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Divine Husbands

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Balajee, Feb 24, 2017.

  1. Balajee

    Balajee IL Hall of Fame

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    I read somewhere in facebook today that in many south Indian households girls are made to fast on Monday so that they can have a husband like Shiva. I was jolted . Who on earth would like to have a husband like Shiva?


    Ladies, please give me your reactions to tell me you would like to have a DH like Shiva. Seriously ? a DH who seems to suffer from bad hair millennia not just bad hair days (matted locks and all that). Wears tiger skin (whatever happened to animal rights?) has snakes crawling all over him and to make matter worse consumes bhang and smokes pot. (Funny thing is booze shops are closed on Mahashivaratri but bhang shops are open. That means intoxication is fine if it does not come from booze).


    Why should ordinary mortal women have such husband when Parvati herself left no stone unturned to ensure that her DH dressed in a propah manner by luring him many times to take the form of Sundareswara, the handsome, more fashionable aspect of Shiva?


    And Shiva is a fantastic dancer. Can the wife of mortal shivas keep up step with their hubbies (The shaadi.com matrimonial of these guys would read “ Wanted, an expert dancer wife”)

    Why should any mortal woman have husbands who are like gods? I wonder, would any woman like a Brahma like husband?. I am sure she would be the cynosure of all eyes at parties as she walks in with a four headed hubby.


    Or Vishnu all blue with four hands. First the poor lady would have hell of a trouble waking him up from his deep slumber. After all Vishnu is the eternal sleeper, Ananthasayana.


    If the girls would like a husband like Krishna great. Handsome chap, great musician. Just make sure you don’t become jealous. Krishna was a committed polygamist. Every Rukmini will have to keep a watchful eye for some Satyabhma or Jambavati (This guy is a real wonder. He had 16,000 wives! Only a god could have copeed with so many sets of in-laws).


    And any Indra must be protected by a jealous DW from the charms of some Rambha Oorvasi or Menaka.


    And men are no better because they seek divine wives. When ever a marriage alliance is planned the standard clichéd description to lure a prospective groom is “she looks like Mahalakshmi”. It is always Mahalakshmi who is the yardstick. Nobody will say that she is “knowledgeable like Saraswati”


    And when things sour later after marriage, the MIL will invariable describe the DIL as “She is a Bhadrakali”.

    .







    j
     
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  2. jayasala42

    jayasala42 IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Balaji,
    Today being Shivarathri, Shiva came into your trap.

    Your humorous snippet reminds me of a song composed by Ghanam Krishna Iyer in Kalyani Ragam-the song usually used as 'padham' in dance concerts.Parvathi's mother asks her daughter why she is in love for Shiva-whether it is for the madness,old clothings,for the bull,or the tiger's skin,or the deer in his hands,or the big snake wound round his shoulders,or the vibuthi laden body etc etc?
    People knowing Tamil may enjoy the song better.

    எத்தைக் கண்டு நீ இச்சை கொண்டாயடி மகளே ?
    என் பெண்ணே,கண்ணே,நீ இப்போதே

    சுத்த பயித்தியக் காரன் கங்காதரன்
    தோகையை முன்னவன் பேயுடன் ஆடிய
    தொந்திக்கோ,பழம் கந்தைக்கோ
    ஏறும் நந்திக்கோ,செய்யும் விந்தைக்கோ ( எத்தைக்கண்டு)
    புலியை உரித்து ஆடை அணிந்திட்ட போர்வை ஆசைக்கோ? ?
    வலிய கரத்தில் மழுவை ஏந்தும் மனது துணிவுக்கோ ?
    மலையின் பாம்பை பிடித்துக் கழுத்தில் மாட்டிக் கொண்டதைப்
    பூட்டிக் கொண்டிட்ட
    மாலைக்கோ ,தரும் சேலைக்கோ,செய்யும் வேலைக்கோ, சிவ லீலைக்கோ ?( எத்தைக் கண்டு)

    மாமனும் மாமியும் ஒன்றாய் செய்கின்ற
    வரிசைப் பெருமைக்கோ ?
    சோமனை சிரத்தில் அணிந்து ஒரு கண்
    துலங்கும் நெற்றிக்கோ?
    காமனை வென்றவர் ஆலத்தை உண்டு -மார்க்
    கண்டனுக்காகவே கண்டனை உதைத்திட்ட

    காலுக்கோ, சாம்பல் மேலுக்கோ,கரி தோலு க்கோ,
    காளை வாலு க்கோ ( எத்தைக் கண்டு)
    Don't be proud that that even elders had fallen in line with Balaji.
    Look ! here is a girl longing for a husband like Shiva
    answers her mother:

    Definitely I prefer to have husband like Shiva.There are seven main reasons.

