Do Parents Love Their Children Equally?

Sparkle · Oct 26, 2016

I am trying to find reasons that may explain a parent's favouritism or partial treatment for a child....

The age of children is a factor that makes parents treat them differently. What works for a 3 year old may not work for a 10 year old all the time. So, yes things will always be different.

The way a person is brought up also has an influence on their parenting styles. Some do the opposite... most follow what their parents did.

Some parents feel that they did not do well with the first child, so they are extra-cautious about how they bring up the second child. Not fair in certain ways, but acceptable.

There is a cultural influence. Not fair again, but some parents are forced to be part of it.

Whatever possibility I can think of, its hard to shake off the feeling that parents telling their children that they are loved equally is a myth.

The long-term repercussions are very bothersome to me than the short term.

Shanvy · Oct 26, 2016

Absolutely agree on the above statement of yours @Sparkle. The long term repurcussions are what made me reasess myself frquently. It is a myth the equality for sure but we can try a wee bit more not to be. Then human mind is mysterious,what will be the thought process and changes in my kids mind as they grow up and explore is something i don't have a clue, at this moment i believe they know that we treat both equally and are happy. If in future they have a different view i have to accept it

rachaputi · Oct 26, 2016

Sparkle said: ↑

Y? Y? Share share...
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I don't have knowledge in this subject teacher.. thrust me

pion · Oct 26, 2016

They love their children equally till they get married. Mostly, the eldest will lose love because he did not carry the siblings responsibility completely after marriage. The youngest child will continue getting love and everything from parents.

Sparkle · Oct 26, 2016

rachaputi said: ↑

I don't have knowledge in this subject teacher.. thrust me
Click to expand...

Shanvy · Oct 26, 2016

rachaputi said: ↑

I don't have knowledge in this subject teacher.. thrust me
Click to expand...

Is that pun or mischievous auto predictive phone. and @rachaputi don't leave open suggestions people try to thrust their opinios otherwise too. just kidding...it is a serious topic..and your post made me

beautifullife30 · Oct 26, 2016

very interesting answers.....

Right now my kids' favorite game seems to be 'whos the mommy's favorite boy?'

So my younger came to me day before and asked me in a very sweet voice for a kiss and a hug. OFcourse, I lifted him up, gave him a kiss on his cheek and told him hes a good boy and put him down.....

....just to see him rush to his elder brother the next second and tell him that he (the younger one) is mommy's favorite and that he got a kiss and a hug from mommy....

since that day (its been around two days now) every kiss, every hug, every little pat on the head is counted and given equally to both of them!

phew....!!!

Sparkle · Oct 26, 2016

beautifullife30 said: ↑

very interesting answers.....

Right now my kids' favorite game seems to be 'whos the mommy's favorite boy?'

So my younger came to me day before and asked me in a very sweet voice for a kiss and a hug. OFcourse, I lifted him up, gave him a kiss on his cheek and told him hes a good boy and put him down.....

....just to see him rush to his elder brother the next second and tell him that he (the younger one) is mommy's favorite and that he got a kiss and a hug from mommy....

since that day (its been around two days now) every kiss, every hug, every little pat on the head is counted and given equally to both of them!

phew....!!!
Click to expand...

I was smiling as I was reading your post.....

Sparkle · Oct 26, 2016

But I am still looking for answers....

Why is it not possible to love one's own children equally ? Or if it is possible, how to do so?
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But what could parents do or say or act upon to reduce the long term effects?
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Shanvy · Oct 26, 2016

i would say yes to the second part of your query. and me and my dd still talk about what all made her feel left out and i do ask my son too. We have those open discussions and sometimes they both have their own sibling talks and they get back to me if they feel I should know something this is possible with a bigger kids.

and by never appreciating one by belittling the others achievements..(something that transcends to ribbing on nri and non nri or the high earner and the meagre earner)
by being appreciative of both in a balanced way. and never depriving the one who deserves it just because the other will feel bad

My son does not get undue privileges now because of what he went through. Oh this is a very difficult issue to have a simple standard one solution fits all answer @Sparkle