Am I Making Mistake ??

Hello All , I am posting on this forum after long time , i took break from matrimonial search and started searching again from 6 months now .
You can go through my previous posts if you like , my first marriage happened at age 22 which lasted for 2 months only so i really never felt / had married woman feeling.
I was in Canada for long time and i am Canadian citizen . i came back to India 8 months ago . i felt i will be in India now for couple of years coz my parents getting older and they feel alone/helpless sometimes. my younger sister is married and brother (he completed his Engineering in 5 years) only creates trouble for them by no working and spending father's money/even abusing them . he was admitted to Rehab for drinking/smoking and bad behavior . No difference in his behavior . i tried taking parents with me couple of times , got them visa and asked them to stay with me in Canada but they cant leave India due to brother . i pushed brother too to come to US/Canada and do his MS but after giving exams he is still bum and don't want to do anything . no job / no study . he is on medication and abuses mom dad and even me now since im in india . he called me Divorced/Characterless/i will die alone/ noone will marry me/i slept with lot of guys bla bla ....i cried my heart out many time and now i am not on talking terms with him .
He is 8 years younger to me.
Bottom line i decided to be in India . my own selfish reason was i will get to stay close to parents who need me and after slogging in IT for 7 years I am dead tired and i have been wanting to open my business since years , now i have descent savings so i would try my luck in something in India.

I am talking to this guy in Pune (single - never married) and he knew i am Canadian citizen . i had told him i will be in india now but i wont do IT job anymore specially never in India coz its not worth it . if you want someone working them i am wrong person. second thing i told him about the past thing as well and duration of marriage and he was ok .
now intially i had told him that i will come to Pune to attend some certification course but i didnt go (i wasnt sure of attending course) then finally after 2 months i had told him i cant come , why dont you come to my place and you will get to meet my parents too . they will meet you for coffee no pressure.
now here are the issues i am concerned about :
1) He owns apartment in Bombay and have descent savings as what he told me - But he counts phone bill when he calls me / He asked me to call him from my side twice and jokingly said my bill must be 1000Rs in last 3 months .

2)When i asked him to come to my hometown it was long weekend (monday off) i said you can come you have 3 days off , he said yeah but Bus ticket must be expensive coz its off on monday .
just so you know my town is 500 kms away from pune and non/ac ticket is 600-700 Rs . on long weekend may be 150 Rs more .

3)He commented on my looks ( i am far better than him i know it ) he said did you lie about your age on website , i asked why do you say so you have doubt ? he said by your chubby cheeks you look 32-33 (i am 31) - I was offended but i didnt say anything , next day he removes me from whatsapp contacts . i said are you serious ? this is just a small thing , he said he was joking ( i knew he wasnt) but i let it go , thats fine . forget it.

4) He said he is popular on website like he gets interest from every corner of india . i said good for you its nice. he says he is handsome and he earns 18 lakhs/year so he is in demand . i was pulling his legs and i said i dont think so , and you are talking to NRI so you shouldn't flaunt your salary or money. coz i get richer guys than you but i dont really care too much about money that's why i came to india to find guys with values and morals.
He got super offended and removed me again , lol , i again let it go and told him to let forget it and move on.

5) Again he repeats 3rd incident , i changed pic on whats app he says you look OLD and SAD in this pic .
i reacted badly this time , i said its not your job to comment on my pic , and you can comment if you yourself is handsome . you are living in your own lala land and thinking you are 35 years old handsome guy who is making millions so girls are dying for you . you are only mediocre who is working his Ass off in IT like other guys. he felt super offended and got super fired up coz this time i commented on his looks ,
He again said he was joking ... and whatever my brother cursed me and said about me is Right (i had shared with him my brother's issue) . he used it against me in argument .
this time i was really upset . but i again let it go and said things happened in anger .
but he really shouldnt pass comments on my looks like old and chubby cheeks even in joke coz he knows i dont like it .

6) Now this is my main concern , he keeps saying every now and then on whatsapp chatting , lets run away together . lets do register marriage . i said i am not in favor of registered marriage . he said my parents wont agree if i told them about your past marriage . i said that will be next step , we have to meet first in person then we can discuss how to present it in front of your parents . he goes no i know it for sure they wont so we have to do registered marriage only , i said i will still meet your parents and you have to meet my parents too . i will not do bhagne wala shadi .

7)Now here is the main thing , he told me jokingly at least 2-3 times lets goto Canada , i said nope i told you already i dont want to , and if i want to settle there why would i come here and look for guys .
he said no you were lonely thats why you didnt like , if your husband is with you , you will be ok .
we can run together to Canada and we will do some business as you always wish to have business .
i let it go this thing again , i said i have made it very clear i wont go nor i will sponsor guy from india .

