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A Rule For Happy Marriage

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by snehalJoshi, Mar 1, 2017.

  1. snehalJoshi

    snehalJoshi Silver IL'ite

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    We see a lot of posts where girls are facing trouble in their married lives.
    I am nobody to give any tips on happy marriage because my marriage itself has been through so many ups and downs.

    Anyway, I'm not here to discuss my marriage or anyone else's marriage in particular.

    I was reading an article where it was mentioned that "After marriage the first priority HAS TO BE your spouse and ONLY spouse. You should not prioritize your own kids, parents, brothers, sisters, friends or anyone else over your spouse. It has be to your spouse." This was stated as a RULE for Marriage.

    Do you agree?

    I guess, if one can follow this rule throughout his/her life, marriage has to fall in place. I'm sure it is not easy. I may not be able to do it all the time. I don't know about others.

    Thoughts?
     
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  2. Sunshine04

    Sunshine04 Platinum IL'ite

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    I followed this rule and my marriage is in shambles.
    I have a question.
    In India it is said that After marriage
    The girl has to accept the husband, his family as her own family.is this true.
    How many of women actually follow this.
    After a kid ,who is more important
    The kid or spouse.?
     
  3. snehalJoshi

    snehalJoshi Silver IL'ite

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    I believe, the RULE says, both DH and DW must follow it. Only 1 person following it won't suffice.
     
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  4. Sunshine04

    Sunshine04 Platinum IL'ite

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    Oh ok.which Indian husband follow this?
     
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  5. snehalJoshi

    snehalJoshi Silver IL'ite

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    that is a good question.
     
  6. Marianne321

    Marianne321 New IL'ite

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    hey
    Grate.i am also appreciate both of them
     
  7. bruised234

    bruised234 Gold IL'ite

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    I think the first priority in any situation is the person themselves, that is what I learnt after 10 years of marriage, do anything you want, but don't do anything that harms self, any self-destructive action is not good for spouse or kids. First take care of self, then next priority are the kids and then the spouse depending on the situation. If the spouse's behavior is causing harm to the kids, then definitely the spouse comes next in line. On the whole the family matters, after all the spouse will help in the bringing up of kids, to that extent the spouse is more important than the kids. There is no general rule as such, do what is right, that is it.
     
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  8. Nonya

    Nonya Platinum IL'ite

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    The OP is saying that "when the marriage is good, then both DW and DH are following a rule".
    In reality, when the marriage is good, any rule for a happy marriage is as good as any other rule.
     
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  9. Vaikuntha

    Vaikuntha Platinum IL'ite

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    I agree with bruised234.
     
  10. sbonigala

    sbonigala Platinum IL'ite

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    No marriage works according to rules in books.
    Every marriage is different - what works for one - fails miserably for another , because no two people are wired the same way.
    Having said that, first priority must be for the "couple" not for a single person in the couple.
    If both H and W think that they are the top priority - there is no concept of being a couple.
    If they think their spouse is the top priority , self respect hurts after a while.
    There should be a balance of both - give and take - and that's the challenge - Challenge for both H and W
     
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