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Vacancies For Senior Citizens

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by sln, Oct 16, 2017.

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Oct 16, 2017 #21

sln Platinum IL'ite

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Sandycandy said: ↑

Very well written ! Indian society is going through this uncomfortable transition phase where traditional values and western style of living do not go hand in hand. In most western societies, children are expected to be independent (financially or otherwise ) at a a fairly young age and are expected to take care of themselves. On the other hand , parents are also making sure that they are financially secure during their old age. It’s essentially each individual taking care of their own self with not much expectation from the other. The grandparents are not expected to take care of the grandchildren full time and have their own fulfilling lives. Living together with parents is not even a option that is considered. While it seems selfish, I see there is more love and less resentment on both sides . The children still take their parents to doctors appointments and provide help when needed. This may or may not work well in our Indian setting where retirement homes have a negative connotation and parents are heavily invested emotionally and financially in their children. Time to think about it though.
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In india, those who can afford provide not only for their children but also plan for grand children.There is something wrong with the DNA of the seniors[60-80]who aspire for a better financial security for the next generation compared to them and simultaneously wish to be wanted and consulted or atleast go through the motion.The situation is worse when seniors are financially dependent on their children.Without appearing to make a sweeping statement let me say that emotional bonding and mutual consideration appear better with daughters than sons.Hope I am not stirring up a hornets nest.
sln

sln, Oct 16, 2017

sln, Oct 16, 2017

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Oct 16, 2017 #22

jayasala42 IL Hall of Fame

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That lady who suggested 3 crores- as a viable option! There are people who may fix the limit as 30 crores.Society has undergone lot of changes.Many don't understand or rather refuse to understand.However much awareness is created, the age old joint family system cannot be revived and it is not desirable also.I have lived in a very big joint family consisting of nearly 30 people and everyday was a hell. I have never enjoyed the love, affection etc of either my grandmas, or my own parents.Everything was in a mess.But I was married into a beautiful family consisting of my caring husband, his mother and aunt.Though I had two mothers-in-law to take care, I had absolutely no problem.There was not even a murmur or innate grudge from either side.They were so loving, considerate and not interfering also, a rarity among women of those days.Actually I have learnt more from my in-laws rather than my parents and grand parents.
Seniors also have to get satisfied with skype or whatsapp messages and cannot expect a few words of affection or consolation.That is the societal compulsion.Once we get used to it, that expectation is not felt.
My mother very often said," affection is like water flow and it will flow from higher level to lower level and converse can never happen.Our children will be more affectionate towards their children only and that is the law of nature.Only human beings with reasoning ,are emotional, sensitive with a sense of expectation of love, regard etc.Other species of nature-all animals and birds leave their younger ones to fend for themselves and life is left to the force of powerful nature. Now I think human beings are forced by circumstances to behave like birds/animals notwithstanding the prevailing of 6th sense.
Issues are many.Individuals are different.We cannot suggest a single solution to this problem,that may not work out to all individuals or even to the same individual on various occasions. It differs from person to person, place to place and time to time.We have to flow with the wind.

jayasala 42

jayasala42, Oct 16, 2017

jayasala42, Oct 16, 2017

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Oct 16, 2017 #23

Naari Platinum IL'ite

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Dear OP, really good write up depicting the situation of Indian seniors in current times.

I live with my husband & kid in US & don't share a very harmonious relationship with in laws just because we are vastly different in every way. I must say that I believed that if we were to invite them to visit us/live with us , it would be purely for their benefit & sightseeing & touring & never to help me with the child or take care of home duties , while I work. I do strongly believe that our kids are our own responsibility solely & if we cannot manage them with our schedules , then we shd not be having kids . It is extremely wrong to expect our parents to take care of young kids at the age 70 when they did their cycle & shd be resting or at least not running around kids!! Let the principle of independence work both ways & not be used to the kids' convenience for sure.

Naari, Oct 16, 2017

Naari, Oct 16, 2017

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Oct 16, 2017 #24

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sln said: ↑

Applications are invited from senior citizens for the position of General Managers in households in large upmarket apartment complexes all over India..

Candidates should be atleast graduates keeping in line with the status of the apartment complex.Should be proficient in English,their mother tongue and Hindi.Working knowledge of local language will be an added advantage,People in their early sixties will be preferred in view of their better mobility.Should be computer literate so that they can handle their bank accounts,Pancard and Aadhar card complications and not be a pest on the ever busy children.Should be able to independently handle their age related issues like blood sugar,rumbling stomach,hearing problems,weak knees and bulging discs in the spinal chord etc.Assistance will be provided for heart ailments on week ends.

