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What Does This Mean??

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Sweety2016, Jun 26, 2017.

  1. Sweety2016

    Sweety2016 Gold IL'ite

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    Hi all
    Coming back after v long time..had been super busy with my baby who turned 1 yr two days back...I seek all of your wishes and blessings for her...
    Two weeks back we have been to our native to visit both set of parents..finally mil went back to her native last year after a big showdown last year and am not in talking terms with her...it's just minimum conversation we had this time when we met whenever necessary...we met my parents who gifted so many things for the baby n then went to sil house ( mil lives near to her and mil came to sil when we visited).sil sweet talks like hell.she was instrume ntal in packing off mil..is rich..we got some gifts for her children... basically she made our stay at her place excellent. I literally enjoyed being there.. children were also loving..she lends money to hubby whenever needed...so I expected her to give some gifts to my baby...but to my surprise she gave nothing literally...not even 10 rs worth doll and I was completely disappointed...she just kissed both of us and wished good while we left..whereas mil had the courtesy to give my baby atleast a pair of dresses.. whereas for both her children me n hubby have gifted good clothes toys n also gold...as an aunt can't she even do minimum??
    When I told this to h he defended them saying they were busy with new business though he felt the pain...I am now wondering whether all her care she exhibits is just eye wash?? Ladies throw some wisdom on me..
     
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  2. Elsa

    Elsa Gold IL'ite

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    OP, if your SIL has been hospitable to you and kids, takes care of you well and isn't rude to you, I would say take the gifting part easy. You have been courteous enough to take gifts for their children when you visited them. Take whatever she has gifted you and if you feel you have given her kids a lot more than what she has gifted your kid in return, there is always a next time. You can buy less number of gifts or less expensive ones next time, for her kids.
     
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  3. Sandycandy

    Sandycandy IL Hall of Fame

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    Your SIL was a good host , is that not enough for you ?
     
  4. ashneys

    ashneys Platinum IL'ite

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    Let it go. It's hard to find good hospitable sil's like yours.

    Maybe you feel cheated or confused regarding the gifts part. But other than this, she has been very good to you, right? One good, one bad - it's always a mixed balance.

    If she means more to you, don't ruin this for a few gifts, instead feel that the relationship is more valuable.
     
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  5. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Are these two correct about your SIL:
    i) She was instrumental in packing off your MIL to her native.
    ii) She lends money to your hubby whenever needed.
     
  6. Sunburst

    Sunburst Platinum IL'ite

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    Sorry to re-iterate the title of your post - what does this mean ??

    Please throw some wisdom on us.
     
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  7. venlax

    venlax Silver IL'ite

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  8. venlax

    venlax Silver IL'ite

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    sil is having many positive aspects.why can't u appreciate.it is natural to get hurt when people close to us give us disappointments contrary to our expectations.just one gift issue ,take it off from ur mind & continue ur good rapport with sil.
    "The woods are lovely dark & deep but i have promises to keep & miles to go before i sleep
     
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  9. Sweety2016

    Sweety2016 Gold IL'ite

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    Thanks ladies, ya I can v well ignore it but this is our child's first bday...ever since her birth she has done nothing to her..but she talks like anything..why talk if she doesn't have the heart? Mil created unnecessary scenes even after we gifted gold toys dresses etc when her kid was born saying it's not enough..but what about now??
    Rihanna ya both your pointers are true but h has also given money to her when he had..
     
  10. mybaby1

    mybaby1 Gold IL'ite

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    Hi, sweety i can perfectly relate to you as has been through the same situation. When my son was born my one sil gave a 3 gm thread like chain and on my other son nothing at all but when her child was born she n mil wanted everything from chain ,bracelet, pendent ,finger ring all.. We did a mistake by giving gold set when our first child was born but corrected in the next child by giving just clothes..
    So basically learn the lesson for future and act accordingly and as per sweet talks don't get in the trap and watch the actions and act.This is what i have learned with time.
    And the mil part they are always inclined towards their daughters what ever they do thy are always good and right so don't lend any ears to her.
    Do what is right according to you. and yes money matters(not to millionaires may be which i am not) & so does the relationship but it has to be mutual not one sided in all respects.
     

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