8) He suggested me if you want to be rich then take some loan from Canada , student loan or something and then run away without repaying , as you have decided to leave the country so run away , they will investigate for sometime and will give up , thats how all developed countries work . I said well its unethical thing to do and i dont support it . it shows your creepy thinking he said well i was only suggesting , its not my gain , its upto you

9) now Yesterday he was blubbering on phone , like he was talking in flow and said he really doesnt feel the need of marriage , he is happy alone , he likes spending time alone and all married people he knows they all are unhappy , even couples who did love marriage tell him they are in marriage for kids .
i said ok so why you are talking to me then , he said you told me you want someone who gives you independence to work/business . and i am ok with that .
yes i will fulfill basic responsibility of Husband . i said Really ? He said ya what else you want Love ? Ok i will love you too .
I said you know what right now i am literally feeling like IDIOT for coming down to india or even thinking to settle here with someone who thinks marriage is basic responsibility and whatever you said ....
he said no no dont take me wrong , lets meet as we decided to meet .
I said this Time , you know what lets just leave it now , i really doubt marriage with you . no point in meeting. and i will go back to US.
He said ok thast fine , dont meet , you chase your dreams , become CEO or whatever. but what do you think you will be single coz you wont find anyone like me . i said thats fine let it be .
He was pointing my age and divorce thing
I said goodluck and ended it finally

 

Dear dnormx01 ,
Yes Thanks for pointing out my deep inner fear . i was happy abroad. this emotional abuse happen in india only i never expected it at home atleast , but anyways . i have been always confident about myself and have been in relationship / met guys too , they proposed and i didnt say yes .
i dont know what future holds , for now i am focusing on business ideas and exploring them .
Thanks again

 

Hi deeprapriya, guy has contacted me again yesterday , he didnt apologize or anything , he said he is coming for some darshan near my home town and he wants to meet me . he said Zyada Bhav matt khao (dont be dramatic) .. he thinks that argument or whatever he said about marriage (he doesnt feel the need...marriage is hopeless..its a ritual) i should let it go .... he might have said it in flow ... i wont drag it too much ... but something in my heart is stopping me . i don't know exactly what .
may be i dont want to compromise my career by living with him in india and do IT job again . he told me intially when i said i dont want to do ...he said then "kya Karna hai ... Life mein Chill Marna hai..." . i said i wont do ...if you want working wife then look for someone else period. then he kinda changed his mind and said ok thats fine dont do job (he only said it ...i dont know what will happen in future) . This is one of the reason why i am taken a back.
Second he doesnt have plan like guy should have sense of responsibility once he is married , like when to buy house . babies . he says i bought 1 bedroom flat and thats it . i dont want to take loan in future now and suffer. i asked so what would you do once we have babies then we need bigger house , he said i will rent only . i want to chill in life .... i dont want to slog for responsibilities . he says he just want to travel and enjoy life.he doesnt want to slog. he even gave me stupid idea of lets goto Cambodia and open restaurant there.
He seems really care free and i dont sense any sincerity for marriage.
He suggested he will goto Germany for Free MS and chill there for 4 years . i said you have to find job and i know that Germany might give you free education but its hard to find job there unless you speak German . so if i was you i would go for proper masters . he said he wants to chill thats why he will go for MS and he will do part time job there. i said how would you keep wife there , he said ya you can come too and do part time job . i said no thanks ... This plan is ******** .

I dont know i dont want to put my life on hold for him . if i stay in india then its ok , but if i go back even for 6-8 months then i would have to take him there and he will sit at home (which he will happily accept)
but i dont think i will make guy sit at home unless i am crazy or madly in love with him.

One more thing , I have planned to Take my parents with me to Canada/US and they dont know but i will take them in Business Class (i myself havent traveled in business class yet) .
I feel so happy thinking of this ... .... my hard work of 7-8 years will be paid off ... then why should i get married and stuck with such kind of guy in india and give up on my hard earned career and money i make in US/Canada .
I dont know my heart and Brain both stopping me now.

I dont know when i will get married or i will be single for life . but i wont do something for which my heart and brain both dont aligned

But one thing always bother me , i will never find any guy who is perfect ... how many times i will decide to say no , i had already said No couple of times in past because of guy's immaturity / no physical attraction / guy was dominating / guy was characterless / guy was momma's boy ...There will be always something which will bother me ... i get super confused ... thats why i doubt my decision because i dont want to reject guy every time ....
God help me ...all you married ladies . when you got married ... did you feel that HE IS THE ONE Feeling ? does it really happen or i am living in some d illusion and wasting time ?