Need Advise Regrading My Married Life.

I have been married for 2 years. Initial days were good. With time i get to know that my wife is liar, use abusive language for parents. She has no regret for this. Whenever she got caught, she started crying and asked for forgiveness. I want her to complete her master and got her admitted to one of reputed college (It costs me more than 2 lac (admission fee + bus fee)). In college, she is on phone with her mother and never cared for her studies. She went to attend her brother marriage with all jewellery. When i attended the marriage she just fights with me and spread rumors about me having a child from a extra marital affair which led to big argument between me and my in-laws. After that i came back to my place. She decided not to contact me and go for legal advice. She was present at that time. After reconciliation after 3 months period, she again came back to me. During the mean time, she discontinued her studies on recommendation of my mother-in-law( was in final semester). After delivery of baby girl, she agin left after 2 months with the baby and never allow me see the face of baby. before going,

she kicked my mom, put character less remarks on my father and start slapping me. After which i slapped her 3-5 times. Then she torn her clothes and start shouting that i was trying to rape her. Now it has been 9 months no contact. I tried to contact her. MY in-laws want me leave my parents forever nad never look after them(even asked me not to speak to them in future). I decided to leave out of this relationship. I planned for the baby to save my marriage which i regret now. I could have saved a life by not going for the baby.

They never returned my jewellery, money.

I don't know i Did right by raising hand on her. I never thought that i will ever raise my hand on my partner. She is not ready to leave with me. I don't want to initiate the divorce process. I have no information why she is filling the papers. She is at her parents(Very arrogant in nature).

Parents don't understand my situation and wife also. Mother keeps telling me old way of handling wife which clearly doesn't work with this generation's girls. Wife keeps telling mother's faults but I can't fight with mother for each and every thing told by wife. So wife gets angry because she thinks that I always take mother's side and mother thinks that I have changed and take wife's side.

My brain has stopped taking right decision. Confidence level has gone down. I don't feel like talking to anyone. First couple of months were pretty good. Me and my wife were loving and caring about each other. Then she started complaining about my parents, my home, home town. In each fight she threatens with India's 'dowry act' and always blackmails me saying that she will put me and my parents in jail. In each fight she threatens me by saying that she will commit suicide and write my and my parent's name in suicide note. In almost every fight, I have to hold her tightly so that she won't harm herself.

marriage was just like any other event for her. "All my friends are getting married & so I have to"!

So now living with her in constant tension and pressure. After few days are over of fight she asks me why don't you speak with me much. You are always silent, why don't you like to have sex. Her self harming nature and blackmailing nature keeps haunting my mind for many days after each fight, but I am afraid of telling her this because if I tell this she might threaten me again with that divorce law and there will be one more fight, she might hurt herself in fight.

She used to scream whole night (No not due to what you are thinking). She used to fight and throw her phone or whatever she gets & makes a big issue just for no reason!

Middle of the night she calls & invites her family members to my house ( where only we both stayed ) as if am threatening her and creates a scene! The way she shouts, the neighbors used to think I must be assaulting her or she used make everyone think that am the culprit!

For everything, She will say "I will complain to Police". Police, Police, Police!

She used to call her family 100 times a day and they used to support her & boost her confidence for the fight saying you are right, we are with you don't worry, don't calm down and shout to the max extent!

 

Thanks for your time. I will discuss with her to get the things done in peaceful manner if she wants divorce.

 

1.. its been only 2 yrs since u r married , then how did she reach final semester?
2..i mean in these 2 yrs she got pregnant and has a child..
3.. everything seemed to have happened too soon..fights, stopping studies, delivering a child..[/QUOTE]

1. its been only 2 yrs since u r married , then how did she reach final semester?
She was doing master from MCA which is of two years. During midway of last semester, when all this things happens.
2. .i mean in these 2 yrs she got pregnant and has a child..
She wants to start a family and we both decided to plan for baby mutually.
3. everything seemed to have happened too soon..fights, stopping studies, delivering a child.
Things started to become bad from the day she raised the characterless thing. She always listens to her brother who is a divorcee. I have tried to reconcile, to communicate to her, but nothing works. Now i am leaving at my place along with my parents and have no information of what she is thinking.

Can you tell me what could be going in her mind from a girl perspective as i don't want to talk about her to any of close one because it may put her as a bad wife/mother which i don't want.

I don't want to see any of them suffer(my wife and child). I love both.




.

 

1.. its been only 2 yrs since u r married , then how did she reach final semester?
2..i mean in these 2 yrs she got pregnant and has a child..
3.. everything seemed to have happened too soon..fights, stopping studies, delivering a child..[/QUOTE]

1. its been only 2 yrs since u r married , then how did she reach final semester?
She was doing master from MCA which is of two years. During midway of last semester, when all this things happens.
2. .i mean in these 2 yrs she got pregnant and has a child..
She wants to start a family and we both decided to plan for baby mutually.
3. everything seemed to have happened too soon..fights, stopping studies, delivering a child.
Things started to become bad from the day she raised the characterless thing. She always listens to her brother who is a divorcee. I have tried to reconcile, to communicate to her, but nothing works. Now i am leaving at my place along with my parents and have no information of what she is thinking.

Can you tell me what could be going in her mind from a girl perspective as i don't want to talk about her to any of close one because it may put her as a bad wife/mother which i don't want.

I don't want to see any of them suffer(my wife and child). I love both.

 

I am also on quora and still confused about the future of baby. There might be some information that i can get from people's experience which can be helpful. I don't have any issue with living separate from my parents if she have no objection with my talking/meeting with my parents. I didn't put any restriction on her

 

She has a problem with her anger and will become worse if taken lightly. I tried to tell her and all in vain