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Am I Making Mistake ??

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by mohini16, Oct 27, 2016.

  1. Amica

    Amica IL Hall of Fame

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    Walk away. He's bad news.

    When the right guy comes along, you'll know. :)
     
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  2. mohini16

    mohini16 Silver IL'ite

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    Well ladies , I might just say yes to him
    I'm super concerned about my parents , they want to see me settled . They are getting old . I am in India for them only . For them I can marry even blind guy and will try to make it work with him , I don't know somehow I feel I am unlucky female in marriage / relationship . The divorce tag I'm carrying from Age of 22 without even being lived as married woman . Guy cheated and I had to leave house in 2 months only .
    I don't know I guess yeah like that guy said marriage is only illusion and people
    Do it for sake of it and stay in it
     
  3. Bubbles

    Bubbles Silver IL'ite

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    No no no no no
    Why would you ignore all your instincts and observations and advice and do such a thing?!!!!!!
    It is not an easy thing to find one's life partner..we eventually want to be happy and that is why we sweat so much, both in love or arranged marriages, to find a compatible partner. I dont think you should sacrifice compatibility for the tag of being married.
    I understand you feel you are at a disadvantage, being married once, and are feeling pressurized by your circumstances and probably age..
    I am a firm believer in the saying that when the going gets tough, the tough get going.
    Act wisely. Respect your instincts. Even the people who have just heard about this guy from you don't think its wise for you to consider him seriously. That alone should make you stop and change tracks, if nothing else does. Too many red flags here..
    On the question of rejecting too many guys/having high standards - your quality of life is your call. When you have high standards, you may have fewer choices, but who you end up with will be worth living with.
    I do not believe one should compromise just to get married...nor should one have unrealistic expectations and want a perfect person..Sit down and write down what you really look for in a life partner. write down what you definitely need, what you can compromise on/deal with. Think about what bad points about a person you may be willing to accept. And once you're done, do not lower your standards.
    Believe me, its better to be single than to be married to a wrong person who will suck the life, years and more out of you...
    Don't get disenchanted by all the women who you see coping in marriage - that is not the goal of marriage, right? To suffer through it? These are women who are trying to make things better, so respect them for that, and learn from them.
    So please stand up tall, and assert yourself. Root for yourself, be patient and optimistic, and follow your heart-head, esp when they point in the same direction...
     
    Last edited: Oct 29, 2016
  4. dnormx01

    dnormx01 Gold IL'ite

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    OP, the attributes you have pointed to, to have rejected a few proposals is perfectly alright. No girl will want to marry a guy who is any of that you mentioned . So that really shouldn't push you doubting your instincts and decisions.

    Looks like you are in an emotionally vulnerable situation, thinking about parents and this guy, your family and your own life now. I would still tell you to take time and think with a calm mind before you go ahead either way.

    Also don't succumb to your fears and get into a relationship. You can never be happy with yourself and your life then.

    Best wishes again.
     
  5. Lakshmi6197

    Lakshmi6197 Gold IL'ite

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    Im married and im telling you - run girl run hes just bad news. affection and kindness go a longer way than anything else. marry for yourself not your patents. will get back...
     
  6. Rachu123

    Rachu123 Bronze IL'ite

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    Please please please get rid of him. Now itself, before wedding only he is behaving this badly then I bet after marriage he will be 10 times of this. With my own experience I am saying this. That time you think how heavenly life you had being single. Peaceful life you are living now and for sure he will make it a big mess.
     
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  7. Elsa

    Elsa Gold IL'ite

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    You seem to have got tired of being single and carrying the divorcee tag. Please give it a second thought. This guy sounds like a real opportunist. Its easier to back off now, than later, after you get married to him. Try to make your parents understand that you are happy right now.
     
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  8. Tobemumma

    Tobemumma New IL'ite

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    Mohini..i wil tell u one thing only..some times just think of urself before parents. For example ME. I had married at the age of 22 last year of my masters. At that time i really want one or two more years to be self dependent but parents said u can do it after marriage also. I don't resist much and said yes but now after 3 years of marriage i am regreting that why i didn't take time..result..despite of being gold medalist i'm at home today, depressed. Yup i agree that they want to see u settle down in ur life, but for the seek of this aap aise ladke se shadi karoge? divorcee tag an other stupid social norms may annoying u badly definitely..but to avoid this, jumping in another hell is a really bad idea. Isn't it better to alone and live life keeping ur chin high by kecking off all the social pressure rather than being with a guy who will make ur life difficult enough to live peacefully. I think two people should marry only when they surely know that whatever will be situation reason of being with each other wil only be love for each other not 'majaburi'. Boz bana hua rishta nibhane me koi meaning nahi hota hai...so u have a chance...think 100 times before taking decision. Good luck..
     
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  9. kcb

    kcb IL Hall of Fame

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    Are you serious about your life & future? sorry to say this, but i got this feeling after reading your response.

    No one should marry for the sake of parents or society. If tomorrow your marriage turns into a bad one, no body will help you, you have to help yourself.

    Being tagged as a divorcee for once is okay, it will be even more tough to bear the tag twice...

    Think seriously about this guy.
     
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  10. Iamagoodgirl

    Iamagoodgirl Platinum IL'ite

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    What!!! seriously? Dont repeat mistakes in life.One divorce is better than two divorce.This is guy is not marriage material.He sound like narcissists.Coming heavy then showing you you are worthless.Destroying your self esteem then wanting to marry you because you feel weak.Typical praying mentality.
     
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