Gunslinger Ganapathi

Cheeniya · Mar 26, 2017

If you are looking forward to a quick run through of the western stars of yore like John Wayne or Clint Eastwood, I am sorry to disappoint you. My love for them is eternal but I am on a different topic now. This is about a different gunslinger. It is about Gunslinger Ganapathi. Yes. You guessed it right. He is another of my club mates but this man has been with me right from school.

When we were in SSLC, which was an equivalent of 11th Standard of the present, we had a class teacher who was a specialist in Mathematics. When students tended to be unruly, he would say menacingly ‘Quiet or I will give you three knocks on your head’ He seldom gave effect to his threat and so we always took his warnings lightly. One day, he came to the class in a foul mood which was the effect of a fresh shave of his face! We always became very quiet and well-behaved when he came to class with a just-shaved face. The teachers of my time always went to a saloon for a shave once a month and they would be with a rough beard most of the time. The barbers of yore did not have the kind of sophistication that the modern hair dressers have. They had a long contraption which they sharpened on a leather belt hung on the wall. In that mode, they very much resembled a butcher! The effect of sharpening of the blade would depend on the length and coarseness of the beard. Our class teacher being a man of coarse beard of liberal proportion always got a knife with maximum sharpening. It was understandable that post-shave, he had a face which was on fire and the class extended the maximum cooperation by not causing him any further annoyance.

On this particular occasion, Ganapathi failed to notice the total absence of the fungus on the teacher’s face nor the respectable silence that others in the class maintained. He was in his usual noisy mode when the highly irritated teacher walked up to him and gave effect to his customary warning by giving him three resounding slaps. That action shocked him so much that he blurted out saying that he did not notice his shaving. This earned him a bonus of three resounding snaps. This was the turning point in Ganapathi’s life. Usually a jolly good chap, this incident sobered him a lot and laid the foundation for a no-nonsense chap. Not that he resorted to any punitive action if he people misbehaved with him but became menacing in words! ‘Get me my gun’ became his standard threat whenever anyone irritated him.

Once when an angry Ganapathi asked for his gun in an irate mood, a friend told him that his gun-carrier had gone to the toilet and the whole club roared with laughter, Ganapathy went red in the face! Thereafter, he dispensed with his gun carrier and switched over to a simple ‘Will shoot you’. That was the time that he earned his nick ‘gunslinger’.

He has given up his gun now, not because he has become a peace-loving guy. It is because his friends have started telling him that he would dislocate his shoulder if he carried his gun around. I have told you in the beginning that he is of my age and as infirm! A friend even suggested that he could switch over to a tiny pistol but we all vetoed it. Gunslinger Ganesan sounded any day better than pistol Ganesan, we pointed out.

Aging has this problem that the hard-earned nicknames of youth become totally untenable when people grow old. They may still have all the fire in them but to the outsiders, the fire would resemble ice! The famous King Bhagadatta of Kurukshetra war was so old that he had to tie his drooping eyelids up to prevent them from interfering with his sight! Nevertheless, he was one of the most feared kings. When I visited Ganapathi recently, he was shouting at the top of his voice. When I asked his son why he was shouting, his son replied that it was his way of showing his presence. ‘If he doesn’t shout, we get very worried’ he said.

The fear of not being noticed by anyone can be deadly, especially for a person like Ganapathi who has been in the limelight. I would go for the alternative, though. I prefer to be noticed by making people laugh instead of shouting at them!

satchitananda · Mar 26, 2017

Dear CS, a jolly good read as usual. This is one of the benefits of going to a club. One always has a lot of friends who besides all else serve as material to lighten up life (one's friends as well as theirs')

Poor guy, I winced when I read about the half a dozen slaps in quick succession delivered on his head. Now the resounding effect of those slaps might have remained with him in some cranny of his brain as the sounds of gun shots. Sad that his normally sunny predisposition was lost thanks to a teacher whose cheeks were burning from the barber's razor.

‘If he doesn’t shout, we get very worried’ he said.
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That's so common in our homes. A cousin complains that her family keep saying she talks too much. On days when she is miffed, she goes off into a silence and then all hell breaks loose, with her husband and kids trying to figure out what's wrong with mom.

