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My Story Of Rebuilding Myself Post Divorce

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by blackbeauty84, Jun 22, 2017.

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Jun 26, 2017 #21

blackbeauty84 IL Hall of Fame

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PushpavalliSrinivasan said: ↑

@blackbeauty84
There was a time when women had to put up with all kinds of mental and physcial torture and divorce was a taboo subject.

You are really brave and you have now accomplished so many things and do hope that you will have a bright future.
PS
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Thank you for your wishes mam

blackbeauty84, Jun 26, 2017

blackbeauty84, Jun 26, 2017

#21
Jun 26, 2017 #22

blackbeauty84 IL Hall of Fame

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satchitananda said: ↑

Dear BB,

So delighted to read your narrative. I am really impressed with the positivity that your post exudes. Of course, that comes only second to your positive attitude in the darkest of times. If I have to choose one attitude of yours which I love most from this post it would be this:

.

Wish you all the very best always BB.
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Thank you mam.. I think focusing on something positive helped me to sail through dark and tough times.

blackbeauty84, Jun 26, 2017

blackbeauty84, Jun 26, 2017

#22

satchitananda likes this.
Jun 26, 2017 #23

blackbeauty84 IL Hall of Fame

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knbg said: ↑

Hi BB....
That's awesome girl....!
A clear mind and a beautiful heart you are blessed with... Stay blessed!
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Thank you knbg

blackbeauty84, Jun 26, 2017

blackbeauty84, Jun 26, 2017

#23
Jun 26, 2017 #24

blackbeauty84 IL Hall of Fame

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meename said: ↑

I too underwent a divorce. Got married 2nd time . Have small small problems . But recently sorted out those problems too
After divorce I felt worst . I had undergone so many horrible days with 1st marriage
I followed few things like u .
1. I wrote diary n hired it . I vented out everything in that
2. I got few good friends with whom I spent most time. I enjoyed my time with them. I avoided being idle and would roam with some or other friends to divert
3. Joined art classes n dance classes
4. Shifted company n took care of my career
5. Read lots of books, magazines
6. Spend time with my friend's baby and she was an angel to save me from depression
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That's awesome meename. Good to know about the things you did for diversion. Have an awesome married life.

blackbeauty84, Jun 26, 2017

blackbeauty84, Jun 26, 2017

#24
Jun 28, 2017 #25

Layanj New IL'ite

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Good post

Layanj, Jun 28, 2017

Layanj, Jun 28, 2017

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Jun 28, 2017 #26

venlax Silver IL'ite

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blackbeauty84 said: ↑

A short about me: I was married at the age of 26. I came out of marriage within a year because of mental torture and abuse. I got my divorce papers in a year.

I was shattered, broken down and desperately wanted to come out of the mess. I was low in confidence and my eldest brother motivated me to rebuild myself first. I took some baby steps and it took me really two years to build myself stronger.

Here’s how I went about it:

Writing: I maintained a diary to write what I was feeling. It was very much necessary to vent out my feelings and writing it down in a diary helped me to exactly do it. At this stage I started writing short stories for my office blog.

Work: I gave my very best to work that time by giving 100% concentration. I didn’t put long hours in work just because I didn’t have a family. I see many people stretching at work just because their marriage/love life failed. You will do more justice to work if you spend only the time required. There are several things in life to be explored with time available.

Weight Loss: I was exploring things I didn’t do earlier. I enrolled myself in swimming class and what a thrill it was to learn floating and swimming. I also joined Zumba classes and loved it. All this helped me gain confidence and gave me more inclination in life.

Toastmasters: This was the stage I joined the toastmasters club and it changed me towards better in many ways. I remember the first time I stood in stage and couldn’t even speak for 20 seconds and eight months later I was competing in a speech contest before 300 plus people. Also it gave me an amazing set of friends whom I cherish till date.

Surrounded my life with positive people: Many people thing marriage failure as personal failure, your life will turn good if you cut contact with them. I have a small group of friends who just loves me, understands me for the way I’m.

Ignore, Ignore, Ignore: From milk man to distant relatives will have an opinion of why your married life didn’t work. Just remember these are opinions.No one knows what you underwent. One of my neighbour asked how am I able to walk in street post the marriage failure. I just replied if you can ask this question and been seen , so can I. I learnt the art of ignoring which was a real saviour.

Hobbies: This was the time I learned fashion jewellery. I was amazed that I could design jewellery well and it was fun learning something new to broaden your horizons.

Finance: Nothing makes you feel independent than to sort out your finance. I learnt about various things about investing and I bought a flat that time. Buying a house was a big milestone in my life.

I think some of this or all of this helped in building a better person. It helped me to do something meaningful and spend my time effectively.

I will write soon about my groom search and married life.
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venlax, Jun 28, 2017

venlax, Jun 28, 2017

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Jun 28, 2017 #27

venlax Silver IL'ite

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Appreciations to u from the depths of heart .u had underwent a long struggle for this.The Ego of most of the men wants to hurt the other gender like his love/attraction.It is difficult to escape from both.
In one of the astrological magazines it is said that these type of problems in marriage are "one time Dosha" & the next marriage will be all right. I pray to Goddess Kamakshi to bless u with a understanding & loving spouse & good children.
Some of the points u said will apply to other situations/problems also. Should never break down to others comments. The more u do the more they will irritate u. Diversion is the best remedy . Even the torturing grief due to death of beloved ones is overcome by this.Not only financial independence but physical independence is also necessary to lead our own life. The later can only be understood by sick & aged people.
May God bless u dear!
Pl make it a point to help people who are in ur past plight .
" The woods are lovely dark & deep but i have promises to keep & miles to go before i sleep"

venlax, Jun 28, 2017

venlax, Jun 28, 2017

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Jun 28, 2017 #28

RohiniVenkat Silver IL'ite

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Wow things

You are a great example for the one's who had bitter experience in their past.

RohiniVenkat, Jun 28, 2017

RohiniVenkat, Jun 28, 2017

#28
Jun 29, 2017 #29

blackbeauty84 IL Hall of Fame

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Layanj said: ↑

Good post
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Thanks Layanj

blackbeauty84, Jun 29, 2017

blackbeauty84, Jun 29, 2017

#29
Jun 29, 2017 #30

blackbeauty84 IL Hall of Fame

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venlax said: ↑

Appreciations to u from the depths of heart .u had underwent a long struggle for this.The Ego of most of the men wants to hurt the other gender like his love/attraction.It is difficult to escape from both.
In one of the astrological magazines it is said that these type of problems in marriage are "one time Dosha" & the next marriage will be all right. I pray to Goddess Kamakshi to bless u with a understanding & loving spouse & good children.
Some of the points u said will apply to other situations/problems also. Should never break down to others comments. The more u do the more they will irritate u. Diversion is the best remedy . Even the torturing grief due to death of beloved ones is overcome by this.Not only financial independence but physical independence is also necessary to lead our own life. The later can only be understood by sick & aged people.
May God bless u dear!
Pl make it a point to help people who are in ur past plight .
" The woods are lovely dark & deep but i have promises to keep & miles to go before i sleep"
Click to expand...

Thanks for your valuable comments Venlax. Definitely I'm helping out the people who are in the same situation as mine. Most of the time they require a person who will hear them end and give an unbiased advise.

blackbeauty84, Jun 29, 2017

blackbeauty84, Jun 29, 2017

#30

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