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Married In Perfectionist Family

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by tanya3, Mar 31, 2017.

  1. Anusowmyan

    Anusowmyan Gold IL'ite

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    Time is the cure, don't lose hope. everyone of us are born &brought in a different set up, so we have different perspectives. do what ever you do in a routine way, she will definitely notice it at first, appreciate you only at later date. start with your room, make over or improvise in your style, exhibit any of your paintings or artwork, (if you have done, other wise it's o.k.)
     
  2. sindmani

    sindmani Platinum IL'ite

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    My husband finds fault with neatness and micromanage. our home. I have to hear lots of gyan and I used to get really anxious before, now a days I do my best and even after that if I get complains from him , I don't take it to my mind. I know I have done my part.
     
  3. harinideep

    harinideep Gold IL'ite

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    some ppl can do work better than others. If i do housework like the way my mom does it , I might get admitted in hosp for 3 days . She will do hell lot of work in a day where as from my childhood if i do lot of work , i get very tired and feel sick .
    Mostly people treat us bad or keep finding fault as long as we care about their words. Once they know that we give zero importance to it , initially they might get disappointed , but later they will stop irritating .
    Please enjoy your life . If we keep on doing these house chores 24 bar 7, we will keep doing till our last day in world and die without living life .
    There are greater things to do in life than just house chores. Yes , house chores are imp . but we cant waste our whole life for it
    If house is clutter due to many things , donate some items . I keep clothes meant only for a week and rest all be packed . After some days , i will pack the clothes and pull out new clothes. However at a time , only few clothes ll be in use . Same applies for all . Minimalizing will help us relax lot
     
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  4. blessings1010

    blessings1010 Gold IL'ite

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    dear OP, next time you feel overwhelmed by their demands of perfectionism, tell yourself
    "Perfectionism is self-abuse of the highest order" by Anne Wilson Schaef.

    Anyone who thinks they are perfect in everything that they do, they hardly find room for progress. So essentially they tend to stick to their own ( at times old) ways of doing things.

    You aim and strive for progress my dear not perfection.
     
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  5. Sandycandy

    Sandycandy IL Hall of Fame

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    Don't be disillusioned by your perfect MIL! Most in laws like to criticise their DIL's behavior and habits however normal the DIL might be. The more you try to match up to their standards the more they will expect from you. Try to do what you think is possible without stressing yourself . Be confident of your capabilities and yourself.
     
  6. Nonya

    Nonya Platinum IL'ite

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    Excuse me for this question.... are there places where a girl can go after work, with a couple of her friends, and get a snack and a drink, take the weight off her feet, have a chat, and relax before she goes home ?
    Boys go to a bar after work, have a beer with their friends, eat some slight snack, talk about sports and such, and then mosey on home leisurely, don't they ?
     
  7. harinideep

    harinideep Gold IL'ite

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    Used to do this . Would get down somewhere else before my stop , sit in a park , read some book, relax and then go . Because each day was a struggle .
     
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  8. Sani12

    Sani12 Bronze IL'ite

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    I feel like I am in the almost same situation as you. I got married 2 months back and everything I do is not "good enough" for them. Its not tht they are perfectionists (they kind of are, but not for me), but their wayof doing things is different than my way of doing things- there will obviously be some differences.
     
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