When I talk normally, I am told not to shout. If I lower my voice, nobody hears and later say I never said what I say I said. When I talk after a silence of around 10 days thanks to being unwell, it is announced that Satchi is fine now. She is talking again. So to talk or not to talk remains the eternal question.

jayasala42 · Mar 26, 2017

Dear Cheeniya Sir,
Very interesting school experience wonderfully narrated in'Cheeniya paani'.Being contemporaries I can very well relate to the incidents.Male teachers on the day of shave and women teachers in red sarees were supposed to be rude.Our H. M. was the grand daughter of Health minister Rajan and in those days she used to come by car.Every 28th of the month she used to wear red mysore silk saree and we used to be very careful.As the SPL I had proximity to her more than anybody else.
In the lower classes kneeling down in the hot sun with hands raised was a common punishment.
Reg home work slip, doing the maths problem 20 times was another punishment.We will be asked to run round the school playground 12 times at noon.
If we forgot to bring composition notebook we had to write
I will not come to school without bringing composition notebook' and not" I will bring the composition notebook".
Situation changed when my children studied.My daughter was 3 and she was in LKG..2nd day in the school.Teacher was an Anglo Indian and she was wearing a mini frock.
My daughter went and asked innocently'Miss, are wearing jetty"as we used to ask our daughter.
The teacher took offence and gave a nice beating and sent a complaint.Next day I went to school.The teacher accused me for not teaching good manners to the child.The HM intervened and advised the teacher to dress up decently.
Another incident that still is in my memory. My son was in UKG and my daughter was in 4th standard.That was the day of giving progress reports. My daughter got 3rd rank.She kept her report card in her bag.
My son showed his card and got his father's signature.But my daughter's report card was missing.She was afraid to tell me.Three days passed .My daughter's report card was handed over by son to his teacher along with his progress report.UKG reacher handed over the report card to my daughter's class teacher who verified the card and sent word for me.The teacher showed the progress report to me and said,"Do you approve of her action? I noticed that against my husband's signature his name was written in small letters in pencil.My daughter pleaded ignorance,Her teacher daunted her in my presence.I was carrying my 4year old son.He immediately said,'Miss, I only wrote,Is it correct? Is it fine?'
The UKG teacher was brought.She told me that she was explaining the diff between capital letters and small letters and just for demonstration she had used the report card of my son and said' while signing Anand's father will sign as 'S. jayaraman' like this in small letters.The child took her sister's progress report and wrote his father's name in pencil in small letters.
The teacher felt sad.My daughter was upset for a day.
Now corporal punishment has been withdrawn legally;still intimidation in other forms continue.
Girls start adoring certain teachers and do exceptionally well in her subjects.
Today's show'Neeyaa naanaa' was about boys who fail in number of subjects each semester and vye with each other as to who keeps more arrears.
In these days of competitions and multi diversions it is very difficult to inculcate discipline even in one or two children.As I was contemplating about this your mail was recd.
Jayasala 42

Srama · Mar 27, 2017

Dear Cheeniya sir,

Oh my! What school did you go to? Life it seems was never dull for you, not that it is now. For some reason I could feel the sting the slap your teacher gave sir. We have been fortunate that way I think. If I were in Ganapathis place, I would change completely too. But that man is braver what with his gun and stuff. I am glad now he just uses his voice to make his presence clear. Age has its upside I guess, most definitely for others. I think almost all of us have that one friend who likes to show their presence in a particular way. As long as we see that trait, all of us go happily that all is indeed well.

Talking of shaving, my FIL was very particular that my son on his trips to India visits the barber. When my DS was perhaps 4 or 5, FIL has taken him to the barber, not wanting to go in (as he had already taken his bath), he sat out and my DS took forever to come out. On coming home, DS throws a fit and since then has not stepped into a barber shop. On inquiry, my FIL was told that my DS's English was incomprehensible and would not follow the barbers Kannada which led to all the drama. Reading your description, I cannot imagine what my DS would have done other than run out screaming.

Keep these posts coming sir. They not only put a smile on our faces but take us back memory lane as well.

shyamala1234 · Mar 27, 2017

Cheeniya said: ↑

If you are looking forward to a quick run through of the western stars of yore like John Wayne or Clint Eastwood, I am sorry to disappoint you. My love for them is eternal but I am on a different topic now. This is about a different gunslinger. It is about Gunslinger Ganapathi. Yes. You guessed it right. He is another of my club mates but this man has been with me right from school.

