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Distributing Assets Equally Between Children

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous in Parenting' started by Rihana, Apr 26, 2017.

  1. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

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    @Shanvy feelings are mutual.
    This thread intended to gather different perspectives from different people. I shared my honest opinion here.
    I know truth hurts and it can pull some chords too. But sugar coated words wouldn't do any justice to this thread.
    This is a common subject and not an individual case. So opinions from different people shouldn't hurt anyone as nothing personal here.
    Let's agree to disagree.
    No need to judge me or condemn my way of opining.
    Nevertheless, I see what is written here and beyond too. But let's not digress this great thread further.
    Thanks and I rest my posts here.
     
  2. Sunshine04

    Sunshine04 Platinum IL'ite

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    Earning potential can be considered only to an extent in dividing properproperties.
    My fil property was given all to my bil
    Coz he don't have income.
    Its not fair to punish a hardworking son and reward a lazy son
     
    Rihana likes this.
  3. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Sunshine, a belated welcome to IL. Nice to read your posts. Many are from real life experience.
    We had a lot of discussion around this in the thread. Finally, I have come to the conclusion that if parents do it unequally, there is no way all children will be happy.

    I read in some posts that the well-to-do child(ren) will understand, and if parents brought up children well, that child will not resent getting less. I was thinking -- how about parents divide equally, and leave it to the well-brought-up well-to-do child to give all or some of his/her share to sibling? If parent trusts and believes that well-to-do child will understand, why not trust that child, give him his equal share, and leave it to him to give it up?

    Or, make the unequal distribution plans, but check with the well-to-do child if he/she is fine with it before implementing those plans or making them permanent in a will.

    Also, parents (and we as parents) need to think about the future of the siblings relationship. The parents will give one child more and go away. After the parents are gone, siblings have only each other from birth family. How will their relationship be when the parents are not there to hold the family together, to be a common point?
     
  4. Sunshine04

    Sunshine04 Platinum IL'ite

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    Thanks.iam learning from IL actually
     
  5. joylokhi

    joylokhi Platinum IL'ite

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    Speaking in general, what u say can be considered right. But taking a personal situation, where my youngest brother is around 50 years now, and yet not able to earn sufficient to sustain himself (due to a combination of bad home situation at the time and neglect, bad company ,mental retardation to some extent, laziness etc etc), after my father's death the other brother elder to him got a legal heir certificate and divided the property equally among us- 2 brothers, myself and my mother in writing legally. However, I handed over half my share to the other brother, who is very responsible and is looking after both this younger brother and my mother. Apart from that both myself and my brother, have decided to keep the amount with us safe and spend only towards my mother's and this brother's need infuture out of the inheritance. This is because, we know he will have no one in his last stages to see to him both physically and financially- and Im sure my father if he was living , would want it this way.
    So, there is no one solution or anything is right or wrong. It is just the compassion and willingness among the siblings involved to realise and accept , instead of thinking of what percentages can be got.
     
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  6. Sunshine04

    Sunshine04 Platinum IL'ite

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    A higher percentage is fine.
    All property should not be given.
    My bil is not impaired in any way.
    A lazy guy
    Did not finish even 10th .
    Property brought from my husband's hard earned money also was given to him by my in-laws..it's a long story.
     
  7. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

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    @Rihana
    Such decisions should be made after consulting with all the siblings, including the giver and the receiver.
    The giver (i.e the well-to-do sibling) should be happy and open to share all or part of his inheritance with the not so well to do sibling.
    The receiver (the not-so-well to do sibling) should be in agreement to receive everything or part of his/her siblings' assets. Not all the poor/looser sibling like to grab everything. They have their own prestige and own reasons to say NO too.
    So, a good communication is a must here.

    Parents can give their concerns, and be the advocate to the poor sibling in case they honestly feel the poor one highly needs the asset to lead a basic life.
    The other siblings can also give their concerns, and depending on everyone's comfort level the equations may vary.
    For ex: Parents can say 20:80 between rich and poor children respectively. But they can make it as 40:60 or so depending on their practical reasons.
    Eg: A rich sibling might have a health issue or a problem in his work place which can definitely affect his financial capacity down the line.
    Whereas, the poor sibling might have passed an exam and awaiting for a posting - which will eventually raise his living standard.
    No one is permanently rich or poor. So, these things needs to be openly discussed.
    If all the parties are reasonable (and I believe in blood relationships), there won't be any issues here. The heartaches will go away if love comes before money.

    But as you say, if the parents make decisions on their own without consulting all the children, it can surely leave heartaches and permanent damage between siblings relationships after parents' time.
     
    blindpup10 likes this.

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