revenge.....Invest time on cleverly handling situations and importantly IGNORING:) That's the only way to escape...
     
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  9. anitalovesyou

    anitalovesyou Silver IL'ite

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    Dear OP, don't take it seriously at all. My situation is just the opposite, my MIL says to give less food to my husband and children, because they have become fat like me ! I am not fat at all, but she says that all the time, maybe because she is very very thin, almost sick like. But I cannot say that to her na... so she knows how to make me feel bad. But till date I have never said a word to her in reply, not with this topic or any other comment, maybe because of that she has taken me for granted. Anyways, I don't reply back, and I don't care. Either you be silent and don't care, or give tactful answers.
     
  10. Dishaa

    Dishaa Gold IL'ite

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    Wow excellent....
     

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