When we were in SSLC, which was an equivalent of 11th Standard of the present, we had a class teacher who was a specialist in Mathematics. When students tended to be unruly, he would say menacingly ‘Quiet or I will give you three knocks on your head’ He seldom gave effect to his threat and so we always took his warnings lightly. One day, he came to the class in a foul mood which was the effect of a fresh shave of his face! We always became very quiet and well-behaved when he came to class with a just-shaved face. The teachers of my time always went to a saloon for a shave once a month and they would be with a rough beard most of the time. The barbers of yore did not have the kind of sophistication that the modern hair dressers have. They had a long contraption which they sharpened on a leather belt hung on the wall. In that mode, they very much resembled a butcher! The effect of sharpening of the blade would depend on the length and coarseness of the beard. Our class teacher being a man of coarse beard of liberal proportion always got a knife with maximum sharpening. It was understandable that post-shave, he had a face which was on fire and the class extended the maximum cooperation by not causing him any further annoyance.

On this particular occasion, Ganapathi failed to notice the total absence of the fungus on the teacher’s face nor the respectable silence that others in the class maintained. He was in his usual noisy mode when the highly irritated teacher walked up to him and gave effect to his customary warning by giving him three resounding slaps. That action shocked him so much that he blurted out saying that he did not notice his shaving. This earned him a bonus of three resounding snaps. This was the turning point in Ganapathi’s life. Usually a jolly good chap, this incident sobered him a lot and laid the foundation for a no-nonsense chap. Not that he resorted to any punitive action if he people misbehaved with him but became menacing in words! ‘Get me my gun’ became his standard threat whenever anyone irritated him.

Once when an angry Ganapathi asked for his gun in an irate mood, a friend told him that his gun-carrier had gone to the toilet and the whole club roared with laughter, Ganapathy went red in the face! Thereafter, he dispensed with his gun carrier and switched over to a simple ‘Will shoot you’. That was the time that he earned his nick ‘gunslinger’.

He has given up his gun now, not because he has become a peace-loving guy. It is because his friends have started telling him that he would dislocate his shoulder if he carried his gun around. I have told you in the beginning that he is of my age and as infirm! A friend even suggested that he could switch over to a tiny pistol but we all vetoed it. Gunslinger Ganesan sounded any day better than pistol Ganesan, we pointed out.

Aging has this problem that the hard-earned nicknames of youth become totally untenable when people grow old. They may still have all the fire in them but to the outsiders, the fire would resemble ice! The famous King Bhagadatta of Kurukshetra war was so old that he had to tie his drooping eyelids up to prevent them from interfering with his sight! Nevertheless, he was one of the most feared kings. When I visited Ganapathi recently, he was shouting at the top of his voice. When I asked his son why he was shouting, his son replied that it was his way of showing his presence. ‘If he doesn’t shout, we get very worried’ he said.

The fear of not being noticed by anyone can be deadly, especially for a person like Ganapathi who has been in the limelight. I would go for the alternative, though. I prefer to be noticed by making people laugh instead of shouting at them!
Click to expand...

Dear Cheeniya sir,
To be heard or noticed is a need for everyone. Nobody wants to be treated as non existent or ignored. Fighting is o.k. between two people but being ignored is difficult to take. Babies cry for attention and seniors want to be heard. Each one's language or traits may be different. But the basic need is the same. But reaction of people around is different for different ones.
In a way I feel sorry for gunslinger Ganapathi. When young his way of to be listened was different and as he grew old he took the route of shouting! Especially for those who were in limelight. Isn't it a pity that he behaves like that?
We have a set image of people. If they deviate from what Imagined we wonder why they are like that! Those who are silent, we are surprised when they chatter a lot and vice versa. Even in books we have a set image of each writer. We can't take them in any other way. Wodehouse or Sherlock Holmes and many others we do not like to see them writing in any other style.
Thank you.
Syamala

Cheeniya · Mar 27, 2017

@satchitananda

My dear Satchi
What a feedback that was! I too have heard you in person and I can't complain that your decibel level is not adequate enough to catch what you say. On the contrary I should say that if it is strong enough to pierce my ears, you must be fairly loud. Whenever my granddaughter has to perform in a school play, she delivers the dialogues to me and she is satisfied if I am able to hear every word she utters!
Indian households are generally noisy and if any member becomes suddenly silent, it would be an indication that she is miffed about someone or something. The entire household will be worried until the reason for her low decibel is found out. This silent strategy is usually more effective than all the shouting as my friend does in his house.
Sri