    "1. Shiva does not wear clothes since he is Digambar. So no issue of washing clothes.
    2. He has the moon on his head so no problem of load shedding and no issues of bill payments.
    3. Ganga flows from him so no shortage of water.
    4. Shiva eats only raw veggies so no cooking required.
    5. Since he does not have parents no issues with in laws."
    6.Above all I know Shiva is really 'handsome incarnatea'He is very fair in complexion while I am a bit dark.
    7.Amma, don't you know the story of Shiva?When Parvathi was making fun of Shiva as described in the above song, Shiva took her and asked her to stand before the mirror along with himself by her side.She was totally amazed at the most beautiful form of Shiva as 'Sundara',the most fascinating form of Shiva,which every girl would love to have as husband.I have full confidence that he would appear 'Sundara' to me however much he looks for others.
    8.I need not bother about post marital affairs of my husband, as no one would stare at him.I don't have any need to fear like Rukmini.

    Even if you don't believe the last two reasons of which I am convinced,you can certainly give me in marriage to him for reasons 1 to 5 mentioned above.

    Is there any need to say that the girl's marriage with Shiva was celebrated with pomp and show?

    Her daughter could live in peace with'Sundara' in closet, without any need to cook or wash and without the nagging of 'MIL'.
    Doesn't any mother covet for such nice perfect alliance to her daughter?

    Jayasala 42
     
  3. satchitananda

    satchitananda IL Hall of Fame

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    Trust you to come up with such a hilarious one, Balajee!

    He'd make a fantastic match for some woman who wants a man who can dance to her tunes!

    JS Ma'am, loved your response, whatever I could read of it, though all the stuff in Tamil was totally lost on me. :-(
    No PIL issues. Now who would not fall for that. Washing machine can take care of clothes, cooking is not such an issue, but the no PIL takes the cake.
     
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  4. Akanksha1982

    Akanksha1982 IL Hall of Fame

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    Hilarious Balajee and nice post @jayasala42 mam.

    Wouldn't it be a nice to live in a peaceful place on Kailash with no traffic, not to worry about others, no cellphones, internet, whatsapp. Just live a peaceful life.
     
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  5. poovai

    poovai Platinum IL'ite

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    Funny post, Balajee.

    I am afraid to live alone (selfish), for that let me mark my day at the temple to put a request to depart, first. Seriously, if there is any chance of having Mukthi, I will follow it by the book.

    Also, I like to thank for the present life: for the chauffeur who takes me to places, guinea pig (for my cooking), wears the cloths (I selected with a pride), and he will not dance to my tunes (still work in progress).
     
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  6. jayasala42

    jayasala42 IL Hall of Fame

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    So your vote favours Shiva as the best choice foe a husband,,just for the husband's dwelling.
    Jayasala 42
     
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  7. Balajee

    Balajee IL Hall of Fame

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    After reding this Jayasala Ma'am, I remember another song which has a line "Peyandi thanikkandu neeyendi maiyal kondai". I suppose Peyandi has his perks but do cobras make good pets.?
     
  8. Balajee

    Balajee IL Hall of Fame

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    So modern conveniences have brought down the allure of Shiva as a prospective husband?. The snakes should be a deterrent too.
     
  9. Balajee

    Balajee IL Hall of Fame

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    Yeah peaceful in subzero temperatures. You are going to need a whole lot of heaters.
     
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  10. Balajee

    Balajee IL Hall of Fame

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    So you don't want a Shiva-like hubby. Riding on a bull is no luxury trip. He being an ascetic doesn't care much about food. Best of luck with making him dance to your tune.
     

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