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Infuriated That Useless People Cannot Respect My Boundaries

Discussion in 'Friends & Neighbours' started by ChennaiExpress, Jul 1, 2017.

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  1. Jul 8, 2017 #11
    nb25

    nb25 Gold IL'ite

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    I asumed it was work - related chit chat among co workers, and he was same with every one.

    If that's not the case, then of course you shouldn't bother about him.

    I don't think there is any thing wrong in talking professionally to your older co worker, and see where it goes.
     
    nb25, Jul 8, 2017
    nb25, Jul 8, 2017
    #11
    ChennaiExpress likes this.
  2. Jul 8, 2017 #12
    ChennaiExpress

    ChennaiExpress IL Hall of Fame

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    Thank you ..... as for older gentleman he's not a coworker, just someone who is in related industry and speaks at many conferences (he's got a lot on his plate!). When the time comes we'll see!
     
    ChennaiExpress, Jul 8, 2017
    ChennaiExpress, Jul 8, 2017
    #12
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  3. Jul 11, 2017 #13
    ChennaiExpress

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    Thanks for the link it really opened my eyes.

    I see lot of my behavior except I have a lot of internal energy just dying to vine out.

    I akways scared people away in social situations by talking to much, starting nonsensical conversations, etc.

    And if someone makes me uncomfortable I fantasize about screaming at them to stop.

    And I am non-confrontational type.

    Now I cope by
    - not raising my voice
    - don't talk unless someone talks to you first
    - put unchannlled internal energy into artwork, writings, etc


    I wish I knew this earlier ... if I could recognize I wouldn't feel so bad.
     
    ChennaiExpress, Jul 11, 2017
    ChennaiExpress, Jul 11, 2017
    #13
  4. Jul 11, 2017 #14
    Umanga

    Umanga Gold IL'ite

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    You are welcome.

    Another excellent website you can check out is Introvert, Dear

    I wanted to see if you liked the first before sharing the second.

    Human beings are highly driven creatures. Introverts are no exceptions. Extroverts like to expend their energy on talk with others whilst we like to conserve it and use it to create art.

    I have been in exactly the same position. The West encourages such bizarre antics. Indians don't tolerate this and so introverts in India are forced to stay quiet in group situations.

    This thread is a great example.

    This is the correct strategy. Avoid social interactions (with those who mean nothing to you) as much as you can. For support, use this forum as well as the sub-reddit for introverts.

    Indeed. Many lives could be saved if people became aware of the concept of introversion.

    You shall recall your initial resistance to being classed as an introvert. As soon as you open yourself up to it, many things become possible, primarily happiness and joy.

    Edit: Another concept you could benefit from is Elaine Aron's concept of "Highly Sensitive People" or HSP's for short. It is a sister concept of introversion and those who are introverts are often also highly-sensitive. Here is a link to her book where she introduces the concept. Let me know if you have trouble downloading it. Here is a link to her scientific articles which are often more compact and detailed than her book.
     
    Last edited: Jul 11, 2017
    Umanga, Jul 11, 2017
    Umanga, Jul 11, 2017
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  5. Jul 12, 2017 #15
    ChennaiExpress

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    Thank you for these resources .... will check these out!


    EDIT: What's scary and interesting is Introverts can attract Malignant Narcissists. They will make the Introvert believe that anything they do is wrong ...... and I was about to introduce myself someone who fits this description (never met the person, just heard him talk at various points - what anyone can read between the lines of what he says and then does [or doesn't do] is scary!)
     
    Last edited: Jul 12, 2017
    ChennaiExpress, Jul 12, 2017
    ChennaiExpress, Jul 12, 2017
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  6. Jul 17, 2017 #16
    ChennaiExpress

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    Hey Umanga!

    May I suggest including a link to the Introverts website on your signature. This may help lot of people on these forums.

    One thing though ---- there is a difference between Introvert and someone who is socially awkward, i.e. doesn't know what to say, or most importantly doesn't have defined set of boundaries.

    There may be ladies on these forums who love to doll up, socialize, but encounter unfriendly IL, neighbors, etc, hence they shun social interactions.

    Doesn't mean they are introverts but rather they need to establish boundaries - something I am working hard on.

    On the other hand, isolating yourself because you are unable to defend yourself from taunts can make you discover talents you never had, such as music, painting, writing.


    Food for thought :thumbsup:
     
    ChennaiExpress, Jul 17, 2017
    ChennaiExpress, Jul 17, 2017
    #16
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