Poor Communication

Yeah there are few apps now a days, both the team has to install it and keep it on( I forgot to on few times-id password !! ) so both can track each other...

I loved this idea... a short shock treatment back.. .So they won't forget it.

@guesshoo now calling boss is a good Idea

My mom used to do similar to this when I was in college ...Calling all my friends and then everyone will shout at me for not informing her !! .. (I just talked to her yesterday!!)

 

Guesshoo's checking with the boss is top of the chart.
Nonya's high premium term insurance idea deserves applause.


Combine the both with some theatrics and you have a winner.

 

@SGBV I know exactly how that goes. In my house MIL can stay without any trace of worry for weeks not hearing from any of her kids /grandkids but my FIL and my parents will go mad. DH and MIL are totally oblivious to these things. Its not that they don't care or love us ....it just how they are wired. Frankly I envy them.
When I leave town I even PM friends on IL to let them know I am out and will be back soon and when I don't see a poster for a few months I worry and hope they are ok...thats how I am.
It was a constant source of stress for me the first couple of years. I would ask him...do u even love me..how can u not care whether I reached or not . DH would say I know u will be ok.. an eternal optimist. Over the years he has gotten better seeing that it caused me a lot of distress but thats still not his natural state so every once in a while he slips . I taught myself to let go when I realized it was an unnecessary constraint I placed on DH for keeping my sanity. Strangely the letting go has been liberating. He will call me if he needs me and until then the default state is he is ok. Of course somedays now I forget to text him and after years of getting used to my texts he worries and frantically tries to reach me .

 

Both my DH and son, hide from me with that 'catch me if you can' attitude. A familiar scene in my house - 'how could you do this to me?'.

I know the feeling, it is the worst case scenario runs in mind! Such a nightmare.... I will be the worst spouse/mom saying... he is suppose to travel to XXX airport and then, drives 2-hours to xxxx on site for a week or is he at YYY place this week?

These are my rules...seems to be working for me:

(1) I also have their "boss" phone#, local contact ##s and their Term life insurance.
(2) I don't let DH/son walk out of the door, without their itinerary mail sent to me.
(3) Before departing/landing at airport, hotel check-in, and once a day by 9pm - SMS has to be sent to me.
(4) Mobile phones are not the best reliable source to reach out someone especially when you need them; excuses like battery dead, didn't "Ring", didn't see your message, I turned off, silenced forgot to turn it on, list goes on and on.

With these rules, I let them go off the hook! Still, time to time both try to escape without giving me the information.

I will not bother by calling them daily as long as one text message is sent to me by 9pm; because it is also "Daddy Mummy Veetil Illa Thada Poda Yarum Illa" week for me!

 

I have been on the guilty side of this! Let me explain from my perspective as the guilty party. First and foremost, it's not that I don't care or am being callous, I feel awful whenever I forget to do this but it still happens. It sounds like he has already improved a lot with being in touch with you / letting you know where he is, so that is one good thing. For me, I will tell myself all the way on the drive to wherever I am going "remember to text when you arrive, remember to text" then as soon as I open the door....I forget completely. As time has passed, I've gotten much better at it, but it is not natural for me and I don't think it ever will be. It's been frustrating for me too and I feel badly about it. It has helped that my partner is consistent in making requests to check in on me and not getting upset at me when I forget. If he gets upset then I feel defensive, but if he just acknowledges when I do finally check in that he received my message and is glad I'm ok, then I feel worse for worrying him. I agree to turn on my phone's location status so that he can see where I am, but that doesn't resolve his fear if I'm in an accident or something. The easiest habit for me has just become "check my phone frequently" this way I will catch it one way or another.

 

Same thing goes in my family. My husband has a preconceived notions that everything will be fine. My husband won't call and say he reached safely likewise he won't call and ask if I reached safely. I will call n say. Not only my husband but my in-laws are the same. May be it is positive thinking. Good for them. But my parent's family especially my mom is over concerned. We have a history too for that. My mom's parents expired in a road accident. So we are all really over worried. Before I used to shiver a lot if my husband does not call etc when he is out of town. Even if he comes home very late with out informing I used to be over worried , he used to be cool n say" I will be safe only no" etc but now I came out of the fear for my good but yes it would be fine if he calls but little fear is what I live with.

 

There is absolutely no reason for fear. Whatever is going to happen, who can check it ? There must be some mobile mode of communication, I suppose. In case of delay , the person can be contacted. But why worry, fear....whether you have gained anything by worrying.... I request you not to worry for this kind of delay. Certainly whatever had happened yesterday, is not going to happen today.