Will You Be Okay If Your Spouse Remarries After Your Death ?

sokanasanah · Mar 5, 2017

I am generally committed to my living forever, brain-in-a-vat POA. The only reason, the absolute single reason I signed the death contract was so that I could come back and haunt people. Remarry? Sure. My spectral from looks forward to meeting the new spouse. Mostly at inconvenient times, I think. Ahem.

madras2018 · Mar 5, 2017

Interesting responses. Now for an alternative real life perspective -

Through my extended network, I recently heard of a U.S based Indian woman who is terminally ill, possibly in her late 30s or early 40s, with 2 early teens children. She is now seeking a divorce in the time she has left, much against the wishes of her husband, for the simple reason as to protect her children's property/financial rights in the event of her husband's remarriage. Via divorce settlement, she hopes to protect their children's inheritance or atleast 50% of it, wealth that she helped create with her husband, should a new woman enter her husband's life- which might not be improbable given that he is still in his 40s.

So i guess she is giving her approval for her spouse's remarriage (or the inevitability of it) but senses, and correctly so, legal and financial ramifications. And if you were to look up any popular legal forum online, you'd find many questions posted by adult children who have been left high and dry by their stepmother/step siblings who walked away with everything after their father died.

The other angle/ consequence to consider is the possibility of shaking up father/children relationships in the event the new person doesn't quite gel with the kids. Sure the husband is a catch, after all the training, but the children matter too esp when it impacts their relationship with their sole surviving parent. This becomes important if there are minor kids involved or even young, adult unmarried children who may look to their father as an emotional anchor.

So quite frankly, this is not a straightforward thing as it has some serious consequences that warrant thought. Besides one can have a relationship and companionship without marriage too. It may be better as it has fewer legal implications while at the same time all parties are happy.

Doree · Mar 5, 2017

Madras2018, your post is very helpful and something to think about and plan accordingly.

Rise · Mar 5, 2017

Even after death why try to control a spouse decision?

Nonya · Mar 5, 2017

madras2018 said: ↑

....
Through my extended network, I recently heard of a U.S based Indian woman who is terminally ill, possibly in her late 30s or early 40s, with 2 early teens children. She is now seeking a divorce in the time she has left, much against the wishes of her husband, for the simple reason as to protect her children's property/financial rights in the event of her husband's remarriage. Via divorce settlement, she hopes to protect their children's inheritance or atleast 50% of it, wealth that she helped create with her husband, should a new woman enter her husband's life- which might not be improbable given that he is still in his 40s.

So i guess she is giving her approval for her spouse's remarriage (or the inevitability of it) but senses, and correctly so, legal and financial ramifications. ....
Click to expand...

I have not heard of this particular case. However, estate planning accountants and lawyers would suggest a divorce and division of the properties, if one of the wealthy couple is terminally sick. This has nothing to do with the potential wicked step parent swindle.

US medical care is notoriously expensive, and can siphon off a vast sum of money from the joint worth of a couple. If they are divorced, only half of that will evaporate, and the patient will become medicaid eligible. Medicaid is the government program to pay for the medical care of the poor.
I have known several older (over 50's) in such estate-planning situations. In one case, the woman married, before the ex-husband passed on, and the couple visited him in the hospital almost everyday.

There are cases where ultra wealthy, non-sick couples get divorced for tax advantage in USA. Perhaps they are preparing for one of them to get terminally ill.

sokanasanah · Mar 5, 2017

Duplicate.

Meet9 · Mar 5, 2017

madras2018 said: ↑

The idea behind this thread stemmed from this new york times article published today.

The article is titled "You may want to marry my husband" by Amy Rosenthal, a 51 year old Chicago writer who is apparently dying of ovarian cancer. Out of love for her husband, to whom she has been married for 26 years, and as a last valentine present, she thought she would make known his stellar qualities in the hope that he will not end up lonely after her death. They have a 19 y/o daughter.

All noble ideas. But is this even practical for the rest of us if we were in her shoes ? Is this selfless ? Is this what true love is supposed to look like ?

What are your thoughts ? Will you be able to do what the author did ?
Click to expand...

I love my DH so much..I would always worry about his well being, I would always think that NO ONE can love him the way I do, no one can take care of him the way I can...in fact, I would be worried someone may exploit his good nature and may cause him pain.....This could disturb his peace of mind and that I would not want.....unless I really know a person who is genuinely good at heart, whom I know for years and years....

sumzaya · Mar 5, 2017

I dont mind.. let him marry ... In India i felt like most men remarries and lead good life.., but widows never marries soo often.. they thnk of their children and some will power makes them feel they can live alone.., for.the sake of children 's well being.
My aunt after my uncle s death never allowed us to talk about remarrying som1.. she bcame so arrogant tht no one dared to talk tht matter, she was sooo young then. And personally seen many othr widows.
And recently heard another incident of.a widow with 4 daughters.. she dint marry for a long time.. but since her brother not getting alliances she agreed (proposal of bro wer rejected, as they thought her bro has to take responsibility of 4 girls n all -financially)....
So 2 daughters now with her and new DH and elder 2 at their late biological father's house.
...

poovai · Mar 5, 2017

Good, I will drop a word to my DH...

naanae varuvaen ingum angum ( I will come after you, here and there)
naanae varuvaen (I will come)
varuvaen
varuvaen

yellowmango · Mar 5, 2017

Yes, if he wants to
Only thing I would expect from him is to be fair to our daughters. Most likely he will enjoy living like a lone wolf doing all kinds of risky stuff I stop him from doing.My poor daughters will probably go nuts trying to keep a track of him .

P.s....just asked him.He says"where will I get another one like you