Job description includes:

Render pre and post delivery assistance to children working abroad atleast a couple of times to enable grand children to be recognised as citizens of the host countries.
Under Indian conditions:
Get the school going children ready including packing of food and dropping at the bus stand as and when necessary.
Take care of the household work including supervision of maids and ensuring the safety of the house in the absence of the house owner and his wife who are in a rush to go to office.Cook lunch for themselves as children have access to a satisfying choice of delicacies in the food courts.
Open the door and take delivery of Amazon and Big basket couriers any number of times without grumbling.
Stand in the queue for the vegetable van and keep the fridge stocked with vegetables.
Take the grandchildren to the play area, dance class,badminton class,karate class etc and ensure their safe return home.
Keep snacks ready when the grandchildren come home from school and ensure their comfort.Should eschew the habit of criticising the children for eating junk food , eating before the TV or meddling with the Tab all the time. Keep an eye on what grand children are watching on the you tube when they reach their teens.
Should not have expectations that the young couple will spend time with them,share any information or seek their advice
Should not indulge in giving unsolicited advice on food habits,life style etc and give long anecdotes of their sacrifices and suffering[since they have retired from life’s competition they busy themselves with complete repetition] and particularly avoid embarrassing the youngsters when they have their colleagues visiting them.
Should refrain from gossiping about the family when they meet their peergroup and not
indulge in useless banter.

Finally should be able to travel by public transport to markets,railway station etc.

The employers reserve the right to demand additional dos and donts as exigencies demand.

Remuneration will be in the shape of free accommodation,free food,TV facility during office hours,toiletries, unlimited use of the common facilities in the complex, celebration of their birthdays and mandatory prostration on important festival days.

Those interested may walk in with their Aadhar card,blood test report[HbA1c,blood sugar,liver function test,kidney function test,ultra sound of the abdomen,ECG and Echo Cardiogram]

PS[AUTHORS NOTE]

OLD PEOPLE HAVE THE ADVANTAGE OF KNOWING EVERY THING ABOUT YOUNG AGE WHERE AS YOUNSTERS ARE IGNORANT OF WHAT THE OLD AGE IS ABOUT
Click to expand...

What a great post ! In few of my posts, I have always been iterating about how some people have their parents or ILs for raising kids and running their household . And while they get free nanny/help, they still have the audacity to complain and find faults with all the free help they get. Some say it's a part of Indian culture and this is how it has always been . I personally don't think it's right and elders should have a life of their own . In the past ,people lived in joint families and the responsibilities were shared among everyone in the house. With nuclear families, it will be wrong to expect a 70 year old running after kids, managing their naps,running errands cooking and also ensuring safety of the littles one which is a herculean task by itself. At that age, elders should do what they like and what they missed all along while raising their own kids. This whole thing about getting free help is wrong at all levels!

Last edited: Oct 17, 2017

Sunburst, Oct 16, 2017

Sunburst, Oct 16, 2017

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Oct 17, 2017 #25

sln Platinum IL'ite

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jayasala42 said: ↑

That lady who suggested 3 crores- as a viable option! There are people who may fix the limit as 30 crores.Society has undergone lot of changes.Many don't understand or rather refuse to understand.However much awareness is created, the age old joint family system cannot be revived and it is not desirable also.I have lived in a very big joint family consisting of nearly 30 people and everyday was a hell. I have never enjoyed the love, affection etc of either my grandmas, or my own parents.Everything was in a mess.But I was married into a beautiful family consisting of my caring husband, his mother and aunt.Though I had two mothers-in-law to take care, I had absolutely no problem.There was not even a murmur or innate grudge from either side.They were so loving, considerate and not interfering also, a rarity among women of those days.Actually I have learnt more from my in-laws rather than my parents and grand parents.
Seniors also have to get satisfied with skype or whatsapp messages and cannot expect a few words of affection or consolation.That is the societal compulsion.Once we get used to it, that expectation is not felt.
My mother very often said," affection is like water flow and it will flow from higher level to lower level and converse can never happen.Our children will be more affectionate towards their children only and that is the law of nature.Only human beings with reasoning ,are emotional, sensitive with a sense of expectation of love, regard etc.Other species of nature-all animals and birds leave their younger ones to fend for themselves and life is left to the force of powerful nature. Now I think human beings are forced by circumstances to behave like birds/animals notwithstanding the prevailing of 6th sense.
Issues are many.Individuals are different.We cannot suggest a single solution to this problem,that may not work out to all individuals or even to the same individual on various occasions. It differs from person to person, place to place and time to time.We have to flow with the wind.

jayasala 42
Click to expand...

