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Money:should Allow To Give Or Not ??

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by bron, Jan 20, 2017.

  1. bron

    bron Silver IL'ite

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    thanks a lot for replies..they are very well to do and doing better than my sister ..the point is they dont have children yeti fear this will continue even after they have children..like only my hubby spending for thier kids but them not spending for my dd..so my kid will feel left out..my kid may feel her dad is spending for athai's (aunt) kids but athai is not doing anything for me..they can afford these gold and toys ..but they dont want to do it for my daughter is what hurting me badly..they never did any return gifts for me before my baby..like we have a customs like giving saree or some ornaments or atleast a blouse material..like that..i always have given them when they visit us and my mom also as given when they came to see my baby at my mom's house but inreturn they never gave me those gifts or atleast even 10 rs when i visited them..now they are trying to follow the same to my baby aswell..they are elder to my hubby atleast by 5 and 6 years but they always behave like he is elder and he is supposed to take all responsibilities of parents and if required them too.. they think they have nothing to do for thier parents as they are girls..now i dont want my dd to take up the same responsibility like she can only give to thier athai not expect anything from them back..thats the only thing bugging me like even she will left in the giving end to them but not recieve anything..apart from this my hubby never stoos doing anything for us because of them n all..he is a very good dad and a reasonable hubby. .but he is not getting me gold fearing about them ..that they may feel bad if ihe gets only for me..but i want gim to get jwelery for occasions but surely i will not allow to get everytime he buys something for me..how fo i open up this.??.
     
  2. Nonya

    Nonya Platinum IL'ite

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    This sub forum has difficult problems. Each issue as intractable as the other. Reading about a more dire situation could be therapeutic .
     
    Last edited: Jan 21, 2017
  3. nakshatra1

    nakshatra1 Platinum IL'ite

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    I think its bizzare that if your husband gets you gold, he has to get it for his sister's too.That makes no sense.
    After marriage, your husband's money belongs to both of you , and you can spend it on each other. Doesn't mean he has to buy same things for his sisters too.
     
  4. paru123

    paru123 Gold IL'ite

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    OP, how is your relation with your sole. Do they talk to u or just only with your husband. Ur husband must be a very rich man in their eyes. Btw I feel u r thinking too much into the future. Their kids not yet born and what all u have thought before hand. How is ur sil finance in comparison to your husband. If it husband is comparatively behind them, then pls tell him not to spend a penny on them. Otherwise just ignore small petty things. Regarding 5k ask your husband the reason. did he take any favour from them like for eg, did they come n help you or husband in difficult times. Pls let me know. It's very bad to ascertain the price of a gift. If someone does that to me I make sure never to gift them again, if negative comments are passed about the gift. Or I give them money bcos ppl can belittle gift saying its useless but not cash even if it's a 100 rs note.
     
  5. chocolate

    chocolate Platinum IL'ite

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    Op, Understand one thing, 99.99% SIL's however rich they are , only know one language . How to milk brother to maximum. My SIL can give your SIL's lessons.So rule out any gifts you expect from them. That will never come thru.
    I too have come to same conclusion.

    Coming to your hubby's not buying you gold becoz he has to buy his sisters too is ********. He is giving lame excuses not to buy you. Will your SIL keep a close check when your hubby buys you gold. Definitely not. He doesn't want to buy hence this round about way to stop it. Tell him that you will like to buy such and such a thing and will buy it for birthday or anniversary. What he does to sisters is not your concern. Get a sizeable one. See how soon brotherly love vanishes. Don't budge to have to get sisters so cant get you.Thats half baked lie. Good Luck.
     

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