1. Want to be a Positive Parent? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice

Need Advise On Sending Kiddo To Day Care

Discussion in 'Baby Sitting / Day Care' started by jj324, Jan 18, 2017.

  1. jj324

    jj324 New IL'ite

    Messages:
    8
    Likes Received:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Gender:
    Female
    Hello beautiful ladies ,

    I am living in Germany with my husband and 14 months old daughter . I have some confusions going about in my mind regarding my choices that i made . Initially i had taken 1 year of maternity leaves when my DD was born . I returned to work last December and i am leaving my daughter in day care for 6 hours . I work part time i.e 6 hours per day . DD is not liking the day care at all. She cries as i leave her and when i go to pick her up . Am i doing any mistake by sending her to the day care ? Am I traumatizing her at this young age ? I know she needs some time . But i am not able to do anything when she is in the day care . I feel i am just letting her suffer in day care . Did anyone of you let your kids at the day care ? How did that turn out ? Please please give your inputs .

    Thank you very much
    J
     
    Loading...

  2. LD1234

    LD1234 Senior IL'ite

    Messages:
    47
    Likes Received:
    14
    Trophy Points:
    23
    Gender:
    Female
    Same with me too.. my daughter used to cry like anything.. at one certain point she got severe fever too.. I felt like I'm making her suffer as it's crucial time for bonding and more than anything she doesn't like to b with outsiders.. and here in India I have always had a fear that maids might mishandle the kid if she's crying or something like that.. my DD was too 14 months when I let her to day care within a month I just stop sending her... i quit the job.. I'm happy my daughter s no more so moody n all.. she's perfect.. even though my husband is against my decision I can't help it.. anything for my angel.. don't worry few kids will take sometime to adjust with the environment maybe it's same for u DD.. ask ur daughter care taker like how she's in ur absence.. if she's alright when ur not there then nothing to worry
     
    jj324 likes this.
  3. jj324

    jj324 New IL'ite

    Messages:
    8
    Likes Received:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Gender:
    Female
    Hi Laxmi ,

    i really appreciate your reply . That was very kind of you . And also i appreciate your decision of quitting job for your angel .Even i would never leave my baby with nanny or maid . You have done the best thing .
    My husband says i can leave the job but i know he is not 100% happy about it . My daughter cries while i drop and pick her up. When i asked the day care lady she says that my daughter was fine all day and she cried little bit here and there. But when i see her expression i feel she was devastated during the day . Right now i have come up with the solution that me and my husband work is shifts so that at least one is with her at home and i work 6 hours a day (part time ).Lets see how it goes. This idea came to me today while coming back from office .
    If nothing works i will quit for sure .Nothing is important than our kids right :)

    Thanks
    J
     
  4. LD1234

    LD1234 Senior IL'ite

    Messages:
    47
    Likes Received:
    14
    Trophy Points:
    23
    Gender:
    Female
    Wow that's really great.. ya whatever we do is cause of our kids.. life before kids n after kids is really very different once they come in to our lives they comes the first in our life.. they'll b our life.. :) I hope ur darling will be relieved if either of u r staying with her.. Happy parenting
     
    jj324 likes this.
  5. dnormx01

    dnormx01 Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    301
    Likes Received:
    531
    Trophy Points:
    173
    Gender:
    Female
    Can you request the daycare for CCTV footage or live camera access, so you can keep vigil as to what she's actually doing at the daycare and how they are attending to her as well. Sometimes kids just cry when they see moms but are fine the rest of the time. You will get an idea if this is the case or she's really troubled.

    Love to the lil one :)
     
    Last edited: Jan 19, 2017
    jj324 and LD1234 like this.
  6. jj324

    jj324 New IL'ite

    Messages:
    8
    Likes Received:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Gender:
    Female
    Hey dnormx01 ,

    thank you so much for the reply. CCTV is not possible here. You are right that she cries when she sees me. She doesn't cry when she is with her papa or in the day care (as told by day care people).
    I will try my best to put my thoughts that are lurking around in my brain .
    1. I feel daughter is too young to attend day care .
    2. Different kids have different characteristics. One kid may like going to the day care other may not like .
    3. When my daughter is at home . She is relaxed and plays normally.
    4. As soon she steps in the house after sending day at day care , she throws tantrums (may be she is venting out ,i let her cry and just hold her)
    5. She is still on breast feed.May be she remembers it and cries at the day care .
    6. My husband feels we should do what other people are doing (Sending kids to day care after they turn 1 is very normal in Germany even Indians here do that )
    7. We both are working parents . But i can quit and stay at home . May be my In laws don't like it (otherwise they are good. I have no issues with them) .My be i get less respect from people when they think that i am no more earning .(I think too much i feel)
    8. Last week my daughter was ill and she was at home . I observed her closely .She was far more happy at home than in day care . Today she went to day care and was crying when i dropped her. I saw her from the window and she was fine . But i feel that she is just holding herself till i pick her up. As soon as she sees me , she cries.
    9. My daughter can communicate little bit . What i did was i sang the same song which they sing in the day care every morning and asked her if she wants to go there . She was silent for some seconds and nodded her head saying "bya"(Beda in Kannada is "No")
    10. Husband feels we should try for another 3 weeks and see what happens.
    So many things happening in mind right now .

    Regards
    J
     
  7. dnormx01

    dnormx01 Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    301
    Likes Received:
    531
    Trophy Points:
    173
    Gender:
    Female
    I totally understand what you are going through OP. How long has it been since you put her to daycare? Sometimes kids take time to settle down. And another thing is, maybe she's unhappy with this one and so could you try another one? If she's saying no and you stop, there's also this thing that she'd get used to having things her way which is again tricky to deal with.

    Beyond all this, first of all stop feeling guilty for anything. Are you happy with work? Does it help you feel better? Forget what daughter, husband, in laws and some A,B, C have to say. Does going to work keep you in spirits and help you gain confidence? If yes, don't let go of the job and try to help your daughter out by calling at the daycare and speaking to her every couple of hours. Pack food she enjoys, let her take her favorite pillow so she can nap well and her favorite sipper etc.

    If you are not able to enjoy your work and feel being with your daughter is more worthwhile, then you can give up working. But as someone who did this, let me tell you after a couple of years, anyway the kids have to attend nursery and then school. So don't bicker about letting go of your job then.
     
  8. jj324

    jj324 New IL'ite

    Messages:
    8
    Likes Received:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Gender:
    Female
    Hi dnormx01 ,
    thanks for replying again .
    she started in October last year and there was a gap of 1 month after that .She started again in December , there was gap of 2 weeks because of Christmas vacations . This week 4 days gap because she was ill.
    I will consider your suggestion about other day care .
    I enjoy going to work . It really makes me feel good. But when the thought hits that daughter is in day care , i start feeling bad . But all in all i like working .
    She takes her favorite toy and sipper with her .The doll which she carries daily is the only thing that makes her feel better .
    I agree that she has to start after she turns 2 but 14 months is too young i feel.
    Sorry i am a confused soul now :(.

    Best regards
    J
     
  9. ashsummer

    ashsummer Junior IL'ite

    Messages:
    25
    Likes Received:
    6
    Trophy Points:
    13
    Gender:
    Female
    Daycare is my option! As far as I know, many daycare centres have a trial period of 2-4 weeks, so you'll know whether your child will be able to adjust there or not. The adjustment period can take up to three moths, but we were lucky. My dd (she was 2 years old then) adjusted in a week at Cozytime.
     

Share This Page