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If You Don't Obey Me..leave The House..am Jus Fed Up

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Bestmom, Apr 22, 2017.

  1. Bestmom

    Bestmom Silver IL'ite

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    Hi friends..
    I don't have any other place to vent out..those who follow my post know my story....nowadays am freaking out..adjustment is becoming very difficult..
    2 thoughts cm up in my mind either divorce him or jus leave this world...(I don't have tat much guts to do tat)..
    Every time when I argue..he jus says if u don't obey me..don't be with me..which is the most irritating word..tats the only reason am in separate city with isolated life..as am dependent on him..I don't have any choice to go submissive..
    This is really making me mad.
    Guys pls help me
     
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  2. ChennaiExpress

    ChennaiExpress IL Hall of Fame

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    Check the laws of where you are.

    In some places, depending on how long you have been married, you have equal right to live where you are married.

    These come under Tenancy laws.

    In some US states if an annoying relative lives in your place for more than 30 days, you cannot kick him out without due cause because he is now considered a tenant.

    This jerk cannot kick you out into the streets.

    Please check with a lawyer.
     
  3. DDream

    DDream Finest Post Winner

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    Tough to manage or love these type of people. Are you working. If not any chance to find a job. Financial independence may place you in a better position.

    Next time if he say 'don't be with me', tell him "if that is what you want me give me divorce,let the whole know the way you treat me...by law all property should be devided 50_50 or need to give alimony.. give me that I will go..."( not asking you to divorce simple say it) ..see how he responds.. based on that you need to change your way to deal this.

    Many men use these kind of dialogues to control women. You are his wife so you better what make him upset .. do that.. let him also feel something...if he treats you this way, he will get some reaction..for every action there is equal and opposite reaction.he should learn that.

    Or just neglect all these and do what you want to do.. don't obey what you don't want to obey, let him tell whatever he wants.dont respond... soon he realise these dialogues don't work with you.
    Even though, I wrote these here, figure it out what works for you..
     
    Last edited: Apr 23, 2017
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  4. Bestmom

    Bestmom Silver IL'ite

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    Thank you..seriously I want to let the whole world hear this..want to legally out of him..but tat is another mess..am now living in separate city..so I never want to live with him as I get to hear this words..how I do say these tat it really really hurts me.. He least cares if I say also.. He said this as I want to work..he doesn't want me to be independent..
     
  5. Sunshine04

    Sunshine04 Platinum IL'ite

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    If you can work, do it ASAP.
     
  6. DDream

    DDream Finest Post Winner

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    Very painful situation.
    You need to figure it out what you want in life. Do you like to continue like this as his wife or move ahead with your life. Whatever it may be, getting financial independence is a must. So try for a job. Let him say whatever he wants.
     
  7. Bestmom

    Bestmom Silver IL'ite

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    He is like a psycho..he will go any extreme..my parents are old..I don't want to be a burden.. And kids education gets spoiled if v go divorce..am getting mad..sometimes I feel like committing suicide along with kids..so v sleep peacefully
     
  8. Bestmom

    Bestmom Silver IL'ite

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    When I said v don't want to live..he said to leave him alone and he will be happy rather than me troubling him
     
  9. DDream

    DDream Finest Post Winner

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    Sorry OP, I don't know what to suggest something that may work for u ..but my 2cents.. think about it.. I know how tough it is emotionally to live this way

    Don't think anything negative, see positives in your life. Kids are your blessing. So live for them. If divorce ( should be the last thing to consider )is not an option, accept the reality. What I understood from your post is that you and kids are living away from dh. At least, you are away from the negative energy.

    Please dont link your happiness to your dh. If you can detach it from your dh, try that. So focus your energy for you and kids.Don't complain about dh to them... create your own world. Find out what brings you happiness..be active find some hobbies do whatever that brings you peace and happiness like listening to music/ watching TV or movies , reading books / friends...how is your dh to kids.. is he a good father

    .you have to be supersmart to find ways to handle him and use him for your kids and you while detaching your happiness from him( I don't know how one love a person who don't care about ones emotions).. accepting the reality is the first step.. thinking about what to do ..is the next... and try different options... etc..Use your brain not heart to handle this situation

    Good luck.. be strong.. be positive.. count your blessings..live for you.. your happiness is in your hands.. no one else can make you happy.
     
    Last edited: Apr 23, 2017
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  10. Bestmom

    Bestmom Silver IL'ite

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    My warm hugs to you dear..tats a wonderful advice u have given..feeling positive
     

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