Cheeniya · Mar 27, 2017

@jayasala42

Dear jayasala
What a feat of a narration! Your school life had been more or less like mine except that system of punishment was slightly different in boys' school. My school celebrated Centenary when I was in 6th class Only students of classes 9 and above called high school students were admitted for the festivities. While my elder brother who was in SSLC was admitted, I was not. I stood at the gate and cried buckets along with a few other cry-babies! My brother waved his hand from the first floor and signaled me to go home.
My Sanskrit teacher had a different way of punishing us. He would call us near his seat and tickle us until we laughed ourselves to a point of fainting! I was not very strong in Sanskrit and took it merely because of family tradition. But I managed to get good marks by supplying fresh Thulasi leaves to my devout teacher! He would warn me that if I showed my answer paper to anyone, he would give me a zero in the next exam. My history teacher would bend the fingers of the right hand backwards until we cried out in utter pain. But such punishments used to be very rare and the teachers were otherwise very affectionate. We never harbored any ill will towards the teachers.
Oh, those were the days!
Sri

Cheeniya · Mar 27, 2017

@Srama

My dear Srama
A jolly good FB! I loved your son's visit to the barber with his granddad. Even in my family, a trip to the barber would involve all the cloth that we wore to the saloon being ashed separately and a head bath for us. Nowadays only old guys like me follow the ritual. But when I compare the saloons of my youth and the present day, I am amazed. In our days, we were made to sit on a high chair with no facility for tilting or turning. Today, the chairs are cushioned, can be turned 360 degrees and can be pushed back till your head almost touched the ground. But in those days, the chairs being a high wooden one the barber had no facility to turn the chair to bring the area of operation directly under his scissors without himself having to move. My barber would turn our head in all directions like what the young possessed girl in The Exorcist' would do to scare the wits out of us. After the hair cutting is over, he would give the head some vigorous massage like a seasoned percussion artist. Let me tell you, today's saloons are a big bore!
Sri

PushpavalliSrinivasan · Mar 27, 2017

Dear Mr Cheeniya,
Your gunslinger Ganapathi made us all to go down the memory lane of our school days. Up to the primary level I studied in Municipal Girls school. I studied at a coeducational school for two years after that. There all teachers were male teachers. Each one had a different style in punishing students. But they never used to punish girls.

One teacher whose name was Rajaram used to box the ears of the boys and would say, "kacheti koozai kottindu benchintheykava vanthay?"

Another teacher used to pinch the thigh of the boys who used to wear half pants only. One more teacher used to tell the student to put out the hand and he would beat with a cane.

During my childrens' school days in the coeducational convent school the punishment was to run round the school five times in the hot Sun, but girls were punished by writing imposition.

Nowadays teachers avoid giving punishment fearing repercussion from parents. Yet recently in a private school a teacher pinched a child in too many places of the child's hand and it was in the news.

Leave alone the teacher giving punishment, but a mother told in the recent Neeya Nana programme that she used to pour boiling oil on his son's hand because he got fail marks in many subjects and also rubbed mashed green chili in his eyes.

These kind of punishment will make the children violent and they will start hating the mother.

Teaching needs too much patience. When parents can't manage two children, a teacher has to deal with 25 to 30 children in a class.

kkrish · Mar 27, 2017

Dear Sri sir

I was singing "Gam Ganapathe" when I logged in and saw "Gunslinger Ganapathe" I could not help the grin at the coincidence and the irony.
I did wonder if a new version of Ganapathi idols - a melding of Clint Eastwood with tusk and trunk - had hit the market with a logo "Come, make my day" emblazoned on the tiny pedestals.
We see so many Ganapathy idols, sleeping Ganesha, musical Ganesha, tabla playing Ganesha, so it will not be surprise if a gun slinger Ganesha came about.
I envy you your friends; such a fabulous variety they are. Life certainly is never dull in your part of the world.
I winced as I read the six slaps in succession and it was sad how an energetic young child was subdued.
Mr. Ganesan's son's pragmatic statement is so profound in its implication it made me stop and reflect.

While I was working in India I came across a name Commander so-and-so. I thought he was from the army. It turned out that his family originated from Komandur and the British folks changed it to Commander.

I always wondered at the "Tiger" in Varadhachari's name. Would you know about it?

Enjoyed the humorous snippet sir.