As you rightly said,joint family system has been quietly burried as the threshold level of tolerance is coming down. There is a lot of difference between seniors doing some thing out of love as against situational demands Again by practice seniors are prisoners of routine and when this is disturbed they get upset.Unchecked ambition and affected work life balance also add to the disenchantment.
SLN

sln, Oct 17, 2017

sln, Oct 17, 2017

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Oct 17, 2017 #26

sln Platinum IL'ite

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Naari said: ↑

Dear OP, really good write up depicting the situation of Indian seniors in current times.

I live with my husband & kid in US & don't share a very harmonious relationship with in laws just because we are vastly different in every way. I must say that I believed that if we were to invite them to visit us/live with us , it would be purely for their benefit & sightseeing & touring & never to help me with the child or take care of home duties , while I work. I do strongly believe that our kids are our own responsibility solely & if we cannot manage them with our schedules , then we shd not be having kids . It is extremely wrong to expect our parents to take care of young kids at the age 70 when they did their cycle & shd be resting or at least not running around kids!! Let the principle of independence work both ways & not be used to the kids' convenience for sure.
Click to expand...

You are absolutely right.Asking a 70 year old man to run after a cycling child is cruel.It was a physically less demanding task when grandmas told stories to the grandchildren.The one major recreation for them is watching serials and when any task is entrusted to them which disturbs this entertainment,they get upset.However a kind word here and there and sharing of information will restore their confidence on their relevance and in return they will happily share the responsibility of running the home.
SLN

sln, Oct 17, 2017

sln, Oct 17, 2017

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Oct 17, 2017 #27

sln Platinum IL'ite

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Sunburst said: ↑

What a great post ! In few of my posts, I have always been iterating about how some people have their parents or ILs for raising kids and running their household . And while they get free nanny/help, they still have the audacity to complain and find faults with all the free help they get. Some say it's a part of Indian culture and this is how it has always been . I personally don't think it's right and elders should have a life of their own . In the past ,people lived in joint families and the responsibilities were shared among everyone in the house. With nuclear families, it will be wrong to expect a 70 year old running after kids, managing their naps,running errands cooking and also ensuring safety of the littles one which is a herculean task by itself. At that age, elders should do what they like and what they missed all along while raising their own kids. This whole thing about getting free help is wrong at all levels!
Click to expand...

Indian culture encouraged sharing of joys and sorrows.Things have changed.For example how every one participated in sharing chores connected with a marriage in the earlier days while today even siblings attend the function as visitors and rush to the dining hall after presenting the gift.Caterers and contractors have taken over this function.Runaway increase in wants and the need to earn at the expense of peace and tranquility at home including dependence on seniors and scant regard for sentiments.
SLN

sln, Oct 17, 2017

sln, Oct 17, 2017

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Oct 17, 2017 #28

Cheeniya Super Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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Dear Sln
Very well written post. I wish you had also written about the other side of the mid night. I am in my mid seventies and when I sit and chew the cud, I find my life not too bad. I have had some terrible tragedies in my life but God has given me the strength to bear them with equanimity. What is life if it is not a mixture of joys and sorrows?
Sri

Cheeniya, Oct 17, 2017

Cheeniya, Oct 17, 2017

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Oct 17, 2017 #29

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Cheeniya said: ↑

Dear Sln
Very well written post. I wish you had also written about the other side of the mid night. I am in my mid seventies and when I sit and chew the cud, I find my life not too bad. I have had some terrible tragedies in my life but God has given me the strength to bear them with equanimity. What is life if it is not a mixture of joys and sorrows?
Sri
Click to expand...

Dear SRI,
THANKS for your comments.After Mithilas exit I stopped writing and spent a couple of years in a retirement retreat in search of solitude.A bad fall and lying unnoticed for 30 minutes exposed my foolishness.I returned to my two lovable daughters delivered and brought up with values by the wonderful lady Mithila.I Celebrated by eightieth birth day a few days back and energised by the attention and affection ,I decided to write again and you are now witness to the beginning of my second innings.
I am a classic example of the other side of midnight.I find many senior couples[seventy of them] feel bad about the lack of communication.They feel"we know all the answers but nobody asks us questions"Loneliness is the bane of old age and unlike youth the years are short and the days are long.As long as this is understood,misunderstandings and perceptions change.
Regards
SLN

sln, Oct 17, 2017

sln, Oct 17, 2017

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Oct 17, 2017 #30

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Life in joint families was different and things have changed so much. I don't know what is in store for us, we just have to take life as it comes. Thank you for sharing.

LakshmiKMBhat, Oct 17, 2017

LakshmiKMBhat, Oct 17, 2017

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