Do Depressed Men Harm Ex-love?

FE40 · Sep 18, 2017

Few, who have read my earlier posts may recollect my story.

In short, am a divorcee of mid age, was in a long distance relationship with a divorcee, for about 5years before i broke up last year.

Broke up because, i came to know that he was very much in touch with his ex-wife everyday and went on vacations with her and his son. Since, it was a long distance relationship, came to know of it much later.

After i broke up, initially he was threatening to commit suicide. Then things became normal, no harrassment from his end. Hopefully he was living happily.

Since he lives in another city i dont know what is happening at his end, i presumed that he was living with his wife and kid.

But of late, he has started threatening me, saying that he is staying alone, and that he will harm me, if i dont talk to him, etc etc. Sometimes, he texts me saying that he has never loved anyone more than me and sometimes the texts are threatening saying that he will destroy me, etc etc.

Have blocked him everywhere, mail, whataspp, etc. But still he calls me at office and says that i will have to call him, if not he will see to that am destroyed, etc.

Everytime, he reaches out, i have only one answer to him, 'live peacefully with your family, stop disturbing me', but there is no end. The cycle repeats. Every weekend i receive his texts. If i dont reply, after few days, call comes to office landline.

For over a year, it was mostly persuasion texts, but of late it has become threatening texts, which has put me to deep depression.

Once, i was depressed so much over other issues happening in my life, and when his texts added threatens, i even contemplated suicide as an option.

How to get rid of this situation? Do depressed men harm others? Do they go to the extent of destroying others?

VaishaliYadav · Sep 18, 2017

Why don't you take the police help????

ashneys · Sep 18, 2017

Few options:

Lodge a police complaint.

If you have any contacts in your family or friends or extended circle, can use them. Like lawyers, politicians, or anyone that can actually scare him.

Reaching out to the ex wife.

Scare you will say something bad about him to his child. - You too can threaten with some things and ask him to stop.

Reach out to his family like parents, siblings.

He sounds like an unstable person, threatening you, even two timing with you n his ex. So not trust worthy or reliable or stable. Do everything you can to protect yourself.

Dishaa · Sep 18, 2017

Dear Op,

Please be BOLD & file an FIR against him and disclose all the messages and threats you receive. Request you to approach medical counselor for ur depression.

Note these types of freaks are no worth of ur precious life and time.

Take care

happydheivanai · Sep 18, 2017

Police complaint is the only answer .go to women police station

SGBV · Sep 19, 2017

Since you have got nothing to do with him, lodge a police complaint immediately.
Give them all the details, including his present whereabouts etc.
Let them handle their duty of protecting you and the kids.
I remember, you are a mom of 2 daughters. So, it is important, you take extreme care on your daughter's safety too.
This guy may be threatening. But he needs to be shown the right place, else he will be a permanent disturbance in your life.

FE40 · Sep 23, 2017

@ VaishaliYadav
@ ashneys
@ Dishaa
@ happydheivanai
@ SGBV
Thankyou all. Yes, i will have no option other than police complaint, if the situation goes beyond my control.

Every weekend, it has become a habit for him, to harass me. One of my friend of other gender said that ' it is the alcohol in him which is doing the talking '. Dont know.

Drunkards- are they not aware of what they talk or do, while they are drunk?

Earlier, (before he gave back the vehicle to me, for which i had taken loan), i had forwarded his mails to his sibling and his son about details of his emotional blackmails, which were saying that he will commit suicide etc. But, neither his sibling (brother), nor his son bothered to reply.

I guess the whole of his family is aware of the drama he creates when he is drunk.

So, am silent as of now, if things go beyond limit, will immediately take action.

Have kept my friends and colleagues aware of the situation too.

vaas · Sep 24, 2017

@FE40 i dont understand what ur waiting.
U said if things go beyond limit, will take action. I am not sure what do u mean by things go beyond limit. Do u think right now its under limit?
I seriously suggest u to take action now instead of waiting for something bad to happen. Whats holding u back??

It doesn't matter if he is doing this while he is drunk or not.

He cheated u. He uses u. And still it looks like ur showing sympathy to him. Plz stop that.

If u dont want to proceed legally, please search for a job in different and move. Make sure ur new city/company details are kept secret to him

Tamrakshar · Sep 24, 2017

This is not a simple case of a stranger harassing an innocent victim. One has to understand that this is a very complex case of a love-triangle. FE 40 had an emotional affairs with the guy for quite sometime. She felt cheated when she came to know about his other relationship. But, that didn't make him an instant villain. I have a feeling that if the guy can cut off his other relationship for ever, and can commit himself to FE 40, she, still, can fall for her. Therefore, she is in dilemma.

I think FE feels that his threats are empty. They are meant to compel her to restart the relationship. I, too, feel that he will not harm her.

So, this waiting game is not a bad ploy at all. However, if FE feels after sometime that this relationship has reached a dead end, she will have to act tough. Before complaining to the police, she must warn the guy. She has to give him a chance.

tallqueen · Sep 24, 2017

Strictly tell him it's seriously over between you and him. Give him a firm final warning that if he doesn't stop bothering you, then you will report to the relevant authorities and make sure you do so if he gets back to you again.