Do Parents Love Their Children Equally?

Adding another layer of complexity.....
Parents provide everything equally or fairly to children. Parents love them all equally. Kid goes to school or college. Looks at other children and families. Self vs others happens inevitably.
Parents did not buy me an iPad, did not get me that school bag, did not give me pocket money like xyz has, did not aid me in making good choices about education and so on happens.
Who is to be blamed here?!

 

Sorry about the way they conveyed it to you rossie, but at-least they were open about it. I can relate to you. Some little things done or said, change the entire way a child looks at their family and life.

 

Children look at mom and dad as two different persons from the very beginning. But most parents look at children equally or at least lie to them that they are all equal. The very notion of all my children are one and the same is wrong. To begin with, what a parent should convey to the children IMO is that they are all different from each other, hence the difference in treatment.

Say a mother chooses to give her jewellery to her eldest daughter and tells her youngest daughter that she is the first-born and she should make peace with it, what are the children supposed to feel?
A father says to his only girl that only her brother is entitled for the property down the lane, quoting primogeniture as the reason. What will the children interpret from this?

All children want to be treated the same way regardless of race, religion or culture. That is nature's way. Howsoever a parent reinforces and talks, very little reaches the child and lesser than that is implemented.

The problem I believe is mixing resources with love and affection.

I agree on this and this is possible by talking and enabling the child to talk. Reconciliation is possible when the parent is willing to listen to the child and is ready to make changes if needed.

 

I can understand. It doesn't sound selfish to me. Its natural to long to be in that position and get the love and affection a sibling is getting. Half the time the child that is put down doesn't know why she/he is treated that way. Fact is that children don't ask to be born as the first born or the last or in any other position.

Another fact is that the baggage we carry from how we were treated as a child will last forever. Its very very hard to drop that bag and come out of the past. Hope you are in a better position than before rossie!

I believe that we get to choose everything in life except mother, father, siblings and children. What we have in control is how we deal with what is given to us without a choice.

 

I couldn't agree with you more!!