Just A Vent

I have no one to share what i am going through , the only person i can share everything with is the reason behind my sadness, main character of this vent.

I am not married yet but after being in a long relationship of about 6 years , me and my fiancee behave like husband and wife. I dont know if its fine or not bt thats nt the point here. The point is all of a sudden he has started taking me for granted. .
I could have never imagined that this would happen to me bt he is sooooo indulged in his work , he is a govt. Employee in department of posts , india. He has a 9-5 job. It was all fine till last november. Then he got transferred to another locality.

There staff is short and work load is more than before. I understand all this i am also working i know it is dufficult to find time for each other in office hours. My exepectation is very simple tjst we must spend time after office hoirs. Usually whenever he came back home ( we both leave at the same time almost ) , we both used to chat till we go to bed. We talk about our future life , some fun stuffs, some old friend gossips , about both our families , watch movies together ( he at his place n me at mine but at same time), watching each other's favourite tv shows. He helping his mom , me helping mine. This was our evening routine. At the end of the day we both have always slept peacefully and satisfied from life.


But these days from past 2 months specially, he is alwasy serious talking about work , office , bad collegues , cribbing all the time about work load , he dont bother to ask me whther i had my lunch or not , what is going on at my workplace , how my parents are doin. Which special day is coming.. nothing he responds to nothing. Our valentines went just like another day

I dont know what the reSon is, we used to talk over whatsapp hike etc till late in night , but nw he just went to sleep all of a sudden while talking to me by 11pm-12am. He is not at all cheating on me , i can really observe that if in case. But no he is loyal to me. I dont know if any mistake is from my end ? What should i do to make him relaize that i have some expectations that i want him to make me feel special. ( That i usually do by putting status for him, sending him various love quotes throughout the day , asking him about his meals , taking care of each Nd everything required by him. )

Should i try opposite ? Should i ignore him to see if he notices that ? I am afraid if he wont notice , i will be broken. Today also , i was telling him that i need his time more often and he just slept off in between the conversTion, i tried to wake him up but he said dont bother me , dont make my headache more inense , has he losen his interest in me ? I dont want to loose him , he dont want to loose me either , pblm is he has taken me for granted. He behaves like this at night and then say sorry i love you etc etc in the morning. I want his time may be just one hour only for me .... no other work in that time. Am i expecting too much ,????

 

He has just got transferred in December 2016 @Cantdecide , cant get another transfer for next 4 years. Actually the main issue is the transfer here. He applied for the transfer for his home town, but just a week before transfer he get to know that he has been transferred to some other sub-post office. That makes him negative and now because of that he is seeing only negative in everything about the workplace.

 

You are talking like him He just said this in the morning that i am behaving like a 5 year old girl who want all the attention. But thats not the case dear. I have been patient for 3 long months, i supported him for every issue. He used to talk about his office on our dates as well , still i never created an issue. I have always listened to him attentively , supported him, soothed him by suggesting solutions. But i also have some limits.

Long back before 2014 , when he was not working and i was . He used to fight with me for my time. I used to be really tired at that time because of that job responsibilities and long hours timings but i was not allowed to sleep in between the conversations otherwise no talking for about 2-3 days from his side. I dont want to raise the issues from the past but why the relationship rules are different from him and me . I am not a morning person, i like to sleep late on sundays, but he always wake up by 8 on sundays even. And i am supposed to be talking to him at that time sacrificing my sleep. I want him to understand that he is not the only person on earth who gets tired

 

u r right, i have been so habitual talking to him all the time that i have stopped giving time to myself. I am so naive ... i will do this from today onward, i will start writing something i am thinking about this for a very long time and didn't find time for it. may be i can do it now. I love zindagi, i hope zindagi also loves me

 

We are in different cities @yellowmango , he dont want to travel on sundays and dont allow me to travel alone to his city. Coz only way to reach is by bus and he dont feel it safe for me (I also dont feel safe). I dont want him to just talk to me all the time and only love stuff all the time, but does it hurt to say i love you all of a sudden without any reason ? i just need that to melt down my anger.

I am being supportive, may be i have to expect 1% and support 99% .... just want him to be happy yr. he is not listening to me when i am saying that leave your office in office only , dont carry the burden to home. 2 days he behaves fine and then again the same things start from 3rd day onwards. Dont know how to make him understand