A Vent Out

Dear friends,
This is not my first post here. Could not remember my previous id to login.
My story,
I have a very unsatisfied married life. My husband is asexual. Married for 7 years. Had sex 2-3 times. Have one kid !! For the world we are perfect husband and wife. I hate to pretend in parties and outings.. really, it's becoming intolerable. At home, we talk only about finance, kid, parents. Nothing else. I don't even know if this is all a husband and wife would talk I don't know what a real marriage would be like. When I see my other friends and their loving husbands, I get jealous and upset secretively. Its very fake that we have. I am almost sure people around can sense it. I don't love him and neither want him anymore. That part is over. Only thing that reminds is the feeling of anger, the anger that because of him I can never have what every married woman would have. I am ok with the non sexual part. I can manage without that. But i see no love in between us. Life is mechanical. He functions like.. you do one house job, I do one. Its like a deal. Even if I am sick, the rule applies. I sense no care or affection. Worst part of all is he always behaves as if nothing is wrong between us and we are a perfect family. Till date I don't know if its his pretence or thats how he is. This kills me!!! I have tried enough from my side to make our relationship work but now I don't care anymore. So this is just a vent out... I don't know if any advice will change anything but atleast i have some ears. Thank you for reading patiently my long rant!

 

Yes, you can. I am not sure if I can. I am a new member.

 

I am financially independent. But I cannot come out this marriage because I am worried about our kid. He is a loving father though not a good husband. I would feel very selfish if I can't make this sacrifice for my kid. I would also be ruining peace in my parents life.

 

Thank you for your kind words. I am trying my best. But again there are good days and sad days. And now is one such moment when I am trying to go back to good day from a sad day.

 

Its sad to hear. I thought if mine had been a love marriage, things would have been different. But I guess this is just plain bad luck. I am always trying ways to fill the void but nothing is ever enough