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India Trip Confusion

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Prabh, Oct 25, 2016.

  1. deepthyanoop

    deepthyanoop Gold IL'ite

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    Dear, sorry to say your mil is very horrible and a real abuser.Are you staying with her now?? What's your husband's stand??Hope many threads here gives you the strength and courage to stand up for yourself. Hugs..
     
  2. saps105

    saps105 Gold IL'ite

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    @sindmani ..I am absolutely disgusted with the way your MIL treated you. Please stand up and speak up. Don't allow her to treat you so badly. What is DH's take on this? I am glad that you have taken up meditation. Slowly gain confidence and put your feet down to such abuse.

    I would love to see a positive update from you in future.Good luck to you.
     
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  3. Lakshmi6197

    Lakshmi6197 Gold IL'ite

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    I believe that NRI children are treated better than locals. Have myself firsthand experienced this as a local and than as an NRI. But i believe that happens more because we have moved out of the sphere of influence and not because of some new found love. My family treats us pretty much the same. A little more cherished because we will at the earliest come next year maybe skip and come the year after. In ILs place better since we come for a limited time period we could cut short our visit to their place next time or wriggle early in case of too much drama. When we luved in the same house our manuverability was limited. On the other hand we were invited only a week before an important function in SILs family in peak holiday season. It is not possible to plan and execute a 4 day long function with 30-40 outstation guests in a weeks time. Reason is they needed the entire house to themselves and could not turn me and husband out of our house to live somewhere else if we came. I had foolishly planned to go but couldnt as tickets were more than twice the normal range. Later when i heard the details, i figured out that we were not welcome and were delibrately invited late. My husband independently came to the same conclusion.

    And btw i had to call SIL to get myself invited - the day the functions began. Being NRI doesnt do much to the DILs actual status. When parents are nice to some and parallely bad to other children it is because of plain old fashioned partiality or because they dare not fearing the consequences. And that happens often enough among children living in india also.
     
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  4. sindmani

    sindmani Platinum IL'ite

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    To all my well wishers here. Thanks for all the concerns. Yes i have successfully moved out of depression:blush:. Iam doing meditation regularly along with self healing . iam fine .iam trying to forget all the insults and cruelties I faced( I don't want to tell things in detail). I think iam an example for people who are now facing problems in life.any problem that we face emotionally can be solved. So no regrets. I talk to my inlaws nicely. Iam thankful to my in-laws family for shaping me in to a confident person.my husband was neutral.he asked me to adjust that's all. My mom helped me get out of the problems after I got hospitalised after a panick attack. She talked with my husband regarding my emotional health. He never believed in emotional problems. But atleast he tried to understand. He always advises me to not take all the insults to heart. So this is my history. Sure I believe I will have good things about my life to tell u all soon. Thanks for all ur blessings:blush:
     
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  5. Sparkle

    Sparkle Platinum IL'ite

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    Should have b***-slapped her! :tonguewink:
    Its good to know that you have gotten better!!! Happy diwali to you!! Feel happy!
     
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  6. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    @sindmani ...You are too sweet a person for such monsters .
    Your mil is just nasty.
    Next time you sil comes....don't leave your bed. just tell her,you are willing to share with her if she wants to sleep.
    Seriously...I hope they go to hell .
    A very happy Diwali to you . Hope it gives you the strength to defeat the monsters in your life.
     
    sindmani likes this.
  7. coolgal123

    coolgal123 Platinum IL'ite

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    sindmani, people respects us when we stand up for ourselves and refuse to be disrespected. I bet here NRI position has nothing to do. If you are used to be disrespected than people also become used to disrespect you.
    NRI or not NRI, stand up for urself and deny to take ********.
     
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  8. Elsa

    Elsa Gold IL'ite

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    I am sorry to say that one of the reasons why your inlaws are ill-treating you is you and your behavior. Such things wouldnt have happened to you if you learn to stand up for yourself. Do not ever think that you are inferior to someone. Learn to respect yourself first.
     
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  9. sindmani

    sindmani Platinum IL'ite

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    OK Elsa maam. I will definitely follow ur advice. Yes I really need to work on my self esteem. I am improving. But I need to improve more.
     

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