Should Wife Give/share Her Salary With Husband

I don't give my salary. But here is how my mom advised me and it makes a lot of sense as i grow older. After marriage there is no "I" , it is always "WE". My dh never asked me for salary. But he will say no if he cannot afford anything beyond his salary and savings.

When we were buying a house, i gave my all savings without even thinking about.

So you are perfectly ok, as long as you think your family is more important than anything. and you know you are willing to let of money when the real need is.

you are lucky not to get in stupid money fights,.

 

Op, First of all no same rule applies to all couples. Rules are meant to imposed by couple themselves and not forced. Your setup is fine in your family. Don't rock the boat listening to ignorant friends. They may be jealous and trying to show their superiority by showing your method down. No 2 marriages work the same. Chances are their husbands have been imposing the finance rules and these ladies have been following to keep peace . Don't let them influence you. Your marriage is good to you and it works. That's whats important not he said she said. People will tell 100 things . Many women will be envious of you. Its a nice situation to be in . Good Luck.

 

I believe that each family runs on their own rules, and they work out somehow. In my own case, my husband expects me to hand over the money, but I don't and maintain a separate account. I don't mind paying the mortgage or childcare, but I am never going to give him power over HOW I spend the money. Personally, I think this keeps the money issues out of the relationship, and in theory, should help to maintain the household peace. I think it's ridiculous that woman have to beg to use money for themselves and their parents. It's ridiculous, because even as housewives, we end up completing work that, if we weren't there, would cost a lot more money to complete on a regular basis.

Anyway, don't feel bad about what you are doing. You're husband isn't worried about your money, so why should you? It's actually advised that as a family, you should earn to live on a single income, and use the other income as savings. Depending on 2 incomes for financial security means that you are living beyond your means.

 

OP, look like you are lucky to have a loving/understanding/caring husband like this. There is no 'me' or 'you' , you both think like 'we'. This transparency, trust and team spirit is important and you both are happy. May god bless you both.

Please dont listen to other opinion on this. If the current setup works for you, then what is the problem. You both have to decide what works for your family. If both of you are happy, nothing to worry. Finance is a very delicate subject to handle. It is better not to discuss this issue, if not necessary.

As long as couple's expense is much lower than income, many issues can be solved. If it matches or expense exceeds, lot of struggles and confusions are possible. If there is mutual trust between the couple, finance will be transparent. If not ,one have to hide facts/income in by leaving other confused state or will have lot of expectations. As long as your dh earns more than your expense it will be OK, if not he may naturally expect you to contribute or lower one own life standards.

Some women are forced to give their salary, some share their salary by themselves(check IL forum). If there is mutual trust and understanding,if both think as a team, and if decisions are not forced up on, then there will be no issue. If not, for example , if the wife dont have freedom to spend on her expense or husband don't meet her expectations, anything can be an issue.

If a husband spend lot of money on his expenses and his family and not allow his wife to do the same that can become a problem and vice versa. If wife earns more than husband, naturally he expect wife to spend. Many couples have common account where both contribute and manage their home or they share the total monthly expense by mutual understanding. But in some cases, husband wants wife's salary on common account and he don't allow her to spend even a penny without his permission.

I have seen many homemakers who have to beg husband for everything. But in some cases their husband allow them to spend as much as they want. For example in USA, if a couple earns middle class income and if they own a home,mortgage, and have kids etc..both of have to contribute to meet expenses. So sharing income is a must to survive.

Anyways, pl dont worry about what others think, just listen and don't take it to heart. What works for you may not work for others and vice versa.

 

Dear OP,
i foresee 3 cases here:

Ideal case:
There is no rule that you have to give away your salary to your husband. I think when you are running a family its important not to think the money earned as 'earned by wife' or 'earned by husband'. when you make it two different entities you tend to count on everything n start comparing on whose spending how much of it. thinking it as one and thinking it as spending for your family would make the life more easier !! Family always runs on mutual understanding

Trust husband and can share upon request:
When you have enough trust on your husband(like you owe a good relationship ) and he asks you of sharing your salary for home management i don't really think its wrong to sharing instead of unnecessarily arguing or raising questions for arguments.

No trust No sharing:
There is definitely some thought process required if you are not in sink with your husband . Insecurity being the reason, you could decide to keep all that you earn for yourself and save your future.

 

A word of caution...study your situation/surroundings before handing off the paycheck to DH. Smartly have to gauge, how he will spend it?

Generally advisable, save the salary towards major purchases and spend it towards investments.

Personally, I get carried away when paying gifts to India and my DH is good in putting limits/restrictions. I usually listen to him. Probably, those ladies were talking about their limitations on purchases, not necessarily the approval.